📍Melbourne,Australia

Sunday 17th March 2019

It's 3:30 am and I'm not sleepy.

I'm a little too nervous and I need to calm down if I don't want to have another panic attack, I already had one on Wednesday, that's it.

I adjust my pajamas which consist of a Seb shirt that comes to the knee, make 2 braids and put on the slippers and then go down to the hotel dining room hoping it will be open.

Once there I prepare a chamomile and put some honey, I prefer it to sugar and then it reminds me of when I was little.

I used to have a lot of nightmares when I was a child and to calm down I would go to Seb's room and he would bring me milk and honey to make me relax, then we would sleep hugging.I miss those moments just me and him, since he started running seriously our moments are decreased and now that we have grown up and he has created a family we regret the past even more.

Once seated on the sofa, I place the cup on the coffee table and run my hands in my face to wipe away the sweat.

Charles makes a cup of tea and sits next to me, a little too much I must say, but I don't mind him.

That's very kind of Charles and very quickly I dive into his arms.A smell of mint and coconut comes to my nostrils, it's a really good smell.

Once we get to her room she asks me if I have a preference on the side to sleep on and I say the left side I have always been fixed with the left side, I sleep on the left side of the bed, I go up on the left side of the car, I use my left hand too.if I can use the right. I don't know why this little obsession but it's something I have as a child and that I share with Seb, only the part of getting on the left side of the car.

The phone shakes at 7.30 am, I stretch and my hand hits something hard and muscular, I open my eyes and find myself with my head on the pillow, my hand on the Monegasque's abdominals and his face an inch from mine. I feel my cheeks on fire so I try to move slowly so as not to wake him up but I don't get results.

Carletto says with his voice thick with sleep and a little hoarse, this makes him seem even sexier than normal

Let's spend a few moments looking into his eyes, the green / blue gods of him and the ice blue of mine.

His words send my brain to jelly, my phone starts ringing.

I walk away from the boy's body and take it, a message from Lex, my PR Reminds me that I have an interview in the morning before the race

I pick up my slippers and with the phone in my hand I go to my room to take a shower, put on make-up, leave my hair natural and get dressed.*see space for me*

25 minutes later we are seated at the table with Seb, Kimi, Daniel, Max and Pierre *Toro Rosso driver instead of Alexander Albon* having a light breakfast.

There is 1 hour to the start of the race, I have already put on the suit and now I am talking to Max, we are arguing about who will offer a beer to the teammate who will arrive first at the finish line.

Max is a really nice person, always kind and so different from what others think.Everyone thinks he is an unpleasant and grumpy person but he is far from it, what others see is a kind of armor and reflects his way of drive, determined and a little crazy.

But I have to be a little crazy to do this job and here in the paddock we compete.

But now it's time to stop talking and start concentrating, I make a physiological pit stop and get in the car to take a lap of the track and position myself on the 5th spot.

The traffic lights go out and the race begins.

I'm a little sad, I was hoping for better but I know we are only in the first race out of 21 but that's how I am, I always want to give my best to make it clear that I deserved the place.

I really think I'll be the one offering Max the beer.

📍Space for me

Finally a Victoria a little more feminine in dressing.