"Hey, you okay?" Iris tapped my shoulder, causing me to snap my head back towards her, my eyes wide with alert, dark circles under my eyes.

"Yeah-" I clear my throat lightly due to how raspy my voice was from the lack of sleep I had been getting, "Why?"

"Are you sick?" Iris questions, "You're shaking- you look like you haven't slept in days- you're breathing really hard-"

"I'm- I'm fine." I stutter out, shutting her down immediately, touching her shoulder in a reassuring manner, before turning my attention back to why we were actually here.

Apparently, Savitar was back, and now messing with Wally. Wally was finally fast enough to save Iris from Savitar. Wally had kept whatever was happening to him from Savitar to himself, which made Barry even more upset, causing him to practically kick Wally off the team. We now stood where we once were a few weeks ago, Julian hooked up to the device that connected us to Savitar; for communication.

Julian's distorted voice sounded through the room, "Bow before my greatness. Be at awe when you are in the presence of the Almighty."

"Oh, shut up-" I shot him a look, "That's complete nonsense."

"I wouldn't be talking if I were you." He gazes at me longingly, "You may be standing right here running your mouth, but believe me, when I am free, you will get what's coming for you. You will get what should have happened to you. It's only a matter of time. You have no idea what's coming for you, and it will happen when you least expect it. Your friends trying to change the future, it's affecting yours."

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Barry asks, crossing his arms, the look on his face remaining from before, showing that he definitely wasn't happy.

"The double has some unfinished business." Julian simply says, confusion running over me, as he opens his mouth to say more.

Barry cuts him off, "Enough. You were a man. Like me."

"I'm nothing like you, Barry." Savitar's demonic voice sounded through Julian, "You're cruel, selfish. In my perspective, you're the big bad."

"Where are you?" Barry asks, "You said, I trapped you somewhere in the future. Where?"

"The only place that you could think of. The only place that could hold me." Julian spoke.

"How long have you been imprisoned?" Barry questions.

Julian kept his stare on Barry, "Long enough to lose my mind several times over. It's only my will that keeps me on this side of sanity."

"You know it's funny," Cisco starts, "When I think of sanity, I don't necessarily think of Savitar."

"Well, that's because you're small, Cisco. You've always been small. Reverb told you that you could have been a god. But instead, you'd rather work as tech support." Julian spat at him.

"You wanna tell me why we're enemies?" Barry brings his hand to his chin, keeping his other arm folded across his chest.

Julian shot him a look, "Because we had to be. Only one of us could live. You thought that Thawne and Zoom were your biggest foes, but. But it's me. It's always been me, Barry."

"Man, what did we ever do to you?" Joe snipped.

The outburst couldn't be held back when Julian shouted, pure Savitar threaded into his voice, "You took everything from me! I never asked for any of this, Joe. I am only this way because of you. All of you!"

"When do we meet?" Barry questioned again.

"Not long now. You're there when I become who I am." Julian spoke.

"You're saying that I created you?" Barry asks yet again, just prying into Savitar with his questions.

"Oh, no. I created myself, Barry. Only I can bring out my greatness." Julian said.

Barry scoffs, "Your greatness? Well, you're still trapped, wherever you are, and I don't know how you're gonna escape. I mean, we got rid of the Philosopher's Stone."

"Did we?" Julian stood, egging Barry on, "I am closer to my freedom than I have ever been. Every step, every move you make, only brings me nearer to it. I only need one thing."

"Man, do you love to hear yourself talk." Iris mutters.

"Iris, trying to show that you're not afraid? But I know you are." Julian spoke, "I'm sorry that you have to die. But it's you or me. And despite your feeble efforts to change the future, you can't, because I am the future, Flash. Barry, you've had to suffer worse than anyone. You've endured pain your whole life. Your mother, your father- trust me, you'll never get over this."

Before he could say anything else, Barry had disconnected the chord, breaking the communication between all of us, and Savitar.

-

I stare at the case file in front of me, seated on a stool, leaning into the kitchen island. I pressed my fingers to my temple, staring at the papers in front of me. I sigh, tossing my pen onto the case folder, walking over to the medicine cabinet, swinging it open, grabbing the bottle of Modafinil. I tighten my messy ponytail, before popping back another two pills, washing it down with the whiskey that sat in the nearly empty glass.

