Breathing heavily, I looked up to the sky and chanted in my head over and over again, "Please, let this all be from Leni."

-------------

My phone rang suddenly and I stood up, wiping my tear-stained cheeks. Hindi ko na tinignan kung sinong tumawag basta sinagot ko na lang 'yung phone.

"Happy birthday, Ana Theresia!"

Usually, I'd calm down whenever I would hear her voice. But right now, I could hear my heart beating in my ears sa sobrang bilis ng tibok nito. I leaned on the desk, trying to steady myself kasi I was starting to feel lightheaded. It took me a while before I answered. "Hi, Leni! Thank you."

"Hmm, anong problema?" She noticed the difference in my mood and tone kaagad.

"Walang problema."

"You don't sound very happy for someone who's celebrating their birthday today."

I stared back at the letters on my bed and made up my mind. I had to ask her. "Magiging masaya ako kung nandito ka sa tabi ko."

"Alam ko. Kaya nga nandito na ako sa labas kanina pa eh."

Surprised, I looked out my window and saw her sa labas ng gate. I ran down frantically. Parang mas mabilis pa ako kay Lightning McQueen sa takbo ko pababa, halos matisod ako sa lahat ng nakaharang sa daan ko.

"Hey. Happy birthday ulit!" She greeted as soon as I opened the gate.

The heaviness in my heart was gone the moment I saw her in matching light pink pajamas and slippers. Nakangiti siya sa'kin like a little kid on Christmas day who just saw their gift. Winagayway pa niya 'yung wine bottle na hawak niya.

"I brought snacks, cake, and wine. Come on, let's celebrate."

I was speechless. She's here, right in front of me, in the most free and genuine way that she could ever be. No cameras, formal clothes, staff around her, speeches to make, meetings to conduct, people around to impress, wala talaga. Sa harap ko, she's just Leni. And she came here all for me.

I motioned for her to get inside, still not uttering a word. Hindi talaga ako makapagsalita. Sobrang dumbfounded ko dahil hindi ko na alam kung ano bang iisipin ko.

I took the food and wine that she bought and placed them on the dining table. She stood on the living room, watching me with careful eyes. Here we go again sa tinginan niyang ganyan. Hindi man ako matunaw sa titig niya, kung ano-ano namang pumapasok sa isip ko.

"Ris...are you alright? Are you sick or in pain? Please, talk to me."

Hindi ko napigilan. I enveloped her into a bone crushing hug and buried my face in her neck. Ramdam kong nabigla siya kasi she was tense at first. But her body softened almost immediately and she wrapped her arms around me, squeezing tighter. I inhaled her scent and hugged her tighter, if that was even possible sa higpit na ng yakap ko sa kanya ngayon. Leni's scent was sweet and flowery, amoy mayaman but it was an automatic magnet that has drawn me over to her again.

"You feel like home, Leni." I whispered against the skin of her neck, eyes shut as I continue to bask in the feeling of her body pressed tightly against mine. I don't think I've ever felt so safe in my life.

"You feel like home too." She reached her hand out to stroke my hair while I remained on her neck.

The dilemma I had just a few minutes ago was pushed to the back of my mind. What matters as of this moment is nandito si Leni. She came all the way here to spend time with me.

She pressed a quick kiss to my forehead and grabbed me by the hand, leading me to the kitchen. "Let's go eat the cake I brought you. This is your favorite pa oh."

Sana inapply ni Leni 'yung sinabi niyang 'inihahain ko ang aking sarili' when she announced her presidential bid habang pinaghahain niya ako ng cake. Baka pwedeng ihain mo na rin 'yung sarili mo sa'kin?

She poured two glasses of wine and offered one to me. Habang kumakain kami, nacurious ako pa'no siya nakarating dito kasi wala naman ako nakitang van niya na parked outside.

"Nagdrive ako papunta dito. Alam mo ba, I had to go to different stores pa kasi none of them had the cake flavor that you love." She remembers my favorite cake flavor, even the wine was something I'd definitely prefer over the other wines offered in banquets and dinners.

"You went to different stores dressed in your pantulog and alone?

"Oo. What's wrong with that?"

"Maria Leonor, you're the president of the country! Baka mamaya mapa'no ka dyan sa labas o may magtangkang gumawa ng kung ano sa'yo. Do you know how dangerous tha—"

Hindi ko na natapos 'yung sermon ko sa kanya kasi sinubuan niya ako ng cake. Gamit 'yung tinidor na kanina pa niya ginagamit. Napatigil tuloy ako lalo at nanlaki 'yung mata ko. Oh my god, indirect kiss yarn?

"Ang dami mong sinabi. I'm here and I'm safe now, aren't I? Kasama mo ako dito and buhay ako."

I swallowed the piece of cake she forced in my mouth, "Nag-aalala lang naman ako para sa'yo."

"I know and thank you for that. But stop worrying too much about me. Ayokong nakikita kang nasstress lalo na kung dahil sa akin."

Sus, Leni, kung alam mo lang. Araw-araw akong stressed dahil sa'yo. Umaga pa lang inooverthink ko na 'yung mixed signals mo, hanggang matulog inooverthink ko pa rin. Napapanaginipan ko pa nga minsan.

I watched her drink from the wine glass she filled earlier. Walang lipstick stain na naiwan because she wasn't wearing any makeup. But still, I found myself drawn to the shape of her lips that lightly marked the brim of the glass because of the moist.

Napansin kong may wine stain on the corner of her lips so I reached out to wipe it off. I ended up getting so close to her na hindi ko napansing her face was mere centimeters away from mine. If anyone of us leans closer, our lips would meet completely.

I feel her hot breath on my lips and my breath hitched momentarily. I bit my lip, trying to resist the temptation. I want to kiss her so badly right now. But then I was also reminded of the dilemma I had earlier and I knew na hindi ko kayang palagpasin 'tong pagkakataon na 'to to ask.

If it's not Leni, then I apologize to whoever sent them because I can't reciprocate their feelings. I'd feel flattered but if hindi lang rin naman si Leni, 'wag na lang.

But if it's her — holy shit, if it's her, I'd be more than the happiest woman in the world.

"Leni..." I whispered, my lips ghosting over hers. I held her face in my hands now, caressing her cheeks as I stared right into her dark eyes.

She looks at my lips that were so so close and then meets my eyes. Naghihintay siya ng susunod kong sasabihin. Huminga ako nang malalim.

Now or never, Risa.

"The gifts and the letters...it was all you, wasn't it?"