The energy in the house the next day is weird. Not weird in a bad way, but everyone is acting funny.

Mrs. Swaz keeps smiling at me and Dustin and Miriam are sharing secret glances at each other like they know something I don't. The only person acting normal is Mr. Swaz.

I bid them goodbye, insisting on walking to school since I plan on ditching to go see Faith. It doesn't work and Dustin ends up giving me a ride like usual.

Can you drop me off at the hospital? I show him my phone screen before he starts up the car.

He gives me a confused look, but nods anyway.

"Why are we stopping here?" Miriam asks when we pull into the hospital driveway.

"Uh... Blade wants to get out here."

Miriam perks up. "We ditching?"

I shake my head and point to myself. 'I am.' I mouth, unbuckling my seatbelt. I don't care that I'm missing more classes. I might never see Faith again and she's way more important to me than school ever was.

Keep it between us? I show Dustin my phone. I haven't been in a talking mood this morning.

Dustin raises his eyebrow at me. "Blade, is everything okay?"

I nod, giving two thumbs up.

He doesn't look convinced. "Should we come in with you?"

I shake my head, promising him I'm fine. I get out and shut the door before they have a chance to protest further.

The lady at the front desk gives me a hard time about seeing Faith, even when I explain that she's family. I guess they're worried about someone trying to run off with her again, so I can't even be too upset about the precautions they are taking.

"Blade, hi." I turn to see Kate coming towards me. She looks professional as ever with her blazer and briefcase. Sauntering up to the front desk, she gives the lady a bright smile. "Morning, Anna. She's with me." I follow Kate through the halls down to where Faith is.

"How are you today?" Kate asks me in an attempt to make conversation.

I shrug, mouthing 'Okay.'

"Don't look so down. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel." She says it like she knows something I don't. I give her a smile, hoping it hides that I'm on the verge of tears.

It was hard to see Faith so broken and bruised. The thought of her in pain breaks me apart.

Kate gives me space and I sit next to Faith, scared to touch her. She's awake now, and she looks the same as yesterday. Her big brown eyes blink up at me and I breathe through my tears, giving her a smile.

"Hi, baby."

She makes a cooing sound and I almost feel like she recognizes me. I put my finger by her good hand and she grabs it, my heart soaring when I feel her little fingers wrap around me.

"I've missed you," I whisper softly. I still have a hard time talking, but with Faith here, I want her to hear my voice. To hear everything I have to say. I want her to know how much she means to me and how much I care about her.

I want her to hear me say goodbye.

"I'm sorry," I start. "I'm sorry I didn't fight harder to keep you with me. I'm sorry I resented you for so long. I'm sorry you never got the life you deserved." I leaned closer to her. "But you will now. You're going to get adopted by a beautiful family. They're going to give you all the hugs and kisses in the world. You'll get the love and affection your parents never gave you." She's looking at me, her sweet brown eyes making me feel peace finally. It hasn't been easy without her, wondering where she is and if she's okay.

She's not okay right now, but she will be. And she's safe.

I keep whispering to her. I tell her everything that has happened in the past month. I talk about Dustin, and Miriam, and Mr. and Mrs. Swaz. I tell her about Alice and the sort of truce we had.

I stay with Faith for the rest of the morning. When I run out of things to say, I sit with her in silence, drinking in her presence. She drifts off to sleep at some point and I just sit and stare at her.

"Hey," Kate says, stepping into the room. "Visiting hours will be over in about five minutes."

I nod silently, not taking my eyes off Faith.

I lean closer to her again, whispering into her ear. "Good bye, sweet baby." I kiss her hand still wrapped around my finger. "I love you."

****

I don't go back to the Swaz house immediately. Instead, I go to Melissa's.

I know there's not a good chance I'll be able to keep in contact with Faith when she gets adopted. I know there is especially no chance I'll get to stay with her, but I still want to try to get my life in order so I can take care of her... even if it's a small chance I will be able to.

This town holds a lot of good memories, but there is also a lot of bad ones. I can still live here and not be reminded of how awful some days were. The house... not so much. In the four years I lived there; it never felt like home.

So I'm going to sell it.

How?

I have no idea, but first things first... I need to clean up the bathroom where I dragged a mirror shard down my wrist.

The rust-like scent is potent in the bathroom. There's still a lot of blood in the shower, and I'm peeved Melissa didn't bother to try cleaning it up. I was in the hospital for like a week. She could have at least rinsed the blood off the shower floor.

I turn on the shower -hoping to soften the dry blood so it's easier to clean- before picking up the broken mirror shards. I stare at a piece of mirror for a while, wondering if I slit my wrist again will I be successful this time.

I quickly drop the broken glass in the bag, forcing the idea out of my head.

I was stupid to think that coming here wouldn't trigger my suicidal thoughts.

I trekk through, trying to focus on something else while I rinse the blood from the shower floor and other parts of the bathroom. When I'm done, I waste no time leaving, being chased out by thoughts of killing myself.

I spent the rest of the day walking. I don't go anywhere in particular, just walk aimlessly with headphones in my ears, and think about everything and anything.

********

"I have some news," Mr. Swaz tells me kindly when I sit down for dinner. His expression remains impassive so I can't tell if it's good news or not.

"Charles and I talked about it with the kids," Mrs. Swaz continues for her husband, looking nervous and excited at the same time.

"We were thinking we could be the family that adopts Faith." Mr. Swaz finishes.

I drop my fork in surprise, looking at everyone with wide eyes.

"Obviously, we want to know how you'd feel, and..." she trails off. "This way, you'd be able to be in Faith's life but also be able to focus on your future. You both know us. It seems more practical than finding a whole new family which could take a while."

"We all talked about it today," Miriam cuts in. "It's a great idea. We love having you around. Despite only knowing you for a short amount of time... you've kinda wedged yourself into our hearts, and so has Faith."

Mrs. Swaz nods. "Before we made any decisions though, we wanted to talk to you first to see how you feel about it."

I open and close my mouth, many emotions passing through me.

"There's no guarantee that you'll see Faith again if she's put into the system. It's clear you care about her and it's not fair that she will be plucked from your life." Mrs. Swaz tells me.

"We've been thinking of adopting another child into our family for a while now," Mrs. Swaz continues. "No need to think we're doing this because we feel pressured. We love having you and Faith around. You've both become a big part of our lives in a short amount of time."

"Say yes!" Miriam squeals.

"Mir," Dustin says softly, looking at his sister warningly.

"Sorry."

Mrs. Swaz chuckles. "How do you feel, Blade?"

I don't respond for a couple minutes, taking some time to process everything.

"I-" I take a deep breath. "I want what's best for Faith. I just-"

I would love for them to adopt her, but if they let me be a part of her life -however that may look- there's always a chance they'll want to get rid of me. I am not easy. They'll realize I'm not good for Faith, and ask me to stay away from her. Of course, I would.

I just don't know if it'll be better for me to rip the band-aid off now or later. I wipe my eyes trying to mask my anxiety with a smile. "O-okay."

"Okay?" Miriam says excitedly.

I nod and Miriam squeals. "I'm going to have a little sister!" She jumps up and hugs me which is awkward because I'm sitting down, but I do my best to hug her back, still not used to affection.

"I'll call Kate and have her set everything up." Mr. Swaz is smiling as he stands up. "Welcome to the family, Blade."

"Imara," I blurt out.

"What?" Miriam asks, letting me go.

"My name's Imara."

She grins. "Welcome to the family, Imara."

******