Saturday came sooner than I thought. Today Bashar uncle's family will be coming here to see me and I'm very nervous and scared. Ever since Abu told me about the whole proposal, I've been so worried about it for the past three days.

I even tried to tell Arman Bhai to try to talk to Abu two days ago. He told Abu that it's too early for me to get married at such a young age, and in return, Abu told him that it's better off for girls to get married off early from making any mistakes in the future. I hate that mindset of his and then he started comparing me to my other cousins on how some of them are either engaged already or married. Arman Bhai told him that this is not Pakistan and that I shouldn't be compared to others, but of course, Abu never listens to anyone.

Although Ammi and my brothers told me not to worry too much, I'm still scared because of my dad's decision, which I doubt that he will say no since he did make the decision without even telling me until three days ago.

Sometimes I just hate being a female because of the lack of some freedom we don't have. Why do men have to make all the decisions for us? Why do they always think that women are at fault when there's something wrong? Why do they always think that the daughters will always do something wrong to bring shame to the family? Why not the sons also? It's so messed up.

I know it's not the same for many other families or even other Pashtun families also. It's more of the culture than the religion more precisely. In Islam, everyone is equal and has their own independent freedom to make their own decisions, but culture is a whole different idea. Especially in the Pashtun culture, where they are super strict on their morals and think of men being above women in everything. Though not all, my family certainly is like that and I hate it.

I decided to not hurt my head more about this whole situation and just see what Allah has planned out for me. I finished up my morning routine as usual and grabbed my dupatta (scarf)to put around my shoulders while going downstairs to the kitchen to help out Ammi with breakfast.

Ammi and I quickly set up the table with the food. We didn't have too much time to waste since it will be so busy today. So, my family and I had a quick breakfast and went on with our day as usual. Abu went to work and informed Ammi before leaving that they will be arriving in the evening, at seven for dinner.

**************************************

Ammi and I spend the rest of the morning and afternoon preparing for the dinner. I helped my mom cook and clean the house to make sure it looks nice. Ammi made samosas, kebabs, and channa chaat, while I made the biryani and ras malai for dessert. I was so happy with how my biryani came out so well. Ammi has been teaching me how to cook so many different Pakistani foods and by far learning how to cook biryani must be the best because now I can make it for myself whenever I want. It's my favorite dish.

The whole house was filled with the aroma of the different foods that were being cooked. It felt like I was in heaven, even though I wasn't happy with how my life was going to change in a few hours. But I didn't care at that moment because I wanted to devour it since it's been so long Ammi and I made so much food. I can't imagine myself without eating food if I'm stressed or worried about something. That's why I stress eat a lot. Now I need to stop ranting about food and finish everything up fast before Ammi screams at me.

I was in the kitchen when Ammi came in. She told me that Abu is here from work and he wants to speak to me in his room. I asked her why he came home early today, and she said because of the dinner, as he wants everything to go smoothly. I quickly put my dupatta (scarf) on my head and headed straight to Ammi and Abu's room.

Once I got to their room, I opened the door to my dad watching the news on the TV in their room. "As-salaamu' Alaykum Abu (Peace be upon you, dad)" I said. "Waleikum Asalam beta, sange chal de? (may peace be upon you, how are you?)" he asked. "Theek ye Abu (I'm a good dad)" I said. I wonder what Abu wanted to talk about now and at this time because I wasn't understanding his instincts at all.

He gestured me take a seat with him on the sofa infront of the bed. "Beta, tumhe toh pata hai na ke ajj Basher ke ghar wale aa rahe hai tumhara rishta mang ne uske beta Haider Ali Shah ke liye (you know that today Bashar and his family are coming for your hand in marriage for his son Haider Ali Shah)" he said. "Gee Abu, pata hai mujhe (yes dad, I know)" I said looking down at my hands, then looking back at him listening to what he has to say.

"Umeed hain ke tum mujhe sharminda nahi garongi beta, main yeh sab tumhare faide ke liye kar raha hoon (I hope you don't embarrass me, my child, I'm doing all this for your sake)" he said. I looked at him wide-eyed because he expects me to say yes to the proposal. I didn't know what to say and kept quiet trying to take in what he said. "Woh log bahut Acha hain, aur Haider beta tumhare bahut hayal rakhega (they are very nice, and Haider will take good care of you and your needs)" he said. "Tum mere uper bojh nahi ho beta. Main bass chahta hoon ke tum apne ghar ki ho jao Sara beti ki thara, tha ke mere dil ko sukoon aye ke tumhe maine sahi salamat se ruksat kiya hai ek ache gharaney main (you're not a burden on me my child, but I just want to see you get married off safely into a nice family so my heart can be at ease)" he said.

