Theo missed school the next day too. I'd been texting him, but that was all the contact we'd had. The day after that, he only attended his afternoon lessons. On Friday, he came in for the whole day. He'd been absent at work too, retreating to the comforts of his own bedroom each day. His family weren't pushing him, it seemed they knew to slacken the rules around him whenever he was experiencing one of his episodes.

I wasn't sure how long it would last, but I hoped it would be over soon. Even his messages sounded sad. But at least he was taking it easy; napping constantly, dismissing his job and abandoning his schoolwork. I knew he'd push himself too far the second he was feeling better, trying to make up for his break. But, for now, he was doing okay.

I hadn't seen him much at school since he had been back, I'd merely passed him in the corridors and given him wholehearted smiles, earning a shy flash of joy in return. I was going over to his house tonight. We'd talked about it earlier in the week, but I wasn't sure he remembered. Either way, I needed to see him.

Just as I was finally leaving school after a long day of lessons, someone grabbed my wrist and pulled me back. I knew who it was immediately, drawing a sigh from between my lips. "What d'you want?" I drawled lazily, turning around to face Tommy's amber eyes, watching me curiously. I'd been avoiding my friends all week, sticking to the library in an attempt to get ahead on my homework. That was extremely unlike me, but I didn't care.

"Can we talk?"

"About?" I folded my arms over my chest confrontationally.

"You." He answered plainly. "Please?"

I let out a dramatically extended sigh and jerked my head in the direction of the car park. He followed me down the corridor, out of school and into my car. Once we were seated beside each other, I turned to face him, "What?" I asked gruffly.

"Were you just really desperate and there wasn't a girl around? Is that why you let him give you a blowjob?" He asked instantly, the words gushing out of his mouth so fast, they began tumbling over each other.

"No." I shot back bluntly. It would be easy to agree with him, deny that there was anything going on between Theo and I, but I was getting sick of lying. I wasn't ashamed, I wasn't scared of the truth anymore.

Tommy frowned, "So, like...you're...you're into it?"

"It?" I rose my brows quizzically.

"Boys." He whispered as if it was some massive secret - which, technically, it was. "Sex with boys."

"We haven't had sex yet." I said simply. "But yeah, I'd like to."

He was staring at me, completely dumbfounded, like I'd just grown a second head. "So, you two are like...like what you and Sam used to be?"

"No." I shook my head. "With Sam it was friends with benefits. Theo's my boyfriend."

If he didn't look utterly lost before, now he was completely puzzled. His face fell expressionless, his brows knitting together into a tight frown. "Your...your boyfriend?" He repeated. "You're gay?"

"Not gay." I corrected. "Apparently not straight either, but not gay."

"Bi?"

"I don't know, maybe."

"So...?"

"Does it matter?" I snapped. "I'm happy, Tommy."

"Do you love him?"

"I will." I assured him firmly. "I'm getting there."

He slumped back in his seat, his shoulders slackening as he stared blankly across the car park, watching cars rolling out of the lot and students milling about, wishing their friends a good weekend. "So, can we meet him? Like, properly?"

"Maybe." I mused. "But I don't know. He's kinda shy and after that first impression..." I trailed off, fiddling with my thumbs. "He's going through a rough patch at the moment, but when he's feeling up to it, I'll talk to him."

He nodded absentmindedly, toying with the loose seatbelt beside him, "And...your old school? The fire?"

"Talk to Daya." I instructed. "She knows. That fucker knows everything." I sighed, "Look, Tommy, I've gotta go."

He appeared ready to protest before his shoulders slumped in defeat and he nodded. After shooting me one last weak smile, he left the car.

I twisted the radio onto full volume as I drove out of school, stopping off at my house briefly before making my way over to Theo's. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I braced myself for the worse. He wasn't going to be in a good state. I knew that much. It turned out my prediction was correct; he looked like shit.

He was stood on the other side of the door, drowning in an oversized cotton jumper, a pair of loose pyjama trousers hanging from his waist. His once sparkling eyes were now dull and haunted with tired circles. His skin was pale, his face was hollowed, his hair was scruffier than I'd ever seen it, his dark roots creeping up on his platinum hair. "L-Luca...?" He rubbed his eyes in exhaustion as he analysed my appearance.

I smiled encouragingly, "Yeah. Hi."

"Oh my god, I-I completely forgot we were hanging out today." He sounded embarrassed, like he was irritated with himself for forgetting. "I-I'm so sorry."

"Hey, don't worry about it." I instructed him softly, waving it off, "Are you okay?"

He shrugged, "Y-Yeah, I mean...I guess." He lied, "D'you wanna come in?"

