I sit leaning against the wall while looking at the fire as everyone talks amongst themselves. I sort of tune out the conversation as I keep staring at the fire while I pull down on my sleeves while breathing in the light and faint smell left by Gwinam. I let out a small sigh as I bury my head into the jacket before feeling a nudge. "Earth to y/n, you in there" Woojin asks as I glance over and smile a little. "Ye I'm still here, what was it" I ask as I look over at the group in front as they're all now looking at me.

"They asked if you liked anyone, before the whole apocalypse thing kicked off" Woojin asks as I slouch back and think for a moment. "Afraid not sorry" I say as I hear a few sighs while some go back to pestering other people. "Wait seriously" Woojin asks while leaning against the wall next to me. "Not really bothered about that sort of thing" I say back while looking over to the group as I hear someone ask Cheongsan about crushes. I just watch as the scene unfolds which ends in Onjo walking away almost in tears. I get up quickly as she walks away from the group.

I see Cheongsan get up as well so I reach over and hold his arm lightly. "Give her a minute alright, it's a lot to take in" I say when he looks over at me confused as to what I was doing. I give him a serious look as he just lets out a sigh and sits back down. I glance over at Onjo as she just sits next to wall with her head in her hands. I bite my cheek before feeling a tug at the back of my jacket. I look back to see Woojin giving me a sorry look.

I glance over at Onjo before going back to the side and sitting down. I keep looking over at the Cheongsan and Onjo anxiously since I didn't want some of my closest friends to go through this kind of confusion and pain. I feel a hand rest on my leg as I become aware of my shaking leg. "You doing alright" Woojin asks quietly as I just send a small smile and nod not really able to give a reply. I run a hand through my hair before sitting back and leaning back against the wall as I stare up at the sky.

I just sit in silence feeling aware of Woojin's hand still resting lightly on my leg. I made no effort to move him away even though I knew it might give him the wrong idea. I find my mind starting to drift as a coping mechanism. Eventually I imagine Gwinam next to me and his hand where Woojin was. I snap out of it quickly as I push myself up and hug my legs. I see Cheongsan looking over at me but not with concern or worry but with a look as if asking for permission to leave.

I glance over at Onjo that's just leaning back now as I nod a little and motion my head over at her. Cheongsan quickly gets up and starts heading over to Onjo to talk to her. "So y/n did you know about them two since you three were close before all the zombies and that" I hear someone ask as I look over to see a boy with glasses looking over at me. "I don't see why that's important right now" I say as he lets out an annoyed sigh.

"What the hell" I hear Suhyeok say quietly as I look over to see him staring over at where Onjo was sitting. His face had gone a pale white colour as he sat frozen in one place as if he was a statue. I glance over to Onjo to see what was currently unfolding. My blood runs cold as I feel all my limbs freeze up while I just stare. Everyone else caught on at this point and had got up while running over at the people there. I can only stay in one place as I have to watch Onjo squirm under Gwinam grip.

I can feel my eyes well up slightly since Suhyeok was right about him. I grip at the jacket over my shoulders as I feel like I'm suffocating in it. I rip it off while panting slightly as I throw it onto the floor. I hear shouting as I look over to see Suhyeok get thrown to the side. I scramble over and try to pull him up but he shakes me off. "Harmless right" Suhyeok hisses at me making sure no one would hear. I'm left stunned as I look over now able to see Gwinam better.

I just watch as he sends punches at everyone and keeps trying to claw at Cheongsan. It was a whole other side to him that I forgot existed. I pull myself up properly as I watch Prez check over Suhyeok carefully as if he was a baby. I have to limp over as all the other people just get batted away as if they were just flies. Gwinam pins Cheongsan down on the floor while grabbing at his face. Cheongsan is obviously trying to push Gwinam away but can't even move him an inch. Onjo tries to push him off but she's sent tumbling away as all the normal people back away obviously afraid.

I manage to reach over and grab Gwinam's arm as he goes to throw me away but stops quickly as he looks over. The look in his eyes does a full 180 the moment he realised I was there instead of the others. "Let go" he says in a low voice yet I can hear a tint of worry behind it. "Leave him alone" I say seriously as neither of us move. The silence is broken as Cheongsan throws a punch at Gwinam's chest. "I have to do this" Gwi nam mouthes to me before going to hurt Cheongsan.

