"I'm from Texas. Home to the beloved exports like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, mad cow disease, and bullets. I collect mannequin legs and spider bites. A race of super ferrets lives in my hair. They hate water so I shower with an umbrella. I eat bugs because I'm allergic to fruit. I wash my hands in the toilet, because sinks are too mainstream. Anything else you want to know about me?" -Tarquin, The Girl From The Well