"Sure, if that's alright." I smiled again as I passed him, entering the cluttered house, "How'd you get home so fast?"

"I-I skipped last period." He admitted bashfully, scratching the back of his neck as he led me through to the living room, "I'm sorry, Luca...I don't think I'm up to d-doing much right now. Can we just like...watch a film or something?" He asked with a hopeful gleam in his eyes. It saddened me that he felt so guilty to request such a thing when he was clearly feeling weak. Delicate. Fragile.

I rolled my eyes, smiling at his adorableness, "Anyone home?"

"N-No."

I pulled him forward, pecking his cheek before gently pushing him down onto the sofa. "Of course, Theo." I agreed, unzipping my backpack before plucking out a big slab of chocolate, "Your favourite, right?" I asked, handing it to him.

He took it tentatively, his eyes darting between my face and the wrapped chocolate in front of him, "Y-Yeah." He whispered in confusion.

"I brought a shitty comedy film for us to watch as well." I continued, pulling a DVD from the bag. "It's probably awful, but I thought I better make it up to you...after that horror film and all."

He was still staring at me, like I was the first human being to ever show him kindness. "Y-You already made it up to me." He murmured, more to himself than me.

I dismissed his comment, digging into my backpack one last time, "And I got you this." I chuckled, "I didn't know what your favourite animal was, so I thought it'd be a safe bet." I shrugged, throwing the stuffed toy snake into his lap, "Check it out, it's a California King Snake too."

It was a blur, but in a flash, he'd leapt up and flung his arms around me. The things I'd bought him fell to the ground as he hugged me tightly, his face buried into the crook of my neck as I hesitantly wrapped my arms around his small frame. He pulled back after a moment, still clinging to my shoulders as he pulled me in for a chaste kiss. "Thank you." He whispered quietly. "You're s-seriously the best."

I grinned down at him, "I know." I teased before breaking away to set the movie up. Once I'd shut all the curtains, turned off all the lights and secured total darkness around us, I joined him on the sofa. I draped a blanket around the pair of us as Theo curled up at my side, his head resting on my shoulder.

After about half an hour of cheap jokes and a shallow storyline, I took his hand in mine, but he yanked it away immediately. I turned to face him, only to find him trembling. "Theo?" I frowned, "Everything okay?"

He nodded, gulping as he bit his lower lip. He was tense as he slid his fingers through mine to try and assure me. I forced myself to relax, ignoring his reaction as we both turned back to the movie. I ran my thumb over the back of his hand to try and soothe him, slipping it up his sleeve slowly. Then I felt it. A thick, rough bandage wrapped around his wrist.

I pulled my hand away, grabbing the remote to pause the trashy movie. "What happened?" I asked stonily, grabbing his arm and dragging it towards me, yanking his sleeve up.

"D-Don't." He chocked out, trying to pull away from my grip, but it was too tight. "Luca, y-you're hurting me." He squirmed.

I hastily released him as his eyes filled with tears, blurring his green orbs, "What happened?" I repeated, trying to steady my voice and not let my anxiety creep through.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, wiping his wet cheeks. "I'm sorry, I...I didn't...it was an accident, I swear...I-I was almost three months c-clean and I j-just...I just...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry-"

"You did this to yourself?" I demanded sharply. He was the image of misery, curling in on himself as he sobbed silently, brushing the tears away in frustration. "Theo, answer me."

"I-I'm sorry...I'm so sorry, I...I didn't...I'm sorry, I-"

"Stop apologising." I growled, gripping his shoulders urgently.

"S-Sorry." He squeaked out nervously.

"Theo, you did this?" I questioned plainly, my expression cold and unreadable, my voice strong and firm.

"Y-Yes." He mumbled.

"Have you done this before?"

He pulled his eyes up to meet mine. My hold on his shoulders was tightening - he had no escape. "Y-Yes."

"How often?"

"O-Only when...w-when..."

"During one of these episodes?" I supplied, attempting to help him out as it was clear he was struggling to stay afloat.

"Y-Yeah."

"Does anyone know you do this?"

"M-Milo."

"Just Milo?"

"And y-you."

I smiled sadly at my crying boyfriend, tracing his warm cheek with my fingertip, trying to brush aside his salty tears. "Okay." I whispered, "Okay." I pulled him onto my chest, letting him lose control and cry all over me, his body shaking and vibrating with nerves. "It's alright." I comforted, "It's alright, it's gonna be fine." I planted my lips on the top of his head, inhaling the smell of laundry detergent on his clothes as I cradled him, pulling him closer to my chest.