writes stupid words!" There was the sound of wood scraping tiles as a young man by the name of Shen Yuan jumped out of his chair, pointing angrily at the computer screen in front of him.

The title: glowed on the screen.

What kind of dog shit novel is this?? A cultivation novel that can hardly call itself a cultivation novel.

Over a thousand chapters long, Shen Yuan had forced himself to read chapters after chapters of this utter crap. This sort of deplorable garbage should not have been written at all!

But would you look at that.

Would you look at that!

Proud Immortal Demon Way. The most popular stallion novel of the year! By far?!

Has the world gone mad? How could this... This complete rotten rubbish be the most popular novel of the year?? Who would read this shit?

It was such a shame. It was so regretful. Shen Yuan had gone through all the trouble, even getting the VIP membership for this. There were numerous foreshadowing, plot holes everywhere, mystery after mystery, layer upon layer of confusing fog. Yet in the end? Not even one can be solved! He bet even the author himself can't solve it either! It was all bullshit!

There must be no one more passionate than him in hating this novel. He hates it. He hates it so much that he would love to find the home of this Airplane Towards the Sky, and strangle him, demanding him to fill. His. Damn. Plot. Holes!

There were so many ways, so many ways that the novel can turn out for the better. Why is it that the stupid author keeps picking the wrong way?? WHY??

Proud Immortal Demon Way. A stallion novel that had over a thousand chapters of utter shit. A novel Shen Yuan hated to the core. Such shameless and inadequate writing. Even a kindergartener would do so much better. Shen Yuan grabbed a meat bun and crammed it into his mouth as his fingers type impatiently and angrily across the keyboard.

"This. is. the. most. goddamn. awful. piece. of. work. I. ever. seen. in. my. life-!" Just as Shen Yuan smashed his finger on the enter button, his eyes bulged as he choked on the piece of bread. The screen flashes at him with insults from his recent comment and suddenly his eyes are bulging from anger rather than gagging.

"Stupid author- Stupid novel-!" Shen Yuan choked out before collapsing. Sprawled on the floor of his messy bedroom, these were the last words of Shen Yuan, an individual who hated a novel so much he waited and brought every chapter as it updates just to leave hate comments on it.

。。。

。。。

Shen Yuan opened his eyes. He would very much like to say he woke up to the sunlight basking on his figure. But no. He woke up to the dark reddish clouds above, looking quite hellish and sinister.

.

.

.

He's in hell, isn't he.

Damn it.

Shen Yuan knew he was no saint, but seriously? He has never harmed anyone in his life! And he died young! Would the heavens at least have an ounce of sympathy???

Shen Yuan glanced around, feeling drained. Then he froze and glanced down at his own body.

"..." Okay, Shen Yuan did die young. But what is he doing in this four or five years old body?? He didn't die this young???

He was wearing some kind of tattered robes; robes that were frayed around the edges, not even patches for the holes as if the person who owns this body can't even afford to do that.

There was a bucket of water near him. Shen Yuan stood up, feeling the whole perspective level was wrong, everything seems so tall. He hurried over to the bucket, his small hands grabbing the rims as he looked down in the water.

Shen Yuan almost gasped out loud.

This face... THIS FACE!!

It wasn't his face.

Sure, it looks better than his actual face, possibly, but it wasn't his face.

A drop of water splashed into the bucket, causing a small ripple on the surface. Is he crying? Another drop of water splashed into the bucket.

Shen Yuan blinked. No, he wasn't crying. Then who is? The boy slowly looked up from the water bucket.

This time he let out a small gasp. First, there was an opened mouth. The liquid was coming from the corner of its lips, dripping down into the bucket. It was saliva.

Shen Yuan took a step back. Then another.

Unable to tear his gaze from the tall creature, he realized it was sleeping. The head of the creature was rather small and waxy, its closed bulging eyes were lowered down its face, its lips puffy and wide; it was a face of a toad. However, its body was of a human. And by human Shen Yuan meant no actual human would have a body like this. Sure, it has arms and legs and a torso, but it was all abnormally long and bony; like a stick figure.

The creature was sleeping while standing, with both of its long dangly arms on each side of its body looking more comical than scary, snoozing away. Shen Yuan can almost see the snot bubble coming out of its nostrils.

Shen Yuan took another few steps back. Yes, he's definitely in hell. He quietly turned and almost immediately, turned back around as he heard a squawk of a voice.

"You! Sleeping on the job again!" A duck- chicken- geese-?? creature thing strutted over to the toad man and grabbed the bucket of saliva. "It's been an hour and you've only filled one bucket??" The bird creature spat angrily into the bucket. "The customers said they want more toad's nest soup!"

"..." Okay, maybe if Shen Yuan slowly turned around, he could get out of there without getting noticed.

"Hey! Is that a mortal over there?! Toad! There's a mortal kid over there and ya didn't tell me?!" The bird creature jabbed the toad man's leg with its wing arm because it was too short to reach the toad man's side. The toad creature snored loudly in response.

