I love him.

I love Xander so much.

I used to dream about finding the right man and falling in love with him, I used to dream of being swept off my feet, being a little spoiled. Of the perfect man. I am not saying that Xander is a perfect human being. I'm just saying his imperfections make him perfect, perfect for me.

You could see it in his strict and sure way he approaches his business and you could see the switch instantly flip when I step into the room or when he looks at me. Xander is it for me. The one man I wanted to spend my future with.

I stared down at the box in my hands. I could give it to him now. I wondered if he would like it. What he would say or how he would react. I flipped open the box and stared at the bracelet. It had cost a fuck ton but it was so worth it. And I personally think Xander would like it.

I closed the box and shoved it back between my clothes when I heard footsteps coming towards the closet. Xander was fresh from the shower, his hair wet and sticking to his head, water droplets going down his chest and a towel wrapped around his waist.

Sometimes I think he does this on purpose.

it's like he knows seeing him like this short circuits my brain. Thankfully, I had a very thorough shower because I know the type of man my boyfriend is and when he gets horny, I get horny . I was already dressed and ready for wherever it is Xander wants to take me to. He says he has a fun date planned and I am excited.

Xander takes one good look at me and does this slight head tilt that shouldn't be that hot. What? He stepped closer and closer until he was right in front of me, his arm slipping around my waist, tugging me even closer. I placed my hands on his chest and looked right at him.

"You look absolutely wonderful." Xander said and my go warm.

"I'm just in legging, Xan. Nothing special." I said, shaking my head at him.

"Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, darling." was all Xander said before pressing a kiss to my hair. He let go and when his hands slip away from me and gripped his towel, I walked out of the walk in closet, giving him a little privacy. Plus I knew if I had remained there, we would never make it to our date on time or if at all.

Xander had said to dress casual. Sweatpants casual, he said. So I opted for my Adidas training leggings and a black long-sleeved top with white sneakers. I had packed my hair up and out of my face. I pulled out my phone, shooting Ryan a text. I haven't seen him since I said goodbye to him a day before.

Ryan was absolutely smitten by J and it was reciprocated too. I was just so happy for him. J was a decent human and if he so much as makes Ryan cry, I will sic Xander on him. It took a couple of minutes for Xander to walk out of the closet and when he did couldn't stop staring at him. He was so gorgeous.

Dressed down Xander really does it for me. It's one of my many Xander's. My other favourite was all suited up Xander, angry Xander was absolutely hot and liked to fuck his anger out with me, pressing me up against the wall, against any flat surface, even bending me into angles that feels so amazing. Wow. Oh wow.

Xander was in a black jeans, doc martens on his feet and grey jumper. The jumper looked so good and comfortable, very warm and I might add it to my collection. His auburn hair was styled off his face. The best thing is his eyes, just as gorgeous as the rest of him.

"You're staring."

"And now you know how I feel when you do it." I quipped. Xander lets out a hearty laugh, walking towards. When he seats beside him, I turned to ask. "So what are we doing today?"

Xander hummed, pretending to think about his answer. "I don't know."

I pouted, poking his shoulder. "Xanderrrrrrrr..."

"Its a picnic. That's one of the surprises. I'm not saying more than that." he said and I smiled. A picnic. I haven't been on that for a very long time. I wondered what he packed. I wondered what the other surprises were. I hope it wasn't another island or I might kick him in the shin this time. Or tell him to stand in the corner.

Or.... Or a sex ban for week. He would hate that.

"You're lovely." Xander said, pulling me out of my thoughts. He reached forward and tucked a strand of curl behind my ear. His obsession with my hair was adorable. I wondered what he would do if I decide to straighten it one day. He might actually cry.

"You are handsome." I said, cupping his face in my hands and smiling at him.

"I am so lucky I have you." Xander said. "I can't believe I found you." he said, moving close enough to press a kiss to my cheek and another to my nose. He's perfect.

"I love you." I said. I had so much words in my head, things I wanted to say but those three words seemed to sum up everything.

"I love you too, Bram."

-

The drive to the park Xander had chose had taken half an hour and it was small talk and music, me singing along to the songs playing on the radio and trying to make Xander sing. He wouldn't budge though.

"I still can't believe you can draw and you didn't tell me." I said and Xander chuckled.

"I don't see it as something special." was his response.

"Why?"

"Mafia don's aren't meant to be artsy. My dad didn't like it when I drew so I tried not to do it as often and after a while, I sort of forgot about it." Xander said and I pout for the second time that day. Xander's dad needed a good talking to because fuck was my boyfriend great at drawing.

I had the sketch he made of little me, put in a frame and hung up in our room. Xander's dad needed a good kick to the shin also.

