《Dear, JJ | JJ Maybank》27. i got a text!
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i got a text!
Otto officially loathed being pregnant. She never really liked it, she felt like shit at the beginning, and then she was annoyed that she couldn't drink and now she felt like shit again, and her back hurt.
As Otto picked up JJ from the Chateau - the Twinkie broke down - he seemed like he was in a good mood.
"Aren't you chirpy." She grumbled, running low on sleep, another reason she hated being pregnant. And she needed to pee. All. The. Fucking. Time.
He shut the door and looked over at Otto, "You all good?"
She glanced over at him, giving him a glare, "I'm miserable. I hate being pregnant, it's overrated."
The next words that came out of JJ's mouth were monumentally stupid.
"You've only got a few months left."
Otto slammed the breaks on, the roads were always desolate so there was no way it would cause an accident.
His words were meant to be encouraging, but the look on Otto's face was anything but encouraged. He really wasn't good at words.
"How would like it if I strapped a watermelon onto your stomach, made you need to pee every five God damn seconds and gave you max three hours of sleep? Would two months go by in a flash?"
She raised a good point, that didn't seem all that fun.
"Now you put it like that I see where I went wrong." He cringed.
When they got to school and out of the car they walked through the halls, passing time until the bell run. This was the first time JJ had walked the halls next to Otto, he hadn't realised how many people stared.
It was like they were Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez.
The stares he got on the first day of school after the gold hunt weren't nearly as bad as this.
Otto noticed more people stared than usual, she decided it was probably because it wasn't just one teen parent but two.
JJ stuck by her for the entire day, every class they shared he was near her. He hadn't realised how much he cherished her company until he didn't have it anymore, now he vowed to spend as much time with her as he could.
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As much as she'd deny it Otto didn't mind him borderline stalking her. Even if she did make the occasional comment about getting a restraining order.
While JJ was at the bathroom the rest of the group sat at the lunch table, Belly sat next to Otto as they hadn't seen each other in a while.
She was excited that her maternal grandparent were coming over from Korea to see her for the first time in years, she gleefully told Otto all about them.
Otto actually cared about what she had to say, which was rare.
Once JJ was back the conversation turned toward college, after all they were seniors.
It was her dream since she was a child to attend UCLA, she trained gymnasts for just about her entire childhood and into her early teenage years. But then she broke a vertebrae in her back and the doctors told her that it was no longer safe.
She was heartbroken, but it was still her dream.
JJ talked about him getting into Harvard, how they would love his rags to riches story. They had to give it to him, he was highly amusing.
Otto's phone buzzed and she looked down at the notification.
Even before she unlocked her phone she knew what it was about.
Come home as soon as you can.
She felt like she needed to throw up, her stomach sunk so low in her body and all the blood drained from her face. She didn't say a thing as she stood up, the group asked her questions but she couldn't even process them.
She needed to get home.
Over the past two weeks her father's health had begun to decline rapidly, she tried to ignore it. Their usual board games became harder and harder for him, despite him trying his best to continue playing. He couldn't move on his own and he'd stopped eating.
They all knew what was happening, it was right in front of her face but she wouldn't look at it.
Otto just wanted him to meet his grandchild.
But they all knew that was never going to happen. He wouldn't be able to hold on that long, no matter how hard he tried. And he did try, so damn hard. But there comes a point were staying does more harm than good.
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She wanted to stay home, watch TV and play board games with him, but everyday he forced her to go to school.
Now she fucking hated herself for going.
JJ got up and followed her, he asked her a million times what was wrong until he finally put two and two together.
There wasn't really much else it could be.
When she fished the keys to her car out her pocket JJ snatched them from her, when she tried pulling them back he told her calmly she wasn't okay to drive and that he'd drive her.
She didn't really care how she got home just that she got there, quickly.
He drove as fast and as safely possible
Otto didn't even wait for the car to fully stop as she swung open the door and left her bag im the cat, she ran through the door and tore up the stairs.
The door to her parent's room was open, Laura stood there, she wasn't crying. Right now she needed to make sure Otto would be okay, she needed to be there for her.
She stopped in her tracks when she saw him, laying so peacefully on the bed.
For a few seconds she really thought he'd sit up and tell her it was all just a fucked up joke.
But he didn't. He wasn't going to.
Otto could no longer fein ignorance.
The truth was standing right in front of her, forcing her to look at it. The hurt was so much worse because of her denial, her refusal to accept her father really was dying.
Laura watched her stare for what felt like hours before she broke down, she couldn't keep a brave face. Not for something like this, she hadn't realised her knees crumbled until they hit the carpeted floor. Her chest felt like it had been ripped open, like her heart was snatched away from her body. It felt like she couldn't breathe. She honestly felt like she was going to die.
You couldn't hurt this bad and survive.
JJ wasn't really sure what to do, but when he heard screaming he didn't even think before he rushed up the stairs.
He found the room and saw Otto on the floor, so broken and helpless made him feel feel helpless as well.
Laura was crouched next to Otto but when she saw JJ she motioned for him to take over, "Get her to her room." She told him gently.
Even with instructions he didn't know what to do, how to go about it. He wasn't good at feelings, that much was certain. But now he had to be so delicate, he had so much pressure on him to do the right thing. Laura gave JJ brief instructions on where Otto's room was and he picked her up and walked toward her room.
He opened the door and walked toward her bed, sitting her down on it, when he went to stand up she grabbed ahold of his shirt, her grip so tight it was like the shirt was a lifeline.
Her dad was dead.
He'd had cancer for her entire life, the majority of her childhood he flip flopped between actively having cancer and being in remission.
But this time he didn't want to endure what chemotherapy and radiation did to his body, he couldn't do it anymore. He'd had enough. He was done.
Otto grew up with the weight if her father's illness hanging above her head, at any point it was going to fall down and ruin her. But she chose the easy route, she ignored it.
She didn't prepare herself for his death, so it felt so sudden.
Like he'd died in a car accident or some freak accident.
Like he hadn't been dying for almost eighteen years.
•
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