I can't sleep.

The clock on my bedroom wall shows that it's midnight. I've been trying to sleep for the past hour but failed.

I grab my pillow and cover my head with it to the point that it suffocates me. I squeeze my eyes shut, but fuck, I can't stop thinking about Nevaeh.

What happened with her inside my art room yesterday was beyond my control, and it makes my heart so chaotic that I feel like I'm going crazy.

I can't believe that we did that. I can't believe that I did that to her.

Now, every time I see her, I feel like pulling her close to me. It's like I have no control over my emotions anymore. I can't even hide my feelings anymore.

I feel so much joy and fear -- I don't even know which one to believe.

But now as I'm lying down here on my bed, when the night is getting too quiet, the fear is bigger. It's eating me out alive.

I need Nevaeh. I need her here with me.

Everything feels like a dream that can turn into a nightmare in a blink of an eye. I need her in my arms to ease this worry, to make my pain go away.

Please tell me that this isn't a part of my nightmare. Please tell me that you're real, that this happiness is not going away.

I sit up on my bed. My chest heaves up and down. This is insane. Even though I can feel again, I'm still very much a sick person. Maybe I really should go to Mr. Bennett again.

I take my phone from my nightstand. I don't know whether she's asleep or not, but I don't want to wake her up if she is.

I shouldn't just go to her room. A text won't do any harm, will it?

The answer doesn't come, and I sigh. I rake my fingers through my hair.

What am I doing?

I'm acting like a kid. Goddammit, just take a fucking sleeping pill.

My phone beeps, startling me.

I stare at my phone screen. I don't know how to answer her.

I'm thinking about you.

My lack of answers makes Nevaeh type something. Her next words pop up.

Another sigh leaves my lips. Nevaeh already knows.

She saw me having a nightmare once.

I lean back against the headboard, waiting for her reply again. I wait, but she doesn't respond.

I wait again for about ten minutes, but she still doesn't text back. There's nothing to reply to, anyway.

It wasn't even a question.

Still, my heart sinks. I hate how vulnerable I've become when it comes to her, and I hate that she knows it.

Nevaeh might have just fallen asleep, and I'm selfish that I want her here with me.

A knock on my bedroom door snaps me out of my thought. "Aiden?"

For fuck's sake. It's Nevaeh's voice.

She's here? She's coming to me?

I'm still in a daze that I don't even respond. Nevaeh knocks on the door again, and that's when I finally say, "Come in." My voice is hoarse.

Nevaeh opens the door, standing there with a cup in her hand. "Hot chocolate?"

My heart skips a beat.

I didn't expect that she would make hot chocolate for me.

I watch as she walks toward me and sits on the bed.

She smiles softly, handing me the drink. "I've thought that it might make you feel better and have a good rest."

If I were a dog, my tail would be wagging because of joy.

I take the cup, sip the hot chocolate, and sigh in satisfaction. Hot chocolate has always been my comfort drink, but hers tastes different. I can't even describe the contentment I feel when the warmth sips through my insides. I don't think that any other hot chocolate would be able to have the same effect anymore.

I put the cup on my nightstand and smile. I pull her closer to me, leaning back against the headboard again. That movement seems to surprise her, but she doesn't object and rests her head on my chest instead.

I wrap my arm around her and plant a soft kiss on the top of her head. "Thank you."

Nevaeh blushes, definitely still being all shy next to me.

Just like I thought, I can't control myself anymore when I'm around her. I just want to hold her. Denying her makes me suffer, but being with her is equally painful. There's this fear inside me that all of this isn't real.

None of us says anything. We're just sitting here on my bed, in each other's embrace. I can do this the whole night, but I don't know about her.

Would she be comfortable cuddling with me all night long?

Maybe if I could make her enjoy being here in my room, she would be.

"Are you up for another movie time?" I ask.

Nevaeh chuckles lightly. "Yeah."

I hand the remote to her and, just like before, let her pick the movie.

We've been watching the movie for two hours. I find myself drawn to her more than the movie. It's like every reaction from her is precious.

She laughs, frowns, cowers, gets teary-eyed, and laughs again. It's kind of amusing. I don't think that I'll ever get bored watching her.

Nevaeh sighs dreamily while the movie is approaching the end. The couple finally reunites again, and Nevaeh looks satisfied with the ending.

"I've always dreamt of a love story with a happy ending like that." She smiles. Her eyes are still glued to the TV.

"Do you believe that?" I whisper.

She looks at me and nods. Another sweet smile creeps on her lips. "Yeah, I do." When she returns her attention to the screen again, she adds, "Just like my parents. They have the happy ending they wanted. It's beautiful, isn't it? They'll have each other for the rest of their lives."

I tighten my hold on her. "My parents too." My mind wanders to the past.

I'd witnessed my parents' love story. It was full of ups and downs. There was a tragedy, one that would never be forgotten by the three of us. It hurt us to the core, but in the end, we were together.

My parents are each other's true love.

But then, a frown touches my lips. I remember feeling that kind of love, one that I thought was true but in fact, it wasn't.

I loved a woman with all my heart to the point that I thought that she was my soulmate. I felt an undeniable connection with her, it was impossible that she wasn't feeling the same way.

But I was wrong.

True love doesn't happen to everyone. It's rare.

In fact, many people end up with someone who hurts them the most, betrays them, and leaves them. It's not a problem that can be argued over and then forgotten in a few weeks or a few months after a huge fight. It's the kind of pain that will leave a permanent hole in your chest.

Some people are not entitled to a happy ending.

I was one of them.

I believed in one, and it was my greatest mistake. My love for her had turned me blind that I couldn't even sense what was happening to us. I didn't realize what happened between her and him. What she felt. How he felt.

I was blind. I believed in something that wasn't real. I was chasing a happy ending that was never there for me.

"Aiden?" Nevaeh's voice pulls me back into reality.

I stare at her, only to find the worried look on her face.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

I shake my head. My gaze darts back to the TV. "Nothing."

Nevaeh doesn't ask me more questions, but when I look at her, she's in deep thought. She frowns. It seems that she wants to ask me something but then zips her mouth. I see the sadness glinting in her eyes.

I look away, thinking about the one thing that keeps going in my head.

A happy ending does happen to some people, but it's definitely not for me.