Work has always been able to take my mind off. Just like tonight, I'm going through reports and plans to expand the business when I realize that I've been working for hours.

I can't say that what I'm doing is healthy.

The food tray lying on the table at the corner of the room makes me sigh. I haven't even touched the dinner that Ian has brought into my office. I have no appetite for that even though I haven't eaten anything since lunchtime.

A knock on the door makes me look up from the document I'm reviewing. "Come in," I say.

To my surprise, Nevaeh appears at the door. This is the second time that she comes here while I'm working.

"I'm sorry," she says in a small voice. "I don't mean to disturb you. I just want to go through the books again. Please don't bother and continue whatever you're doing." When I don't say anything, she adds rather reluctantly, "I mean, can I?"

"Of course," I say, and she closes the door behind her.

I watch as she walks toward the bookshelves and scans the titles of the books.

When I avert my eyes to my computer, what happened yesterday crosses my mind again. It has only been a day since I found her earring.

My gaze darts on her again. She squints at the books stored on the upper shelf. Her expression is a mixture of confusion and indecisiveness.

The idea of helping her to find the book strikes my mind, just like what happened before. But this time, I'm trying to shake it off.

I don't know why, but after what happened yesterday, my mind refuses to acknowledge her. Besides, I have an urgent e-mail to send right now.

I straighten my back and feel the muscles on my neck move as I swallow. Why the hell am I swallowing?

I suddenly feel restless, and my mind goes blank. I don't even remember the last paragraph I read just now, as though I'm forced to be aware of something else.

My eyes return to Nevaeh, who is now biting her lower lip. She taps her chin with her finger, like she's deep in thought.

I tear my gaze away from her again and look at the paper in my hand but fail to focus on what I'm reading.

What the hell? I've never gotten distracted while working.

I didn't even pay any attention to what Ian said to me when he brought the dinner because I was thinking about signing this contract in my hand, so why does my mind seem to ignore it now?

I take a deep breath to calm down, and this is even more bizarre. Why do I have to calm myself down?

It's not like I'm nervous.

I can feel my pulse quicken, and confusion stirs me even more.

I have no reason to be nervous. The amount of caffeine I drank tonight isn't supposed to affect my heart rate either, just like any other night. This strange condition makes me irritated.

The moment my eyes lay on Nevaeh again, I stand up. I figure that this has to be about helping Nevaeh. I can't concentrate on my work unless I help her first.

"Do you need any help?" the question comes out of my mouth as soon as I arrive at her side.

Nevaeh turns to look at me, her eyes filled with surprise and guilt. "Um...it's just..." she falters before her gaze darts on the books on the upper shelf again. "I feel like I've found what books I'm looking for, but I can't choose which one to read."

I scan the books on the upper shelf too. They're too high for her. She definitely can't reach them to see the descriptions.

Nevaeh looks around the room. "If only I can get the stairs..."

I have to ask someone in this house where they keep it -- we've never used it.

Nevaeh wants to choose the book herself, but taking each book out of the top shelf would be too much of a hassle.

I bend down, surprising her. "You can sit on my shoulders and get a better look."

Silence falls.

"What? Are you sure? I mean--" she stumbles upon her words, "I don't think that's a good idea. I don't want to hurt your shoulders."

That sentence makes me want to laugh. She can't possibly think that she would hurt my shoulders. I'm sure that my weightlifting activities in the gym require more strength than this easy task.

"Come on. That won't be a problem."

She goes silent again for a while, but then I feel her hands on my shoulders. "I'm really, really sorry." Guilt is laced in her voice.

Her touch triggers something in me, but I ignore it, allowing her to place her thighs on my shoulders. I stand on my feet, and that makes her eye level with the books on the top shelf.

Light as a feather.

The moment she can see clearly the books in front of her eyes, she seems to forget about her worry. She pulls a book out and reads the description before shifting to the next book.

Now that she sits on my shoulders, and since she's wearing pretty damn short shorts, I can't help but think about her bare thighs around my neck.

The feeling of her soft skin on my hands is something that I can't ignore either. I would be lying if I said that this doesn't make me feel tense.

The word 'tense' can't even describe what I'm feeling right now. My chest tightens because of the wild thought in my mind, and I'm trying my best to hide this from her.

The more I can't control my mind, the more I become restless. The scent of her sweet perfume doesn't help.

Nevaeh reaches out her hand again to pick another book, and that's when I get a glimpse of what's inside her sweater.

Fuck.

I avert my eyes down, involuntary clearing my throat and grasping her thighs in an attempt to pull myself together. The sudden movement makes Nevaeh almost lose her balance, while it only makes me hold her thighs firmer to prevent her from falling.

She yelps. "Sorry. I know I'm heavy," she says with shame, having no idea that it has nothing to do with that. "I'm almost done. Just a little longer."

Finally, she snatches the chosen book, and her voice is filled with urgency when she says, "I've found it. You can put me down."

Reluctantly, I put her down on the ground, and she sighs in relief. Her face is red due to embarrassment.

"Thank you for your help. I really appreciate it. I'm sorry that I bothered you. You can continue your work again." With that said, she totters and exits the room, closing the door behind her.

Meanwhile, here I am, staring blankly at it and trying to digest what just happened.

I rake my fingers through my hair and sigh, fully aware that my heart has been beating faster since she came into the room.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I was nervous. I was fucking nervous around her.

I shouldn't have been so.

I must have been worried that she would fall. Right. That's the explanation. That's why I was holding her more firmly.

But then, when I stride back toward my desk, a voice speaks in my head.

It's telling me that I was wrong.

That there's something I can't answer.

***

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