what?

hop on what? your dick??

no mystery man,

i'm not a tommy. maybe

i know him though?

no sir, i do not. oh but

i wish i did. it chewsday innit?

you want to have some crumpets? xx

you're british? of course

you're british no one says 'mockery'.

now that just makes you more

appealing. fancy a cup of tea, love?

no no, hey you texted me,

i should be the one blocking you.

so who is this tommy fellow?

your long lost lover?? omg I can

see it now. you've been besties for

years then all of a sudden it turned

into more then a friendship,

but it was too late. you're married

and have kids, hating your

life so much you have gray hair

at 35 and poor tommy is

heartbroken crying in the corner.

that's heartbreaking

BLOODY HELL? that's the most

british thing you could've said, babes.

you didn't deny though😳

did you know that's illegal?

let me just ss💃

okay gramps.

how'd you get my number?

omg, #fate!! dear beloved alfred,

take my hand in marriage?

yes it's the most british

name i could think of.

is it not alfred?

the girl of your dreams🥰

jennifer? really?

lmao true. jennifer's are so

dodgy, yk what i mean?😉😉

oh please, dear god. my love,

alfred don't leave me like you left tommy.

speaking of that old wanker,

what did tommy need to hop on?

🤏🏻

is that your package size?

because i would not be surprised, al.

😐

WHAT DID TOMMY NEED TO HOP ON??

🏃‍♀️🧍‍♀️

sorry this message could not be sent because the person you're trying to reach isn't a loser.

minecraft? i see why tommy left

did you just- you just admited it.

fbi agent, you caught that??

hey fuck off, i'm a complete grownup.

I can drink and everything. the whole spiel.

as taylor likes to say, "22"

hm. british minecraft player?

what a complete total hottie.

man of my dreams☺️

you play minecraft.

you can't say anything

oopsie, gotta go. my roomies

home. bye bye alfie.

read 9:32

Twitter

@WilburSoot • 2m •••

Hey everyone, don't text the wrong number or you'll

be harassed for being british and playing minecraft.

*2 screenshots*

💬 6.2k 🔄 7.2k 🤍 271.3k

@tommyinnit • 1m •••

Why was I most of the conversation??

💬 726 🔄 497 🤍 101.3k

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@TubboLive • 33 sec •••

You're always most of the conversation.

💬 333 🔄 282 🤍 78.7k

@dream • 10 sec •••

Don't hate the game, hate the player😔

💬910 🔄493 🤍98.8k

a/n

short first chapter, sorry😔 tell me what you think. also inspo for this story is called area codes. so good and would die for the author😌.