What do you live for?

Sounds like a simple question right?

To live for something of value.

Whether it be family or your significant other.

Maybe a few friends.

It took me a while to realize this.

That I'm living for no one.

And no one is living for me.

Nobody wants me.

Nobody cares.

Being alone really made me realize that all I have is myself.

And nobody will hold you down the way you do.

The more I think about it,

The more depression drags me deeper and deeper into its clutches.

Gnawing on my insides.

Spitting out my brittle bones.

I guess I'm not meant to share my life with anyone.

I try again and try again, but everyone I let into my life just ends up vanishing into thin air.

Not even leaving a trace or a simple goodbye.

I begin questioning myself and god.

I feel like I'm going through a mid life crisis at the age of 21.

I ask god many questions.

No answers.

No signs.

Nothing.

So What is a man to do when he's ran out of options?

When all hope is gone.

The life being sucked from his body.

The answer is that there is no answer.

You have to seek answers.

Take it on the chin and suck it up.

Come to fact that you need to be brave.

You may be in pain but never crash and burn to the cold earth.

Keep going and eventually you'll find what you've been searching for.

6/15/19

2:29 AM