I had been taking so much Modafinil, that I hadn't slept in days. I was having many side effects, but I wasn't bringing it up to anyone. I was too focused on my work, and everything that was on my mind.

I set the bottle on the counter, letting out a small cough, before returning back to the work that sat on the island. Barry came in through the front door a few hours later, his eyes landing on me, "Hey, how was your day?"

I barely nod, not paying attention to what he had just said, my hand shakily writing down notes on a separate piece of paper, not realizing I was writing about what Savitar had told me earlier, rather than the case I was so stressed about. Barry spoke up again, leaning into his elbows on the counter, looking right at me, "Do you need help with anything? You've been working on that case for days."

"Hm? No-" I mumble, my eyes scanning the documents, as I could feel his stare on me, as I wouldn't dare to look up at him.

"Are you okay?" Barry's question snaps me out of my focus, my head snapping up, my gaze landing on him, my eyes wide with alert, "What's wrong?"

"What?" I exhale, my breathing becoming harder by the second, as I could feel slight drowsiness come over me, my eyes darting to the Modafinil that sat on the side counter under the medicine cabinet, causing me to mentally curse at myself for not putting it away earlier, my eyes darting back to him, "Why would you ask that?"

"Your hair's up." Barry points to my ponytail, "You never have it up unless you're really stressed or something is bothering you."

"I-" I was at a loss of words, knowing he knew me too well for me to lie my way out of this, "The case- It's already been dismissed. It's just, the case. Man murders wife. Has a kid. Kid must go to some sort of foster home. I mean, come on. My foster family didn't care where I was if they kept getting their checks. If I didn't have Joe to keep me in check- I wouldn't be- here. I just feel really guilty for this girl. She's only 13."

"Let's hope she has her very own Joe West to keep her in check-" Barry grabs my slightly shaking hand, causing me to drop my pen back down onto the counter, "And her very own Barry Allen to love her the entire way."

I gave him a weak smile, before ripping my hand away from his hold, my smile fading, looking down at my notes, causing him to speak up again, "What else?"

"There's nothing else." I lie, flipping the noted page to it's back, pressing my palm against the sheet, the white blank space catching Barry off guard, due to how quickly I had lied.

Before I could stop him, Barry had used his speed to move my hand, slip the paper away, and get up, turning away from me, his eyes scanning the page, "Barry-"

"Savitar?" Barry turns back towards me, confusion written all over his face but it almost looked like he was upset with me.

"You weren't supposed to look at that." I mutter, sighing, the drowsiness taking over me, as I stumbled to my feet, walking over to the counter, grabbing the Modafinil.

"What're you-" Barry starts to say, walking over to me, snatching the bottle of pills from my hand, "You've been taking these? How many of these have you been taking, Zee? Is this why you look so unwell?- you're forcing yourself not to sleep?"

"It's not what you think, Barry-" I snatch the pills back.

"Then what is it?" Barry asks, snatching the pills back, placing them at the very top shelf of the medicine cabinet after opening it, setting the paper he had taken from me back by my documents.

"I need to be awake-" I press the bottom of my knee against the edge of the counter, starting to push myself off, to attempt to get onto the counter and grab the pills from the top of the shelf, "I need to figure out-"

Barry grabs me by my waist, setting me back down on the ground, grabbing the pills, opening the bottle and dumping it into the sink, running the water over it, causing me to let out a shriek, my eyes wide, Barry holding me back with his arm. He turns off the water, throwing out the empty bottle, "Barry- why the hell did you do that-"

"What the hell do you need to figure out so badly?" Barry asked me, his eyes wide, his voice raising slightly.

"I need to know when I die." I shout, breathing heavily, tears stinging in my eyes, "I'm not supposed to be alive, Barry. I shouldn't be here. I don't know when- it could've been when I drank that poison, or maybe I should've drowned when I was kidnapped, or any other times that I had been in danger- I should've died."

"Don't say that." Barry stares at me, "You're not supposed to be dead. I saved you- I will always save you."

I stepped closer to him, "Iris knows when she's going to die. That gives us a time limit- to figure out what the hell we're going to do to save her. But me? I could die any minute. It's only a matter of time. Just like Savitar said. He's going to make sure I stay true to my fate- he wants me dead- and he's getting my double to do it. I mean, when is she going to give me a break? I- don't understand how- you changing events to try and change Iris' future- is changing mine."

