It is the third week since Peyton spent the day with Sadie and she regrets it more and more with each day that passes. Why the fuck did I do that?! I could have just left her at the park like she wanted.

It was pure torture for her. She felt that she was better off before when Sadie hated her and ignored her but now, now that they kissed and spent the day together and Sadie is ignoring her again, it's too much to handle.

Kimberly has been asking her what's wrong but she keeps saying things like 'nothing' or 'no more than the usual'. She promised Sadie that she would not tell a soul about what happened and she believes in keeping her promises. And if it means being tortured every waking moment, well so be it.

She did her best to put a good show on for the world though. The only person who picked up on anything being wrong was Kimberly.

Recently she has been trying everything to forget about Sadie. She tried to join the football team but that was a bust. She changed her hairstyle and that did made her feel good. She tried to delete all the text messages she sent to Sadie - which Sadie ignored - but just couldn't bring herself to that just yet. She even tried to delete Sadie's number from her phone but she knew that was pointless because she knows it by heart.

She honestly feels hurt by the lengths Sadie is going through to avoid her. She honestly doesn't understand why. I mean, I thought we got past all this shit that Thursday.

It was Friday and she and the others were having lunch when she questioned Casey, "so Casey, what's up with your friend?"

Casey looked up at her, "you mean Sadie?"

Peyton nodded, "yeah. She only came to school on Monday this week. Is she okay?"

Casey shrugged, "truth be told I really don't know. She never answers my calls or texts anymore and I don't know where she lives. No one does. But I'm really worried about her. She has been so off recently. Something is wrong but she refuses to talk to me about it."

Peyton felt a pang of hurt slap her, she felt that it is her fault that Sadie is like this. She felt responsible for causing Sadie's troubles.

"Hey, you okay?" Kimberly whispered in her ear.

She nodded.

"Oh my god!" Everyone looked to Justine who made the loud outburst. She smiled shaking her head, "it makes sense now."

"What makes sense?" Kirk asked her with a chuckle.

"Peyton is in love with Sadie."

Peyton choked on her food. When she was done coughing she spoke, "what?! Where would you get such an absurd idea from? The girl is a raging homophobe! Plus, she's not even my type."

Justine chuckled, "just because she is straight does not make her immune from having a girl fall for her. And this is the second time you have defensively said that she is not your type leading me to believe that she in fact is your type."

Peyton just stared at Justine, "you're wrong."

"Really? Because I've been thinking, you two were okay then you had that fight and you started avoiding her. It was as if you couldn't stand to be in the same place with her although you'd keep stealing glances at her. That was totally normal. But then one day you both do not come to school and the day after that the tables turned. You were doing everything in your power to be around Sadie but she was avoiding you like the plague. And when she thought no one was looking at her, she'd steal glances at you not to mention she can't keep her eyes away from you since you cut your hair. And now, now that she hasn't come to school for four days, you're asking about her and looking as if you might shrivel up and die soon if you don't find out that she's okay. That is not totally normal."

Peyton was weighing her options. She could blow up at Justine and tell her to mind her own business. She could say nothing. She could tell her the truth. She just was not sure which to do.

"It's okay. You don't have to answer. Your expression says it all. Plus, silence means consent."

Peyton sighed then, "fine... yes okay. I am in love with her. I have been since I first saw her even before we came to this school. And yes, I am worried as hell about her and it is killing me not knowing how she is and not seeing her for this long. I know how pathetic this all is."

"It's not pathetic. It's adorable." Casey said with a smile.

Later that evening after dinner Mr and Mrs Dexter asked the girls if they wanted to go to the cinema or something. Peyton was about to say yes thinking it would be a good distraction when Kimberly said, "no thanks. Peyton and I have a lot to catch up on."

Mr and Mrs Dexter nodded and said that they would go to bed early in that case, leaving the two girls alone in the living room.

"What'd you do that for?" Peyton asked irritatedly.

Kimberly's only response before she got up and left for her bedroom was, "Peyton Saunders, you are hereby summoned to an evening of KPT."

Peyton watched her friend walk away as she shook her head. I'm not in the mood for this! I don't want to talk! Especially about Sadie!

After about five minutes Peyton sighed heavily and got up to go look for Kimberly. She found her in her bedroom looking through her phone. Peyton went from irritated to full blown furious in an instant. She charged at Kimberly, knocking her over on the bed, and took back her phone.

"What the fuck Kimberly?!"

"Well since you refuse to talk to me, I have to find out what's going on with you somehow."

"You don't just go through my fucking phone! What the fuck is your problem?!"

"What's my problem? Try asking yourself that question! You're the one who's been a bitch lately! You hardly ever talk to me. When I try to ask you what's wrong you snap at me. And you never got on like a total fucking bitch for me using your phone before."

"Fuck you!"

"Really Peyton? That's all you could say? Why don't you grow the fuck up?!"

Peyton glared at Kimberly. She was right. Peyton hated herself for who she has become. She hated herself for falling in love with the one girl she cannot have. She rubbed the back of her neck before sitting on the bed next to Kimberly. "You still willing to marry me?"