...Crap. Shen Yuan made a run for it. But who knew the bird creature thing can make a screech so loud, so freaking loud that Shen Yuan's heart almost stopped in terror for a second?

Then there was a scream "After him!" as a whole lot of bird creatures in black jumped out of nowhere like chicken ninjas and began to chase the poor, unfortunate Shen Yuan.

And of course, Shen Yuan got caught.

He blames the five-year-old body he is in. He had tripped over a he-does-not-want-to-know-what-it-is thing.

And now... And now, he was tied to a stake, in the middle of a busy street, as a crowd of creatures or monsters bid for his life. Are the ominous red clouds above foreshadowing his fate?

"A young mortal! Tender and juicy flesh!" The bird creature shrieks, on top of a stone block. "It'll probably make some of y'all less ugly! But only some of y'all, so don't keep ya hopes up cuz some of y'all are lost cases!"

The whole crowd roared, screaming bloody murder.

"I'll trade my brother's ashes!"

"No one wants ya stinking brother's ashes!"

"I have thiss!! I have thisss! It's a ssspectacular material to use to make robess or bagss! And get thiss! It can'tt get wett!"

"Isn't that ya skin you shed this morning??"

"Ya, ya, I saw him shedding that skin!"

"Oi, you were peeking??? How indecccent!!"

Can Shen Yuan die now? Why can't he just die peacefully?

。。。

。。。

。。。

"Hmm? San Lang, what's going on over there?" Xie Lian asked, pointing into a crowd.

There was a mob of ghosts and demons crowded around something Xie Lian couldn't see. Although Xie Lian thinks he saw Butcher Zhu among the crowd. Suddenly, Xie Lian has a bad feeling.

Hua Cheng who was by his side, holding his hand, was examining a silver stone from a nearby stall. He briefly glanced over to the crowd and said, "Gege, you don't have to worry about that. One of the losers would find some useless stuff and all of them gets excited over it. This happens at least once a week and they get excited over cow shit."

Xie Lian "oh"ed and nodded his head but he still couldn't shake off the bad feeling. "Hey, San Lang, can we go see what they found this time?"

Hua Cheng looked up. Seeing the uneasiness in Xie Lian's eyes, he said, "Sure, if Gege wants to see it, Gege, of course, can see it."

Xie Lian smiled at him. The red and white figures walked toward the mob, which seemed to be even bigger than before.

The ghosts and demons closest to Hua Cheng and Xie Lian quickly move out of the way, shouting at their companions to "move outta the way, it's Lord Chengzhu and his husband! Move your nasty butt outta the way!"

And some demon replied with, "I don't have a butt!"

Soon Xie Lian and Hua Cheng had a clear view of what was being bid for the ghosts.

"Huh. Guess you all did find something remotely interesting this time," Hua Cheng commented.

Xie Lian exclaimed, "That's a child, San Lang! It's still a mortal!"

"Ya!" A ghost that looks like some sort of bird but Xie Liam couldn't tell what kind of bird said. "If Granduncle likes it, we will give it to you! I bet if you soak it in wine for a day or two and then cook it, it'll taste ghostly! Or Granduncle can just eat it raw," The bird demon chirped excitedly.

"You're an idiot! Why would Granduncle eat that shit?!"

"It ain't shit, it's a healthy, juicy, and tender human being!"

The bold bird demon turned to Xie Lian. "Isn't it almost Lord Chengzhu and Granduncle's anniversary soon?? Allow me to give that to ya as an anniversary gift!!"

Without waiting for an answer, the bird demon hurried to the stake and untied the human.

Everyone gasped collectively including the bird demon as the child slumped onto the floor like a rag doll.

"OH SHIT, HE'S DEAD!!" Someone screamed.

"No, no! He's just passed out, everyone," Xie Lian said, hurrying to the child.

"Okay, party's over, go back to whichever rock you have been living under," Hua Cheng shooed the ghosts and demons away. The creatures immediately scattered away, afraid to offend their lord.

。。。

。。。

Shen Yuan woke up.

"Ah, you're awake, how do you feel?" a gentle voice said to him. He felt the back of someone's hand on his forehead and his eyes looked up.

His eyes widened. He abruptly sat up.

Surprised, Xie Lian retracted his hand hesitantly.

The boy stared at him with wide eyes. Xie Lian stared back at him blankly.

Shen Yuan had never seen...

He had never seen...

Someone with a glowing screen for a head.

Suddenly there was a mechanical ding and a young-sounding voice began speaking. At the same time, the words of the voice were being typed out on the glowing screen.

A little, but fat pixel cat appeared on the screen and waddled to the edge, and then it pushed the glowing screen away from the person's head by headbutting the edge. The little thing looks a lot like Pusheen, that online cat except it was all white with a little pixel bow on its neck.

"..." Shen Yuan was this close to lying down and closing his eyes, pretending he hadn't woken up yet.

The little chubby cat turned to face Shen Yuan and the voice said in an intimidating tone,

"..."

The tiny cat's face turned into a snickering face.

"..."

Shen Yuan closed his eyes and fell backward.

✨✨:

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Word Count: 2198