Have you ever had that feeling of feeling unwanted? That feeling when you feel you don't fit into anything, that you are just that one odd puzzel piece gone wrong. The feeling of not being necessarily sad but just empty. That feeling when you have people you care about but you still feel like you have no one.

Yeah, that one.

Sitting on the couch I look down at my stomach. 6 weeks pregnant so far. That's what my pregnancy test said when I took it. How can I possibly be 6 weeks along and not notice that there is a living thing growing inside of me?

I wonder if cats know when they are pregnant. Like they can't take a pregnancy test. Do they just one day randomly wake up, feeling furry balls of goo bounce around in their stomach and just assume they are pregnant?

I need to go Google this.

" How you feeling honey?" I hear Alexa's voice ask.

" A little nauseous but I'm okay." I reply.

She takes a minute to look at me and then takes a seat next to me.

" How far along are you?" she asks.

" 6 weeks." I reply.

She's quiet for a minute and I swear I can smell the smoke coming from her brain from all the thinking.

" You know... It isn't to late to get an abo-"

" Don't you dare say that word." I cut her off, holding my stomach with both hands.

" I'm going to have this baby." I simply say.

She looks down at my stomach, trying to think of what to say next. After a few minutes of just sitting and staring at my stomach, making me a little uncomfortable, she sighs and scoots closer to me while putting her hand palm down on my flat stomach.

" Well you are definitely not going to have this baby alone. You can call me it's Godmother thank you, even though I'm already it's aunt. Doesn't matter. I'm still it's Godmother." she says with a smile.

Sometimes I do question her intelligence. I guess she can reserve the role for both being godmother and an aunty.

If only it could be that easy.

" I appreciate it Lex." I say placing her hand into mine.

" And you can call me the Godfather. " I hear Luke, Alexa's boyfriend, comment.

" Of course you are." I smile.

Luke is a genuine nice guy. He's been through a lot in his past and I guess that's why he and Alexa get along that well, seeing as she's been through hell and back. Being the favorite daughter didn't mean she still had it easy growing up. While mom was busy pleasing the man I sadly have to call my sperm doner, Alexa basically took on the role as a mother for me. She has played a bigger role in my life than the woman who carried me for 9 months.

I find their relationship adorable. They are high-school sweethearts and even after everything they can still put a smile on each other's faces. I just wish I could find that someone.

Speaking of finding that someone, I should probably let Justin know about his baby. Justin is my boyfriend if you haven't realized it. Don't worry, some people are just slower than other.

I'm not happy with my relationship but I have no other choice, seeing as I am carrying his child. I just hope he feels the same. I still have no idea how I'm going to break the news to him.

I could send him an email? Or bake a note into a cookie. Or I could get one of those airplanes that flies around with banners and- or I could just tell him when I see him again.

Yeah that could work.

" Is it okay with you guys if I crash here for a few nights ?" I ask Alexa and Luke nervously.

" You can stay as long as you need to sis." Alexa says and smiles.

" Who's up for some grilled cheese sandwiches?" Luke says getting all excited.

We all raise our hands and rush into the kitchen like excited little kids. I definitely do question our maturity at times like these but it's food.

Before all the excitement starts I hear my phone ringing. I walk back to the sofa to see it's Justin's ID caller. Oh no.

" Hey ba-"

" ARE YOU SERIOUSLY PREGNANT?!" I'm caught off guard by Justin's yelling.

Fuck.

How? How is it possible that he knows? Well however he found out, it made my job easier.

" Pfff no-"

" Everly cut the bullshit." he yells into the phone.

" Okay yes. Yes I'm pregnant with your child Justin." I reply.

The other side of the phone is silent. After about 30 seconds of silence I hear something being thrown into a wall or the floor and break. Typical Justin. Always getting violent when things don't go his way. I wonder if his parents ever educated him on how babies are made - it would surely make the situation better seeing as I'm not the only one at fault here. But for the sake of my unborn child, I will take the crap he throws my way. I don't want my child growing up without its dad.

" Just stay the fuck AWAY from me." he demands and immediately ends the call.

That didn't go as planned...

I just sit there with the phone pressed to my ear.

Speechless.

I have no words.

How can he just say something like that? It's his child for the love of God. Half of him is growing inside of me and he's just throwing us away like we are left over, rotten, food.

" Everly what's wrong?" I hear Alexa ask from the kitchen.

I sit still. Not a single word can form on my lips.

" Everly?" Alexa comes walking over to where I'm sitting. She probably noticed something is wrong seeing as in sure all the blood drained for my face. She immediately went on her knees as she tries to shake me out of my thoughts.

" H-He left m-me" I struggle to put the words together. As soon as those words left my lips, the tears left my tear glands. I'm not even surprised if I'm being honest. Justin gets like this. As soon as times get tough he runs away. Even when a baby is on the line.

How is it even possible for me to still have tears left? I've probably cried the whole pasific ocean if I put my tears together.

" Oh sis." Alexa tries to console me by wrapping her arms around me and rubbing my back.

After a minute or so I stand up and start to make my way to the guest bedroom.

" I'm not that hungry anymore. Good night Lex." I say and before she can stop me I close the door.

My knees go weak and I slide down until my bum feels the ground and I just, I just cry. I cry because I'm starting to lose everything in my life. I cry because I don't know what the future is going to look like after what happened. I cry because I'm an emotional, pregnant teenager that just went through a breakup. I just cry.

I wake up from the vibrating of my phone. The phone is vibrating directly under to my cheek. How the hell did it end up there?

I open one eye and I see that I'm still on the floor. I feel that I'm a little stiff as I reach for my phone.

I have 35 messages from different numbers.

~

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Fuck.

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