any chance you're taking sugar baby

applications?

um, helga? irma? mildred?

mike hunt of mike hawk?

sofa king? alpha kenny body?

Ben Dover?

i know you are but what am i?

because i'm cautious.

you could easily not be this

wilbur soot guy. and if i were

to be murdered/kidnapped,

i would want to be kidnapped

by dylan obrien and saved by

spencer reid.

The girl was typing her response when her phone reflected herself and a name blinked at the top of the screen that read making a sense of panic set off in her.

Please don't be an old man, please. She thought as she tapped the answer button and faced the camera towards the ceiling.

"Hello?" A scratchy english accent said. The girl looked to the face on the camera and smiled warmly. Well, he's not an old man and catfishing her.

"Hi" She peeped out. He gave a small laugh, examining the phone and her ceiling fan. "Why the fuck are you being shy? You literally cuss me out on text everyday."

The girl rolled her eyes and showed her face on camera. "Well, you definitely look like an Alfred." He started to laugh, but stopped when he saw her face through the phone. He squinted his eyes and and studied the girls face. "Hm." is all he said.

"Hm? That's it? You have such ways with words Alfie. You're making me all giddy. I recommend writing poetry."

"Ah, there she is. I wouldn't have guessed you were brunette, I thought definitely blonde."

The girl felt a slight blush rush to her cheeks and decided to take a moment to study him. He had curly chocolate hair that rested against his forehead with a beanie tucked over it. "You need a haircut."

"And you need makeup."

She hit her head against her hand and mumbled a few words. "Love is real. That's all I can say."

They talked for a few minutes about anything that came to their dumb ass minds, but eventually ended the call because the boy had to stream.

i would much rather drop dead

be right there

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU

HAVE 200k VIEWERS??

LOOK AT YOUR PHONE

YOU DUMB FUCK.

WILBUR SOOT

ALFRED

The girl watched the boy play something called the dream smp with a cute character with the name 'Tubbo_' above it and another character with the name 'tommyinnit' above it. Wilbur was laughing along with something Tommy said and banging on the desk beside him.

She couldn't help but look behind him, around the room. He had a simple clock that surprisingly lit up while he talked and nothing else.

He started laughing once again, which was quite contagious. She barely even noticed when the group of boys started to talk about her.

"WILBUR, HOW'S JENNIFER??" Tommy screeched. Wilbur's face went blank while the others laughed insanely. "She's actually Mildred now, Tommy. Thanks for asking. We just ftmed a few minutes ago, she called me ugly and told me I need a haircut."

Tommy laughed loud and punched him inside the game. "She sounds like a real woman, I like her already."

She smiled ear-to-ear, happy they were even talking about her. "I think she might be in the stream right now actually." Wilbur picked up his phone, grinning at her obnoxious texts and began to type something back.

stop calling me names

but yes, you look like an idiot.

tell tubbo i love him and tell

tommy he's alot funnier than you.

Wilbur couldn't stop smiling, making the chats go mental. Asking about the girl.

"Stop simping Wil."

His face dropped again and killed Tommy in two swings of his diamond and enchanted sword. "Tubbo, she said she's only here for you and Tommy, she said you aren't funny." She heard Tubbo let out a little giggle and grinned, locating the subscribe button and pressing on it.

$6 for one coin?? Jesus. She thought, but pressed it anyways and typed a message, so it would show up on Wilbur's screen.

tommy, i never said that, i think you're very very funny and i quote "are funnier than alfred." and tubbo, i did say that. i love you.

Wilbur hesitantly read it out loud and the two younger boy's laughed when he finished. The rest of the stream was the exact same, little jokes with over dramatic laughter that the girl unexpectedly joined in. Wilbur did his normal end stream routine and instantly texted the girl that had been on his mind this whole stream.

i'm sorry?

are you mansplaining me?

because i will castrate you

while you're asleep.

isn't it like 3 a.m. there?

stop😃, i just looked up time

difference from new york to england.

😲hypocrite

to remind you, i'm in new york

can't really watch a move, dummie

yea, hm. i wonder why.

do you need me to say it again?

okay fine, when you say it like that😩

Wilbur smiled at his own words. 'I'm obsessed with you.' Despite not knowing the girls name and only knowing her for a few weeks, she was becoming his new favorite obsession.