I didn't know what to do in this situation. I had tears in my eyes and my heart was pounding at a fast paste. Abu wants me to say yes to the proposal just so he can be at ease. I didn't know if I should listen to my heart and say no to the proposal so I can live my life or listen to Abu and full fill his wish. I didn't know what side to choose, I was stuck until he spoke again. "Zara, mere faisle ko inkar math karo. Maine tumse zindagi kuch nahi manga, par ajj pehli mang raha hoon. Wada Karo mujse ke tum inkar nahi karogi is rishte ke liye (Zara, don't say no to my decision. I never asked you for anything in my whole life and this will be my first time to say yes. Promise me that you won't say no?) he asked me.

I had no choice but to say yes because I can't say no. He is right, that he's given me everything that I ever asked him for. This is his first time asking me and that too for my advantage. As much as I don't want this, I still will agree to it just for my father's sake. "A-abu m-main inkar nahi karogi, sirf t-tumhare hatir. Zindagi main pehli bar tumne mujse kuch manga hain, mai kaise inkar kar sakti hoon. M-main itni bhi khudgaarz nahi hoon (d-dad I-I won't reject the proposal, f-for you only. This is the first time yuh ou ever asked me for something, how can I say no. I am not that selfish)" I said with tears in my eyes.

"Jeetay raho meri beti, Allah tumhe khush, mehfooz aur kamyab rake (live on my daughter, may Allah keep you happy, protected and successful)" he said patted me on my head. "Ameen (Amen)" I said.

**************************************

It was around four-thirty in the evening, and I was finishing up my Maghrib prayer when Ammi came into my room with a bag. "Zara beta, namaz par li? (Zara my child, did you finish your prayer?)" "Gee Ammi (yes mom)" I said. She handed me over the bag she was holding in her hand. I took and peeked inside it to see what was inside.

"Zara iss bag mai suit or chudhiya hain, maine chahti hoon ke tum yeah suit pehno. tum per bahut pyare lagenge (Zara, in this bag there is a dress and some bangles that I want you to wear. They will look really nice on you)" She said. I took out the dress and the box that had the bangles inside it from the bag. The dress was a beautiful light green dress with white embroidery and the bangles were silver ghungroo bangles, which made nice jingle sounds.

I was too focused on the bangles when Ammi said "Ab jaldi se thayar ho jao, Nazri Begum aur uski ghar waley two ya theen ghante mai ajayenge (now go and get ready fast, Nazri Begum and her family will be here in two or three hours.)" "Gee Ammi (yes mom)" I said and went to the bathroom to take a nice cool shower since I've been working for the past few hours. I bet I probably smell because of all the sweat.

I took a nice fifteen-to-twenty-minute shower, which was so relaxing. I changed into a different set of clothes since I don't want the other dress to get wet because of my hair. I brushed my hair and let it air dry and started doing my makeup. I tried to keep it as natural as I can by only applying some concealer to cover my dark circles, mascara, blush, highlighter, and a little pop of pinkish nude lipstick on my lips.

When I was doing my makeup, I remembered that I never got to tell Noor or Kate about this whole proposal. I bet if I tell them now or later, they sure will be pissed at me anyway, so I think it's better off I tell them tomorrow and the rest we'll see. By the time I was done with my makeup, my hair was pretty much dry also. I styled it in a half up and half down, securing it with a clip and letting my bangs fall half on my face loosely. I quickly changed into the dress that Ammi gave me and a pair of medium size silver jumkas with the bangles as well.

I went downstairs to see all three of my brothers here and ready, as well as Ammi and Abu. Ammi changed into a nice blue suit and wore a pair of her gold earrings and chain necklace. All my brothers and Abu were wearing the traditional Pakistani shalwar kameez. They all did look great in it though as usual. Abu said that Bashar uncle called that they will be arriving in about five minutes.

In the meantime, Ammi told me to come into the kitchen and see the preparations. I looked at the food that I and Ammi spend the whole day preparing. Everything was good. Soon Bashar uncle's family came and Abu and my brothers seated them in the guest living room. Ammi went to go see them and told me to come later, like five to seven minutes later.

I was getting nervous now and I can't believe what I'm about to do. I'm about to make the biggest decision of my life."Ya Allah please make this easy on me and help through every step of the way, Ameen (Amen)" I said to myself while fixing my dupatta (scarf) on my head and headed to the living room walking in.

"As-salaamu' Alaykum (Peace be upon you)" I said. "Waleikum Asalam beti (may peace be upon you, my child)" both Bashar uncle and Nazri aunty said. "Zara beta yaha aao, mere saath baito (Zara come here, sit next to me)" Nazri aunty said to me. She seemed sweet to me, so I sat down next to her and she kissed me on my forehead to show love. "Mashallah, bahut pyaari beti hai tumhari Shereen. Allah kisi ki nazar na lag jaye, Ameen (your daughter is so beautiful shereen. May nobody cast an evil eye on her)" she said to ammi.