I reach over quickly and try to block Gwinam's approaching arm but just end up with my arm punched harshly into the floor. I flinch at the sudden pain but don't bother crying out or screaming. "You idiot" Gwinam shouts at me as I can just look over at the boy I couldn't recognise. Prez shoves him away as he flies back and hits the wall. I just watch as he looks over at me with a look of worry. I doubt anyone else would notice purely because they were too focused on Onjo and Cheongsan. I pull my eyes away and pull Cheongsan up and force him to stand behind just in case prez couldn't hold him off.

The rest of the people pull Cheongsan back as Woojin comes over and holds my arm lightly and looks over to try and find any damage. "Are you alright, I saw that he hit your arm is it alright" Woojin asks as I just nod not really listening as I keep my eyes on Gwinam. While fighting Prez he keeps looking over at us. I wasn't sure if he was looking at me or Cheongsan but there was a look of pure anger as he looked over. I have to turn away since I felt a tightening in my chest. Woojin pulls me away as Suhyeok runs over to help Prez.

I go over to Onjo as she seems pretty shaken up by it all. "It'll be alright" I say quietly to her as she just nods slowly eyes fixated on the fighting. I turn to see what was happening since I was worried for Suhyeok. Prez would be fine since she could heal at a supernatural speed but Suhyeok can't. I have to just watch from behind Woojin as he stands defensively in front. I would protest but with a fucked up leg there not much I can actually do to stop him.

I see Prez push Gwinam roughly after struggling against him. She wasn't as strong as him but Suhyeok made distractions every now and then that stopped Gwinam from killing her. Gwinam ends up falling back against the wall as he grabs onto Prez's collar to try and pull her back with him. Suhyeok grabs onto her and rips her back before sending one last punch at Gwinam which sends him tumbling over the wall. Before I have a chance to think I try and run over but quickly find that I can't as Woojin wraps his arms around my waist to hold me back.

"It's alright see, Suhyeok and Namra are both fine" Woojin says as I choke up a little. I snap back to reality as I have to just stare at the empty space where Gwinam was standing. No one says anything, we all just stand in silence expecting to see the figure climb back up onto the roof but he never does. Woojin let's go after realising he was still holding me. "Sorry" he says quickly as I can't find any sort of words to form sentences so I just hum a little. It might've seemed cold to him but I had just watched as my friend was thrown off a roof to what I have to assume is death.

I feel bad for Woojin since I could've literally said anything else to him and it would've been better than a hum but it was all I could muster up after that. I start walking over to the opposite wall away from everyone to sit down and contemplate. "Where are you going" Woojin asks quickly as I just keep walking. "Away" I say in a cold tone as I get to the wall and sot down. The image keeps playing in my mind as I ruffle my hair trying to escape the thoughts. He couldn't die yet we had a life plan.

If we were both still single at the age of 30 we would become partners in crime and rob banks and have an awesome theme song. At the rate we're going I won't be able to meet anyone by 30 so he has to stay alive. "Fuck" I say under my breath as I feel like all the memories I have with Gwinam flash before my eyes. All the stupid bets and deals we made. All those times he got ill and I ended up buying him snacks and medicine. All the little things that seem insignificant but when added together make a whole jigsaw of memories.

I look up and see the jacket lying on the floor next to the group as I just stare at it. I watch as Suhyeok picks it up and turns over to me. He walks over as I expect him to start telling me about how he was right and how shit a person Gwinam is. He doesn't do any of that. He sits next to me before letting the jacket slip from his fingers onto my feet. I just stare at it for a moment not processing things very well. I then reach over and pull it up to my chest and hold it close while taking in the faint scent left behind.

"I'm sorry, it had to be done but I am sorry" he says not looking over as I just feel my hands shaking a little. "Don't cry, don't let them know it hurts you" Suhyeok says again not making any sign of what was being said here. "Some won't understand that he was your friend, they just see him as" Suhyeok starts saying before stopping mid sentence. "A monster I know" I say in a small and quiet voice.

"How are you feeling" he asks after a few moments of awkward silence. "I don't know" I say honestly since I had no idea what I was feeling right now. It was a mix of complete emptiness and overwhelming grief and I couldn't differentiate between the two. "Take your time alright, it's not easy but we've all lost someone in these past few days so talk with someone you trust" he says as I slouch back even more.

"Thank you but can I have a little time" I say and look over at the boy sitting there as he gives me a sorry look but nods. I let my head fall down into the jacket as Suhyeok goes back to the group. I get left alone for who knows how long since the concept of time had left my mind ages ago. I let a few tears roll from my eyes onto the jacket as I make sure the group wouldn't see. Eventually my mind goes empty in an attempt to just cope since that's all that mattered now. Finding a reason to live.