"Why?"

"Seems like you're the only one who might be."

"Sadie is just one girl. There's lots of other girls out there. And I know for a fact you will find someone."

"So you're recanting your proposal then?"

"Boo, come on. That's not what this is about and you know it."

Peyton sighed, "it's cause of Kirk isn't it?"

"Huh?"

"You're in love with him right?"

Kimberly sighed, "yes Peyton I am and I am sorry."

"Don't be. It's cool. I'm happy for you. Does he know?"

"Yes. We're actually going on our first date tomorrow. But stop making this about me. What happened between you and Sadie?"

"Who says something happened?"

"You did."

"Huh?"

Kimberly pointed at Peyton's phone. "I read the texts you sent her after that day that you both didn't come to school. 'I'm sorry. Please forgive me.' 'I should never have done that.' 'Please let me know if you're okay.' 'I really enjoyed that day and I thought you did too. Guess I was wrong.' Something definitely happened."

"I sound like a desperate cunt!"

"Peyton!"

"Look Kimmy, there's nothing to tell okay?"

"We've known each other since we were ten. We've been through hell together and this is what you do? You lock me out on something so important? Something that is eating you? Really Peyton? Have you at least spoken to your doctor about it?"

"No, it's nobody's business okay!"

"Whatever Peyton. Keep your secrets." Kimberly said as she got up off the bed and left.

Peyton threw herself back onto the bed and screamed. She knew what the right thing was to do but she just could not.

After several minutes and going over their conversation in her head, she groaned as she got up and went to Kimberly's room to find her lying in bed with her back to the door.

"Kimmy?"

"Go away Peyton."

Peyton sighed. Now I've fucked things up with Kimmy. Way to go Peyton!

"Kimmy I'm sorry." When she got no response she walked over to the bed and sat next to Kimberly. "I'm sorry okay. You're right."

Kimberly turned onto her back to look at Peyton, "I just want to help you boo."

Peyton's eyes welled up, "I know and I really am sorry. It's just that... I promised Sadie that I would not tell you or anyone about what happened."

Kimberly sat up then and hugged Peyton, "I understand. Well I'm not going to force you anymore. I know how strict you are with your promises."

Peyton hugged her back and sighed, "yeah... but it is kinda killing me. I really want to talk to you about it... I think I am going mad."

"Well, I am all ears if that is what you want to do."

Peyton nodded, "yeah... I think I do. Fuck Sadie."

Kimberly chuckled, "okay then."

They adjusted themselves so they were more comfortable and Peyton began, "that night, when I borrowed your car, I went to meet Sadie. She called me crying saying that she was in trouble and didn't know where she was. I found her in a bedroom in Frank's house. He was throwing a party and Adam took her to it. He got drunk, locked them in a room and tried to take advantage of her. She fought him off and that's when I got there and threatened to cut his dick off. When we were leaving some guys were harassing me and she attacked one of them and then we bolted. After that we drove back here. I took her someplace because she wasn't ready to go home. Then, she kissed me and then I kissed her back and we made out. I took her home after that and we just spent the day together talking and she cooked lunch and dinner for me. And damn, that girl can cook! She wants to be a chef. Anyhow... she has barely looked at me, much less said more than two words to me since then..."

Peyton finished with a heavy sigh.

Kimberly just sat there blinking very hard. After a minute or two she finally spoke, "wow..."

"I know right? I mean I try to stop thinking of her. I try to leave her alone. I try to find someone else attractive but I just can't and it's killing me."

"I understand almost everything and I see how it all could have happened. But two things are stomping me. Why'd she call you and why'd she kiss you?"

"I really have no fucking clue! Wait, I asked her why she called me and not Casey and she said that I was the first person she thought of and then she couldn't remember anyone else's number."

"Umm... okay but that makes no fucking sense."

"What do you mean?"

"How could she "not remember anyone else's number"? She doesn't save numbers in her phone's contacts? Please! She lied to you boo."

"I never really thought about that..."

"That's what you have me for. And what did she say about kissing you?"

"I didn't bring it up. I didn't want to hear anything about it being a mistake or an accident or anything so I just left that alone."

"Oh okay. I understand. But the point is she kissed you first and then made out with you. There is hope for you and her after all." Kimberly smiled broadly.

"I really don't think so Kimmy."

"Trust me. There is. A girl does not kiss you unless she wants to and she sure as hell does not make out with you if she doesn't really want to."

Peyton sighed, "I sure hope you are right. But even if you are, she may have wanted it then, when she was confused and still running on adrenaline from everything that happened. She was probably just thanking me for saving her life and since she knows I'm gay I guess she thought that would be a good way to do it."

"You are seriously reasoning this away like that?"

"I can't afford not to. I will just be torturing myself if I think of it in any other way."

"You know what you are going to do?"

Peyton shook her head, "what?"

"You are going to her home tomorrow morning and talk to her some sense into her. She won't answer your calls and texts so you've got to do it in person."

"She just won't open the door."

"Kick it down."