《GOOD wife》24. Sunflower
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I could feel the cold wind mocking me for these 16 years when they touch my cheeks while I am going back to my home. A new drop of tear stain continue to flow through my face whenever the old one dries. And, my eyes are burning with the realization of betrayal. I was betrayed by the one who promised me loyalty. Who the hell I am kidding?
James never considered me as his wife. He used to call me as Wife to mock me, to remind me that I will never be able to replace his Willa and my kids will never replace Malcolm. But he never reconsidered the fact that I knew, I am not Willa. I will never be able to replace her. I was never thinking of replacing Willa. I wanted to have my place. I respect Willa. She loved James when he was going through his dark phase. Despite being born to one of the richest men, The journey of James Carter from nothing to moneymaker was never easy.
Everyone knew that one day James will take his place as heir of his father's empire, but he was granted the freedom of choosing his career. He chose basketball. He played well… The best on his team. He was one expensive player, it happened. The accident… And everything changed for him. He and his best friend left the basketball.g
James was paralyzed for an after the accident while, and his friend, quit the sport because he wasn't ready to play without James.
James is blessed. At first, the family, then friends and then Willa. And, I have nothing. My family did the opposite, they abandoned me the first chance they get.
“Where are we?” I asked the old driver, whose speed was sluggish est. I regret hiring a cab to return home. I need to learn to drive.
“The road is still slippery from last night rain, my child. I want to reach home, alive, in one piece.” The old man laughed.
My child.
I remembered Father's words when he told me after my little stunt with Ryan Harrison… the man I despise now, the man who stole my sister.
“Forgiveness is a journey, my child.” Father patted my cheeks and cleaned my wound.
“But Ryan was being bad.” I pouted. Why do I have to be a good girl always? No one speaks to Ryan about it.
“But he did say he was sorry.” Father smiled and looked behind me. I know, Amy must have followed us. She is outside, in the backyard, who always runs away whenever tragedy hits her.
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“But he is not sorry.” I folded my arms over my chest and looked at Father.
“No one ever realizes the impact of their deeds until they want to feel it.” Father looked at me again. “Anna, Ryan is a good boy. I know. He is bad at expressing… My heart says, he is trying to impress his new friend.”
“They tease me.” I could feel heat over my cheeks.
“And why?” Father chuckled.
“Because I am short.”
“That's why you are cute.”
“I don't want to be short and cute… I want to be big. Just like Amy.”
“You have no idea..... You are maturer than Amy…” Kissing my forehead, “Amy is my girl. She is my heart… But you, my child, are my life.” Father finished the first aid.
“Really?”
He nodded.
“Do you love me more than Amy?” I chirped.
“Are you 7?” Father faked his anger and I giggled. “Listen to me.....”
“Listen to me.....” My remembrance, Eradicated by the old man.
“You were saying something?” I asked.
“Your smile is pretty. My granddaughter has almost the same smile.” He said. “You were smiling.”
I forced a smile and looked around. We are still in the middle of the road… In the forest. Why is our car stopped?
“There is an orphanage there…” He pointed at the light, a little far from us. “I know the people. They are good. The rain is about to start, so let's go there… It could be freezing. My heater of my car is not working.” Offering a polite smile, the old man got out of the car and opened the door for me.
I followed him but made sure my bag has all my guards… Whistle, peppermint spray, even my phone has full battery.
“I am sorry, you have to go through this…” the old man didn't turn and continued to walk. “I am trying to save money to repair my car, but it is never enough.” He sounded tired.
Something inside me tumbled. I could feel his tiredness… His slouching shoulder was down with distress. Those legs were exhausted. And I think he is about to quit.
“My brother is expanding his business here. He runs a cab service. And, he needs staff.” Informing him, I repeated David's words.
“I am old, my child… But my son needs a job. He is graduated… He was accountant — but since the death of my daughter-in-law, nothing is easy for us.”
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He was an accountant.
I remember David talking about getting an accountant. He said they are expensive… Even Trina said they do the job, but she couldn't afford them. How much do an accountant charge?
“My brother needs an accountant, even my business needs an accountant… Maybe….” I couldn't complete the statement. I am telling a stranger about my business. Is he a safe person?
“I will inform him… He will never adjust if it hurts, April. I am proud of him, he loves his daughter.” He said and helped me inside the church.
I settled myself on the bench while the old man left me and roamed inside the church that was decorated with Sunflowers that signifies pure thoughts…. Symbolizes adoration and dedication. No doubt, the arriving kids are adorable and dedicated. Soon, the kids started to sing. And then it was filled with people… Mostly kids.
Looking at them, I realized they all are orphans. They have no one, yet they are so happy… Their life is difficult yet easy. They have no one that expects anything from them. It's them against the world.
“Why are you crying?” I felt little hands wiping my face.
I looked at the source and found the cutest frown ever. She must be 4… I think.
“Everything will be fine.” She mumbled and hugged me.
I held her and felt her relaxing in my arms. Is she an orphan too? How can someone abandon such a sweet soul?
“Father said, feelings are cotangen… It spread from people to people.” She said. Her eyes emitted a sense of achievement.
I chuckled. “Do you mean… Contagious?” I asked.
She nodded with such power that her tiny body rocked my world. She looked happy. And, yes, she was right. Feelings are contagious. I could feel her Joy. Her presence is making me happy.
“Annie.....?” A feminine voice called her and run towards us. “I am so sorry, she is talkative..... and, loves to run around.”
“She is cute.” Pulling her cheeks, I laughed.
“I am not cute…” Folding her chubby arms over her chest, “I am a big girl.” She tried to glare at me.
We laughed.
Annie told me about sister Ruth and how she always lectures them and about Father and Mother as well. While Sierra and I listen to her. I remember talking a lot. I loved talking. Amy and her friends used to bully me for this until Gorge arrived, who was my shield. He protected me, but I pushed him away. Now David… He was ready to fight with James, but again, I held him.
I was addicted to keeping the Hollow possibilities of having a family with James. He never, not even in his drunken state, showed me love. All I could see is a grieving man and nothing. He cried for Willa and Malcolm and neglected his potential family in front of him. I was ready to be with him, I was ready to be a part of his misery, yet I was treated like a low creature. He called me many names… Never thought twice that we have a daughter, listening to her drunk father abusing her mother. Cherish saw my wounds..... Even though I tried to hide them.
Sierra was lecturing something to Annie about not complaining whenever Annie yelled and run from us.
“Grandpa...... Grandpa… Siri is screaming at me.” Annie yelled, and everyone present in the church heard us. They look at us while Sierra looked embarrassed. “I am scared. Save me.”
“She always does this,” Sierra mumbled with annoyance.
“Grandpa?” I was confused. “I thought she is….” I couldn't complete the statement when I realized Sierra is one of them. She is an orphan too.
“No worries… My father left me here when he married. He promised me, that he will be back. But his wife… He still visited me, but it's just a visit….” Looking at the direction of Annie, “she is not an orphan. Her mother is the daughter of our pastor… But she is not stable. Needs a stable home and I am scared. Somehow, once I was in a foster home, it's scary. Especially when their kids don't accept you.”
Her concern for Annie won my heart… It gave me the idea of fostering. I was selfish for Jamie and Cherish and needed a good amount, but these kids need help… I know what will be my settlement for divorce?
Enough amount for Cherish and Jamie and I will be independent for Annie. Annie needs home and I need peace of mind. Maybe we could help each other.
I got up and stormed in the direction of Annie, leaving Sierra there. I followed the voice of the tantrum of a kid. It's Annie. That's when I heard a familiar voice, “Forgiveness is a journey, my child.”
Father?
.
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