It was dark by the time Peyton left Sadie's apartment. They had spent the remainder of the day chatting and Sadie cooked a lovely meal which Peyton thoroughly enjoyed. She could not believe that she was actually eating willingly. She felt good about it.

On her way back home in the taxi she sent Kimberly a text:

Hey, you home?

Kimberly answered immediately which comforted her:

Yes.

You doing anything important?

No. Just watching tv. Why?

I really really need some KPT.

Sure. When will you be home?

I'm on my way. Just a couple minutes.

I'll be here.

Peyton smiled as she put her phone away. When she got home she noticed that neither Mr nor Mrs Dexter was at home and she was thankful for that. She needed to talk to Kimmy before she could deal with anyone else.

"Kimmy?!" She yelled as she locked the door and walked towards the living room. She saw Kimberly sitting there looking at her with an amused look on her face. She ran up and jumped on the couch next to her, "Kimmy Kimmy Kimmy!"

Kimberly laughed, "yes Peyton?"

She pulled Kimberly into a hug as she asked her, "I take it you had a good day then?"

Peyton pulled away and with a huge smile on her face she nodded, "you first though. How was your date?"

"You're obviously more excited than me. We can talk about that first."

Peyton shook her head with force, "uh uh. It's always about me. Let's talk about you first. How was it?"

At this, Kimberly began to blush uncontrollably, "it was beyond amazing..." She said in a dreamy tone. "He took me to build a bear and he made one for me and I made one for him."

Peyton interrupted, "I'm assuming that is yours?" She questioned with a smile as she pointed to the bear that Kimberly was hugging.

Kimberly beamed and nodded as she handed the bear to Peyton, "he's cute isn't he?"

"He sure is. What's his name?"

"Rocco. Kirk named him. And I named his own Patches. I don't know why though. I am bad at coming up with names. Anyhow, after that we went for lunch and we split the meal so we ended up sitting so close to each other we kept rubbing against each other. Then we went for ice cream. It was so amazing. I thought I was in love with Timmy. Turns out I just really liked him. I am in love with Kirk Peyton. I never imagined it could feel this way. It's like when I'm around him everything is seems so much better and I am so happy. And when we touch, it's like magic. When I'm away from him I miss him so much and I just can't stop thinking about him. Is this how you feel about Sadie?"

Peyton smiled a bittersweet smile, "basically yeah..."

Kimberly frowned, "awww boo, I'm sorry."

Peyton handed her back her bear as she asked confused, "sorry for what?"

"It must be torture being in love with someone who doesn't love you back the same way..."

"Eh... it's not that bad really. You get accustomed to it."

"Peyton... don't be so flippant about this."

"Hey, it's nobody's fault that of the two people I fell in love with, one is straight and the other's a homophobe... Maybe one day I'll learn to make better choices."

Kimberly frowned again, "but that's the thing, you don't exactly chose who to fall in love with."

"I guess not. But, at least I can still be friends with those people." Peyton smiled. "That's good enough for me. I don't need a relationship anyhow. I'm not ready and I don't know if I'll ever be."

"Well that's one way to rationalise it away."

Peyton shrugged.

Kimberly took in a breath before changing the topic and the mood. She smiled as she asked, "so, what about you? How did things go with Sadie?"

Peyton beamed, "well, for starters I spent the entire day there!" She went on to give Kimberly the rundown of the day. The only thing she didn't go into detail about was Sadie's parents. She thought she would give Sadie that privacy.

"Oh my god boo! You actually told her that you're in love with her? I'm so proud of you. That was probably so hard to do!"

Peyton nodded with a huge smile, "I know right?! But I just went with my vibes at the moment and well I guess it's better to clear the air you know? Plus, since I told everyone at lunch yesterday I didn't want her finding out that way. I wanted her to hear it from me."

"You sure are something else Peyton." Kimberly smiled at her. "I can't believe she's actually getting you to eat though. She sure has some amazing power over you."

"If only she knew how much..."

They continued talking until Mr and Mrs Dexter got home with pizza for dinner of which Peyton only ate half of a slice. After dinner everyone went their separate ways to their bedrooms for the night.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sunday morning passed quietly for Peyton as she finished up her homework. She had just forced down some lunch and was currently lying in her bed listening to music when she heard her phone chime with a text message. She lazily reached for her phone and checked it. She smiled brightly when she saw it was from Sadie:

Hey, how are you?

I'm just dandy. You?

I'm okay. A little nervous though. I'm going to make those calls now...

Oh. Really? It will be okay don't worry. You can always call me when you're done. Tell me how it went. If you want me to come over or anything. I'll be right here.

Thanks Peyton...

It'll be fine. Stop stressing yourself out. Who are you gonna call first?

I'm thinking I'll call Casey first. Cause I have no idea what state I'll be in after talking to mom...

Sounds like a good plan to me. And just remember, I'm only a phone call or a text away.

I know. Thanks. I just may call you afterward. Hey, if I send you a link to a song on facebook will you listen to it?

You better! I'll be waiting :) And yeah, of course I will.

Okay good. I just sent it. Bye Peyton.

Okay, Imma check it out now. Bye Sadie.

Peyton did as she promised and opened facebook on her phone - she was too lazy to get up and go to her computer. Sure enough, she saw that Sadie had sent her a message with a youtube link. She tapped the link and waited curiously while youtube loaded the song. Her brows creased when she read the title of the song: I Don't Have the Heart by James Ingram. With a shrug she put her headphones on and tapped play.

♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫

Your face is beaming

You say it's 'cause you're dreaming of how good it's going to be

You say you've been around and now you've finally found

Everything you wanted and needed in me

I don't have the heart to hurt you

It's the last thing I want to do

But I don't have the heart to love you

Not the way you want me to

Inside I'm dying to see you crying

How can I make you understand

I care about you, so much about you

Baby I'm trying to say this as gently as I can

'Cause I don't have the heart to hurt you

It's the last thing I want to do

But I don't have the heart to love you

Not the way you want me to

You're so trusting and open

Hoping that love will start

But I don't have the heart

Oh no, I don't have the heart

♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫

Peyton stopped the song and put her phone on the nightstand as she just stared up at the ceiling. She had no idea what to make of that song. 'Is it supposed to be something good or something bad for me? What is she really trying to say? I don't get this girl! Argh!'

She turned herself roughly onto her stomach as she mulled over the song. Although she didn't quite understand Sadie's meaning, she think she got it. 'She'll never love me. This is another fucking dead end...' A few tears escaped her as she fell asleep.