I can feel the tears

But they are not on my face

Warm and salty burning old wounds

Scars that have left no trace

You would never know from my face

As I smile and nod

Forced wrinkles around my eyes growing deeper every year

How many joyous lies have I smiled

Can't let anyone see the damage

Barrie that depression

Don't let anyone care or worry

Only these pages know the truth

Ink and tears are what's real

My tears no longer come from my eyes

They migrate down my arm

A sort of onyx dye

Rolling over self inflicted scars

Slipping over broken long healed knuckles

To find my pen

They wither and slither to the tip

And soak these pages

These tears power the pen

When will it end

These pages will only dry

Once someone looks behind my eyes

They would see past my smile full of lies

They would see the pain that stains these words

It is a cancer playing with my mental state

A tumor that has burrowed to my marrow

Un-operable in its severity

Will I see the morrow

But please don't worry

I am fine

You will see my smile

Creating these lines of lies around bleary blue eyes.