I tell Luna how it happened. I tell her about the incident with security downstairs, about helping Nevaeh out so that she could still stay in Seattle. I tell Luna my intention to protect Nevaeh and how we ended up living together while keeping this secret from her family.

"Is that all?" Luna asks at the end of my story. "Are you sure that there's nothing else you keep away from me?"

I nod, but judging from her expression, my explanation doesn't sound convincing enough.

"Then what about the painting?" Luna looks like she's about to cry. Her question makes me taken aback. "What about it? I saw your painting of her. It was hidden with a cloak, but I found it. You painted her nude. Nude, Aiden. What's that supposed to mean? How could you do that to her?"

Anger, disbelief, and hurt are all mixed in her expression. She stands up from the couch. Her chest heaves up and down as she clenches her fists on her sides.

"You saw that?" My voice comes out like a weak whisper. I'm doomed.

"Just answer me," Luna hisses.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is one of the rare cases where Luna Klein is no doubt furious.

I open my mouth, "Nevaeh and I..."

Luna glares at me, but I'm not losing hope. I know that she'll trust me.

"We are..." the words stick in my throat, and I curse in my heart.

Luna frowns.

"We're more than..." I falter, bracing myself. "We're together," I finally say.

Luna stares at me in shock. "Together?" she echoes. "Like... together?"

The idea of Nevaeh and I being together as a couple seems unbelievable to her. I can see that she's still trying to absorb the truth.

"She means so much to me," I say.

I wait for Luna to say something else, but to my surprise, she cries. She looks down and keeps crying, which makes all the horrible thoughts running through my head.

Oh, God, is she against it?

I'm trying to digest what's happening when Luna finally looks up at me with tears brimming in her eyes.

"I don't know what to say," she whispers. "I just..." She seems to be at a loss for words. "I'm happy for you. For her. For both of you. She's a good person. And she's so nice, and sweet. And... and--"

Luna looks like she's going to burst into tears again.

"You started painting again," she exclaims like it's something surreal. "I was speechless, and confused. But now that you've explained it to me, I feel happy. After all this time..." She wipes a tear under her eye.

Relief washes over me. What happened today almost made me have a heart attack, but I'm now glad that Luna can understand.

She faces me with a proud smile and holds my hands. "I'm so glad that you've finally opened your heart to love someone again."

Her words make me take a step backward. I retreat, making her wonder. This movement surprises me as well. I'm startled by the way I detached myself the moment I heard that word.

"I don't think you can call it that," I say.

This is one of those moments when I feel like I don't know myself anymore. My biggest fear consumes me again.

"I wouldn't want anyone to think that way yet," I say.

Why would Luna think about that word so quickly? I literally told her the story a few minutes ago. Was it that obvious?

The denial inside my chest is killing me. It feels so heavy, so torturous. It makes me want to rip my heart apart.

I've felt this denial many times before, but hearing Luna say it out loud feels like a hard slap across my face.

No, it doesn't even feel like a slap. It feels like a fucking brick thrown at my face.

"What do you mean?" Luna asks cautiously. A frown touches her lips. "Are you saying that you don't love her? But--"

She scrutinizes me, trying to understand me, perhaps expecting to see the brother she knew.

"She made you paint again," she points out, "and you said that she meant so much to you."

"She does," I say, "but I don't know about this feeling. I don't know where I want to take this relationship with her."

My chest tightens as sudden pain strikes my heart. There's something wrong with my sentence, but I choose to ignore it.

"But..." Luna's voice is barely a whisper. I can see the sadness in her eyes.

I sigh. "I just don't want to think about it right now."

"But she--" Luna starts pacing around, worrying about everything. "What if she gets hurt?" She looks at me with a serious expression.

My jaw tightens. "I would never want that. I won't hurt her."

Luna still has doubts all over her expression, but she should know that hurting Nevaeh would pain me.

"But I can't make any promises either," I say truthfully. "I can't even say anything about my relationship with her, because I don't know what it is."

All I'm sure about is that I want to be with Nevaeh. That's a fact I won't deny anymore. But my past and the fear of losing her are hindering me to take any further steps. The idea of love makes me consumed in darkness again every time I think about it.

I'm not ready, and something important is the cause of this. I have to get rid of it, no matter how hard it is.

"I don't know, Aiden." Luna's shoulders sag with disappointment. She's still thinking hard. "You make me really worried. This thing going on between you and Nevaeh...it makes me worried." She lets out a shaky breath before looking up to meet my eyes again. "How am I going to explain this to Max? He wouldn't like this, at all." Her lips tremble.

Even though she doesn't continue her sentence, I know that she doesn't like this either. I've never said that I can give Nevaeh what she deserves.

"It's Nevaeh, Aiden," Luna presses, trying to remind me how important Nevaeh is to all of us.

Goddammit, I know it. I fucking know it.

If Luna could rip my chest open, she would know that Nevaeh is the reason why my heart is still beating with passion, that it hasn't been frozen to death.

"I know," I whisper, hating that my voice sounds vulnerable. "But this isn't easy for me." I swallow a lump in my throat.

Luna's eyes water again as she stares at me. "I know," she cries softly. "Oh God, I know about that. I'm sorry," she whispers brokenly, pulling me into a hug.

We hug each other in silence for a while before I remind her, "You shouldn't tell Max about this."

Those words make her look up at me with fear in her eyes.

"Nevaeh insists," I say.

"You--you asked me to keep a secret from Max?" She sounds like she would rather die. "I can't. I can't do that to him."

"It's not only about me," I say. "It's about Nevaeh. It's the first thing she made me promise when I offered to help her. She doesn't want to leave."

And I don't want Nevaeh to leave, even though I may not be able to give her what she deserves.

I'm selfish, I know. I'm fucking selfish.

Luna covers her mouth with her hand, shutting her eyes as she thinks about Max. I've dragged her into this unintentionally, and this secret may jeopardize her relationship with Max.

"How could you do this?" Her voice breaks.

Lying to Max about this shatters her heart, but I know that Luna also loves me. Deep down inside, she trusts me.

I tighten my hold on her as she cries again. "I'm sorry," I whisper. "I'm sorry, Luna. Thank you. Thank you for trusting me."

I need time. Time to completely let go of my past and figure out what I should do to fix myself. I'm not the same person I was all those years ago, and I don't know if I want to be that person again.

Luna sniffles and tilts her chin up. "Just promise me," she says firmly, hope in her eyes. "Please don't hurt her."

My heart sinks. I can't imagine being that person who will hurt Nevaeh. I can only nod, ignoring the fear inside me.

"And please don't get hurt," she adds as a tear rolls down her cheek.