"Kaisi ho tum beti? (How are you?)" She asked me. "Alhamdulillah aunty, main theek ho. Ape kaisi hain? (I'm good aunty. How are you?)" I asked in return to which she answered that she's doing well. I stayed quiet for the next three minutes until my dad asked them where their son Haider was. Bashar uncle told him that he was coming here straight from work, so he will be arriving any second now. That's when the bell rang and Ammi told Azaan to receive him.

While my parents and his parents were talking when he walked in wearing a white button-up dress shirt with a black tie and black pants. His sleeves were rolled up showing his long arm and his hair was perfectly combed. He was a good-looking man, with a stubble beard. His eyes were black just like the color of the black shoes he wore. He smiled as he walked in further to the living room giving handshakes and hugs to my brothers and Abu. He bowed down a little so Ammi can pat him on his head and say Salam to each other.

He went and sat down next to Abu and Arman Bhai. Ammi and Nazri aunty were having their own conversation, while Abu, Bashar uncle, and my brothers talked to him for some time about his work, life, future goals, and the usual talks. I just sat there next to Ammi and Nazri aunty observing them. A few minutes later Bashar uncle recommended to Abu that Haider and I should speak privately to get to know each other and our thoughts about this union. Abu gives his permission to lend us talk in private, in the family room for some time.

**************************************

As we both walked to the family room, with each step that I took I got more and more nervous. We haven't even said a word to each other yet. Somehow, he seemed so calm though, like he wasn't really interested in some reason.

Once we entered the family room, I gestured for him to take a seat on the sofa ahead facing me. "So, Zara, kaisi ho tum? (How are you?)" He asked sitting down, looking at me. "Theek ho main, tum kaise ho? (I'm good, how are you?)" I asked in return. He replied saying he's well. We talked for a few minutes trying to get to know each other more. A few minutes later, he stopped talking asked me "kya tumhe pata tha is rishte ke barey main jab hamarey parents ne set kia tha? (Did you know about this proposal when our parents set it up?)" He asked. "Nahi, mujhe toh theen din pehle abu ne bataya tha. Kyun? Kya howa? (No, my dad told me about it three days before today. Why? What happened?)" I asked him. He looked a little surprised when I told him that I just found out and stayed silent for a few minutes. "Kuch nahi. Toh, tumhara faisla kya hoga is rishte ke barey main? (No, nothing. So, what will be your decision about this marriage?)" He asked, leaning back into the sofa.

"Mujhe koi aitraaz nahi hain is rishte say (I have no objection on this marriage)" I said to him. He smiled and said "good, I expected that. I guess we should go back and let our parents know about our final decision then." Hearing this from him kind of made me feel dejected. Maybe because somewhere in my heart I was hoping that he would reject the proposal. We both got up to walk back and join our families in the living room.

**************************************

Both of us were back in the living room, while everyone else was so eager to know about our decision. Nazri aunty asked me what my final decision was, and I looked at Ammi holding her hand in mine. I told her, that I agree with the proposal, but as long as I get to continue with my education. Bashar uncle and Nazri aunty both assured me that I will and that freedom won't be taken away from me. Ammi gave me a surprised look, as well as my brothers. I nod my head at them to stay still and I'll explain everything later, as a sign. I look ahead and see Haider looking straight at me with a blank look on his face.

A few moments later he also states his agreement on the proposal to which everyone hugs each other and gave out sweets."Mubarak sha Ahmed Bhai, ab toh rishta paka howa. Agar ijazat ho toh hum anguti pehna sakte hain? (Congratulations Ahmed, now the relationship is for sure. With your permission, can we put the ring on her)" Nazri aunty asked Abu.

Abu nodded his head to her to proceed with the ceremony. She gave the ring to Haider, he sat next to me with a little space in between us and slid the ring on my ring finger. After the ring ceremony asked about the Nikkah (marriage contract or Islamic marriage) date. I completely forgot about that when Abu told us. They said that they want to set up the date now because in two days they must leave for Canada because of Bashar uncle's work. I'm not ready for this at all, what the hell am I going to do? What have I got myself into?

"Ab tareekh kya rakhe nikkah ka? (What date should we set the marriage on?)" They asked. Ammi and Abu told them that we will need time to prepare all the events. They suggested that date after three weeks should be fine, and it will also be good because they will be back from their trip from Canada in one and a half weeks also. It will give them time to prepare also then and they all agreed on that.

For the rest of the time, I didn't really engage much in the conversation because I was too concerned about Haider's intense gaze on me. Ever since I have announced my final decision on agreeing to the marriage, he's been like this, staring at me with his intense gaze. Did I say or did something wrong? I'm so confused, but whatever. Ami called me into the kitchen and I looked at the clock in our living room. It read nine ten and it was time to serve them dinner, so I went to the kitchen to help Ammi set up the dinner.

**************************************

😅

🎉