"Are you think violent thoughts, angel?" Xander asked, amusement in his tone.

"No..." I said, pointedly looking out the window. I already knew what happened with Xander's dad. They were never close and he retired when he was sixty five, moving to one of his many islands. Xander doesn't talk much about him and I don't ask. He doesn't like talking about it.

"You're cute."

I scoffed. "I thought I was lovely." I tease, rolling my eyes at my boyfriend.

Xander doesn't give me any verbal response, he just laughs and laughs. He's lucky he's such a hot, cute, gorgeous, handsome boyfriend or else I would be giving him the silent treatment. The park Xander took us to was a private one and it took my breath away. It was more of a huge private outdoor garden. Flowers of different colours and the air, it was light, fresh and made me feel good.

Xander, ever ready, took out a large blanket from the trunk of his car as well as a picnic basket. We walked a bit further down and far enough away from the door that it was starting to look small. He then spread out the blanket.

I plopped onto it, criss-crossing my legs as I watched him take a seat across me. For the picnic, Xander had made fruit salads, chicken, ham and asparagus pie, chrizo pastry slices, some strawberry cupcakes and my favourite, mini milkshakes. It tasted divine. They all did.

"That was amazing." I said in between sips of my milkshake. I was so full, it felt like my tummy was going to burst. "How long did it take for you to plan and make all this?" I asked as I finally too final sips of my milkshake, emptying the glass bottle. Afterwards, I washed everything down with large gulps of water.

Xander and I talked and laughed. After a while, he lays down, his head on my thighs and looks right up at me, smiling. I couldn't resist. I leaned down and pressed my against his in a soft kiss. We pulled apart a couple seconds later.

"I love you."

"I love you. I adore you." I said, giggling when I see the tips of Xander's ears go red. I brushed my fingers through his hair and smiled down at him. I liked when I made Xander blush, he always looked bashful, like he wasn't expecting himself to actually have that kind of reaction.

"It's not a competition, Curly." he said with a slight shake of the head.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Xander cackled. "I knew you were going to say that. That's your catchphrase." he said and I flicked the side of his head. He didn't even flinch. Tsk.

"I don't think I like you today."

"Even after the spectacular picnic and view?" Xander asked, smiling up at me. I narrowed my eyes at him and shook my head.

"No."

Xander sits up. He stared at me for a beat before turning to the picnic basket. He reached in, nervous smile on his face and finally pulled out an orange box.

"Even when I give you this?" he asked. He flips it open and my heart plopped down into my stomach. It felt like I had stopped breathing and I was just couldn't look away from the box. Sitting in the box was the most gorgeous collar I had ever seen. It was white gold with .... Oh my god, those are diamonds. Oh my god.

"Xander..."

"I wanted to get you something that you'd like. I searched and searched until I decided not to buy just any collar. A collar is a symbol of commitment, it's given by a dom to that sub. That special sub. You are my special sub, my special little." Xander said. "I wanted you to wear a collar made by me, designed by me. I wanted to ask, if you would like to wear this. To say yes to having a future with me. This Bram... this is me asking you, to be mine for as long as you'll have me, my love."

I... I didn't know what to say.

I felt so emotional, there was this feeling swelling inside of me and I just...

I never had... this has never happened to me and I ...

I mean I have read about it, I have dreamt about it, I knew what collars represents but I just never actually thought Xander would get me one. And yet, here we are, in the most beautiful garden, after the perfect day, the sun setting just right behind Xander, bathing the diamond crusted choker gold and I just...

I couldn't complete any thought process. I just couldn't stop staring at the man in front of me with the nervous smile on his face and the gorgeous piece of jewellery he had gotten for me. It looked like stars. Wow.

"I would be honoured to wear your collar. I would be honoured to be owned by you." I said, my words coming off strong yet quiet.

The nervous smile Xander had on his face, doesn't go. Even when I moved much closer to him and turned around, tilting my head a bit so he could get the collar around me, clasping it at the back. He doesn't stop there though, he slips a finger into the band holding up my hair and slid it down, making the curls fall loose and around my face.

I turned my head to the side, so I could at least see him. Xander slipped his hand up my neck, fingers playing with his mark. That's what it was, his mark. I turned around in his arms, arms going around his neck as I sat my ass down on his lap, looking down at him. Xander's eyes were trained on the collar and when he finally looks up at me, his eyes were dark and blown wide. He liked it. He liked the fact that he owned me now.

And so did I.

Xander's grip on my waist tightened as we closed the distance between us, our lips pressing together in what started out as a soft kiss but ended up with me on the blankets, gripping the grass as Xander kissed and licked every inch of me.

I love him and he loves me too.

—-

I'm sorry about the lack of updates but I love youuuuuu