Mrs. Rogers eyes me with curiosity when I come back late into my office after lunchtime.

It's unusual that I didn't come back to work on time -- she even had to cancel one meeting for me because I was late for two hours. And I wasn't with Nevaeh.

I close the door behind me and lock it. This time, I want to be alone. I don't want someone barging into my office to discuss work. I need some time to digest what I just did.

After flopping myself on the couch, I sigh. I close my eyes, raking my fingers through my hair. A few moments of silence pass before I slip my hand into my pants pocket and take out the small box I just got today.

I open the box and stare at the thing I just bought for Nevaeh.

The ring.

Yes, I just bought a diamond ring for her. Not just any ring, but one that will make her mine forever.

After the tragedy that happened on my wedding day two years ago, one would think that I might not want to propose to any woman anymore. But it's different now.

I can't imagine my life without Nevaeh. Having her forever by my side is a need, an urgency. I want to get rid of this fear of losing her that has been haunting my mind.

I'm fucking scared that she will be gone, ripped from me at any moment. I need to ensure that both of us will have each other for the rest of our lives. No more fear. No more doubts.

I'm going to ask Nevaeh to be my wife.

I know that Nevaeh is still in college, and it's not like her father wouldn't kill me. But I'll handle it. It's not something that will stop me.

There's just one thing that still makes me restless, and I know that I have to take care of it. One thing is still stuck in my head for these past two years. I won't be able to completely trust myself and the person I want to be with until I find the answer.

I don't want this insecurity to ruin what I have with Nevaeh. But how am I going to do it?

The thought of facing that darkness again to get rid of it for good makes me nauseous. I need to prepare myself before doing that.

I close the little box and lean back against the couch. I plan to propose to Nevaeh on my birthday. If she asked me what I want for my birthday, I wouldn't ask for anything but her.

Maybe she will grant me one wish, and that's when I pop the question. Would that be called cheating?

I laugh at myself, covering my eyes with my arm as I throw my head back.

Oh, God, I'm fucking crazy.

I chuckle, shaking my head as I turn on the TV. I think I'm losing my mind because of her. Maybe watching the news and getting back to work will bring back my sanity.

I stand up from the couch, putting the little box back into my pants pocket. The newscaster's voice echoes in my office room as I walk toward my desk. Just when I take a seat and open my laptop, something catches my ear.

"Roman Alvarez, son of property businessman Daniel Alvarez, has just been spotted in LA airport with his wife, Olivia, after two years of disappearance. Roman is expected to be back in charge of the business deals his father is currently working on, focusing on the domestic market since the great loss the company has suffered after losing several overseas assets."

I freeze. My eyes are glued to the TV while my mind is still trying to comprehend what's happening.

"After the tragedy that had happened to what was supposed to be the biggest wedding of the year two years ago, the sight of Roman and Olivia Alvarez back in the country has raised curiosity among the witnesses. Whether or not this will affect the business plan for Klein Enterprise..."

I can hardly hear the rest of the sentence because of the shock consuming me from seeing the video displayed on the TV. There before me, I see Roman walking out of the airport arrival gate, followed by Olivia.

My eyes widen as I watch the woman I used to love come back. She and Roman walk hand in hand, ignoring the paparazzi that always roam around in LA.

I ball my fist on my desk, feeling the betrayal attacking me again. Watching them again after all these years reminds me of how fucked up I am.

I'm trying so hard to compose myself, to not be the emotional trainwreck that I am.

What the fuck?

Why?

How?

Just when I think that I can settle down with Nevaeh, my past haunts me again. Is the universe working against us?

I shake my head in denial. My jaw tightens.

No, this is meant to be. I know that I have to face my past, my biggest fear.

It's the perfect timing, isn't it? I need to overcome this before starting a new beginning with Nevaeh, a beginning for my happy ending with her.

I don't want to make the same mistake. I need to know the answer to the question I've been thinking about during my darkest times.

I need to see them again, and fate has just answered me.

"I disagree," is the first sentence that comes out of Ashton's mouth after hearing my plan. "Absolutely no."

I lean back against my desk, watching Ashton's reaction as I cross my arms over my chest.

He's dead serious. His disapproval is very obvious I can even feel the anger radiating from his body.

"Why the hell would you want to meet them again?" he asks. "They should be nowhere within your sight. I'd be glad to kick them out of the country."

I shake my head. "No. I need this. I need to do this."

"For what?" he asks in frustration, throwing his hands in the air. "You don't need anything from them. What you will only get from them is bullshit."

Ashton rarely uses profanity when he talks, but now, his emotions are taking over him.

"For closure," I say calmly.

I've made a decision. I'd never been this sure.

Ashton lets out a sigh of desperation, closing her eyes as he touches the crease of his eyebrows. When he opens his eyes again, he gives me a warning look. "What about Nevaeh?"

"She won't know," I say. "I'll go there tomorrow morning and will be back on the same day. There's nothing she should worry about. I'll make sure that I'll arrive before my birthday so that we can celebrate it together."

"What if it's not going to end well?" Ashton asks again. "What if going there will only make everything worse? What if the answer you've been looking for will only hurt you?"

"They can't hurt me anymore," I say, reminding myself that I have Nevaeh now and it's all that matters. "I don't know what's going to happen, but I'll take a chance. I don't want to spend the rest of my life doubting myself."

"Aiden." Ashton sighs again, looking at me sadly. "You have no reason to doubt yourself. Just be the way you are, just like the way you were before the nightmares haunted you, just like you are now when you're with Nevaeh."

"I can't," I speak through gritted teeth. "I'll always be haunted by this question in my mind. I can't give her my all until I fix this."

Ashton scrutinizes me, studying me.

"Nevaeh deserves more than what I'm giving her," I say firmly. "I can't be the man who will make her happy unless I get rid of this fucking issue." I'm starting to become restless with all these emotions building up inside me.

"Can't you hear yourself?" The way Ashton speaks makes me feel dumb. "You've already fallen. What more do you need to justify that you can love her? You already love her--"

"Don't," I bite out, turning my back at him as I clench my fist on my side. Pain suddenly strikes me. "I don't. I can't."

I don't know the meaning of love. Not anymore.

"You're scared," Ashton says. "You're scared that she's going to leave you like Olivia did. You're scared that your love won't be enough. That's why you didn't want to fall in the first place."

I swallow a lump in my throat. Ashton is adding salt to my wounds. His words are the truth stabbing my soul.

He's right. I'm doing this because I need a justification to love again.

I want to love Nevaeh, and that's why I need to figure out why it wasn't enough, why it didn't work out, why it turned into a disaster. What did I do wrong?

"I need their new address in LA." I turn around. My voice is filled with determination.

Ashton shuts his eyes, throwing his head back. "For God's sake, Aiden--"

"I need this," I say, cutting him off. "I really need to do this."

***