"Stop it." Barry stepped closer to me, the tears in my eyes falling, "I'm not going to lose you. We're going to figure something out. I don't want you stressing out over this. I am not letting anyone take you away from me."

"None of this makes sense to me. None of it." I raise my voice, a sob leaving my lips as I could feel every piece of me completely breakdown, stepping back, "None of the pieces add up. And now- you're probably going to be stuck in a position where-"

"Zee-" Barry lightly raised his voice at me, not wanting me to talk like this anymore, "That's enough. Calm down. You need some rest-"

"What I need right now, Barry-" I could barely breath, as I took deep breaths to try and calm myself down, "I need to leave. I just- need to go-"

Before I could protest, he had pulled me into his chest, holding me tight, not breaking away from me, no matter how many times I tried to pull away. We had ended up on the ground, Barry's back against the cabinets, holding me, rubbing my back, comforting me, until I had found myself falling asleep, despite the Modafinil.

-

My eyes slowly open slowly, the dimness of Barry and I's bedroom greeting me, the lamp being the only thing on. My hair was let down from it's tight ponytail, and was spread across the pillow my head was laid on. My hands were folded right onto my stomach, my body covered in our comforter. I was dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a t shirt, not remembering how I had gotten into them.

My gaze travelled down farther, as it landed on Barry, who was sitting on his side of our bed, one hand on my thigh, his eyes looking right at me in complete admiration. It was then I noticed the bandage that was placed right where his shoulder and chest met, wearing a navy blue sweatshirt, the zipper undone, revealing the bandage, his hair slightly messy and to finish off his look, a pair of sweatpants.

"Well, well, well." I look at Barry, "If it isn't the consequences of my own actions."

"You're not in trouble." Barry chuckles lightly, shaking his head lightly at my behavior, his smile weak.

"Barry-" My voice came out whispered, my eyebrows furrowing, as I slowly sat up, making eye contact with him, him looking as if he had just been done crying. "What- did I miss?"

"How are you feeling?" Barry answered my question with a question, turning the conversation on me, "The Modafinil should have wore off by now."

"How long was I out?" I ask quietly.

Barry's smile was weak, "A few hours. I let you sleep for a few hours. You were unwell this morning because of how much you had taken."

"I'm sorry." I whisper, my voice threaded with sympathy, "I was being out of line earlier."

"It's all okay." Barry squeezes my thigh lightly in a comforting manner, "It's fine."

"Barry." I reach, touching the bottom of the bandage lightly, "What happened?"

"Savitar happened." Barry admits, grabbing my hand, "Savitar manipulated Wally- he had Wally throw the last piece of the Philosopher's stone into the Speed Force."

"Why would it matter if he threw it into the Speed Force?" I question quietly.

"Savitar was trapped in the Speed Force." Barry told me, "Wally throwing in the last piece gave him enough to be freed. Then, Wally was sucked into the Speed Force- to take Savitar's place. And- well. This happened." Barry glances down at the bandage, "The minute I woke up, I came home- I wanted to check up on you. To see how you were doing."

"Barry-" My eyes grow wide, as I quickly pulled away from him, scooting over, laying him down where I was laid.

"I'm okay-" Barry starts.

I cut him off, laying on his other side, laying my head on his shoulder, pulling the comforter onto us, "You need to rest."

Barry weakly nods, pressing a kiss to my head, turning off the lamp, but even in our dark bedroom, I could already tell that the look on his face showed he was blaming himself for what had happened to Wally.

I looked up at him, the moonlight shining through our window, lightly flaring onto us, "What did Savitar say to you?"

"What do you mean?" Barry questions.

"I can already tell that you're blaming yourself. I'm assuming what he said has something to do with it." I told him my hunch, looking at him, awaiting an answer.

Barry makes eye contact with me, "He told me when I created Flashpoint, I gave him a way to return. I gave him the idea to turn Wally into Kid Flash and make him fast enough so he could eventually replace his place in the Speed Force."

"It's not your fault, honey." My voice was quiet, as I stared at him, "You couldn't have possibly known this would've all happened. If you knew- you wouldn't have made Flashpoint. None of this is your fault."

Barry breaks eye contact with me, wrapping his arm tighter around me, looking back up at the ceiling, "My fear's the reason for all of this."