Nevaeh looks drugged, staring back at me helplessly.

"I need you to do something for me."

She looks so vulnerable. Her eyes are telling me that she'll do what I say.

"Kiss me," I whisper.

Nevaeh obeys. Her hands slightly shake as she cups my face. She kisses me softly, and my emotions are all over the place.

I add another finger inside her, earning another gasp from her. I take that chance to caress her tongue with mine. She responds.

Fuck. Nevaeh is kissing me while allowing me to finger-fuck her. What have I done to experience this kind of pleasure? Did I save a country in my previous life or what?

This kiss, my fingers inside her, and my other hand continuously giving attention to her breast make Nevaeh even more drenched. I can hear the wet sound produced from fingerfucking her. Her walls clench, and I can feel that she's close to her orgasm.

I suddenly pull away, and Nevaeh stares at me with a flushed face. Goddammit. Watching her like this makes me even harder.

I get out of her bed, pull down my jogger pants, and take out a packet of condom from the pocket.

Nevaeh looks away as soon as she sees my dick. A lot of things are probably going inside her head.

I don't want to scare her away with my size, but I can't hide myself. I'm so hard for her.

I sheath myself with the condom and tower her again. Now, I can see the worry crossing her expression.

I peck her lips. "I'll be gentle."

She nods, wrapping her arms around my back. I align my dick at her opening and begin to push. Nevaeh gasps, tightening her hold on me.

I'm breaking her hymen, easing into her, and feeling her tight muscles around me. A curse slips out of my lips because I know that I'm hurting her. Even though she's already wet, this is her first time and she still needs a long way to go to adjust to my size.

I watch as she squeezes her eyes shut and tosses her head. Tears are already rolling down her cheeks.

"Nevaeh," I pant. With my elbows placed on both sides of her head, I'm trying to push without slamming all the way into her. "Look at me."

She does, and my heart breaks as I see her pain.

"This is the only time that I'm hurting you." My voice is shaking. "I'm sorry." Another tear slips from her eye, and I kiss it away. "I promise you." I kiss another tear. "It will only hurt this time. I promise."

After all of my dick is finally inside her, I can't help but groan. It frustrates me because I feel so fucking good but she's in so much pain. "Oh, God." I swear that I almost cry.

I never thought that I'd finally be one with her.

My heart feels like it can explode at any time. Fuck. No. No no no.

My heart.

I shouldn't feel something this powerful for any woman anymore. I'm not ready to face the consequences. How am I going to survive my life without her?

I didn't have sex for two years, and now that I finally am, it dawns on me that the core problem isn't about my physical needs. I don't want to embrace any woman.

"Aiden." Nevaeh's voice sends me back into reality.

Her eyes are filled with worry, and fear. Somehow, I have a feeling that her fear has nothing to do with what I'm doing to her. She fears what I'm feeling.

"Hold me," I say, swallowing my fear. "Just hold me tight, Nevaeh."

She tightens her arms around me while I start moving. I pull out before entering her again. And again. And again.

Her whimpers fill my ears, but I don't stop. This is her wish, for me to take all of her, to feel all of her, to be one with her.

Goddammit. Right now I don't give a damn about anything else. I just want to be with her, to embrace her, to have her in my arms.

Maybe this is only a dream that will shatter one day, but I'll try my best to not ever wake up.

"Don't let go," I command, feeling Nevaeh still clinging around me. Her soft gasps and whimpers are like melodies to my ears. I want to hear her forever. "Keep holding me."

Nevaeh does. She doesn't have any choice. I'm going so deep inside her that the only thing she can do is hold on to me or else she would break.

Fuck. She's all I need.

"You feel that, Heaven?" I ask, pushing into her again. Her nipple brushes against my chest, our bodies slick with sweat. "You feel how deep I am inside you? I'm so deep inside you and I can't fucking stop." I speak through gritted teeth.

I don't know if she understands the double meaning behind my words.

It's too late to pull away.

It's too late to stop.

It's too late to escape these feelings.

I'm already deep.

"Take me," Nevaeh cries softly.

She's crying, but she's still letting me do this. I should do something to make her stop crying. What am I doing?

I'm fucked up. Right here at this moment, I need her more than she needs me.

"Take all of me." Her words sound so vulnerable between her whimpers. "I'm here." She sobs. "I'm all yours."

All mine.

I want to be hers too, but something is hindering me. A part of me wants her to stop this feeling, but another part begs to be hers. I think I'm going crazy.

"Fuck," I curse again. A soft cry leaves my lips. "I promised you--"

It's getting harder to speak. I thrust into her again and again. Nevaeh's legs have been pushed upward to accommodate me while she keeps holding me tight as she promised me.

"I was trying to be gentle, but--" My eyes squeeze shut. The next thing I hear is her whimper again. "I can't. I can't control myself while having you like this. To have you like this--"

God, I need her. I need her so bad.

"It's okay," Nevaeh whispers.

Feeling her warm hands cupping my cheeks, I open my eyes. We're both staring at each other's broken eyes. A gentle smile touches Nevaeh's lips. "I don't want you to hold back."

I kiss her hard, resuming my thrust. "You're my everything." I pant, keeping up my pace. "Everything."

I can feel Nevaeh's hands trembling while holding my back after she hears my words. Maybe I shouldn't have said something like that. Why did I say that sentence?

Am I ready for another heartbreak?

I know that I shouldn't have said those words, but my emotions have taken over me.

My movement becomes sloppier, and Nevaeh is thrashing under me.

"You're squeezing me, Heaven." I clench my jaw.

She feels so damn good. I'm not going to last any longer. I'm going to cum so hard.

I shut my eyes, feeling my balls tighten. "Fuck."

With one last push, I explode inside the condom. I don't think that I'd ever cum this hard before. My heart is hammering against my ribcage.

"Nevaeh." Her name sounds like a desperate cry coming out of my mouth.

I keep cumming, hugging her so tightly in my arms I'm afraid that I'm going to crush her bones.

After I can catch my breath, I look at her and find her staring at me with wonder. She has tears in her eyes, but the look on her face is hopeful.

"How..." she falters, trying to read my expression. "How was it?"

It takes a while for me to digest her question. Here I am, taking her virginity. Yet, the only thing she keeps thinking about is me.

I want to keep her by my side forever and hide her from the rest of the world.

Nevaeh...

My eyes soften as a soft chuckle escapes from me. I kiss her lips softly, caressing her hair as I gaze at her pretty blue skies. "The best thing I've ever felt."