What could I say to that?

Actually I knew what exactly to say to that but it still somehow sounded wrong. That would just be me talking and I wanted to prove myself to Bram. I didn't want him to think doubt or be self conscious. I wanted to treat him well, like the prince he is, so that he would know what I wanted.

And what I want from him is ... for him to be happy.

Smiling, laughing, just has he has been since we started going out.

I just wanted him happy.

The first night we met, that new year's eve party, the way he laughed, his smile and before then, before we talked, I remember watching him in the party. I stood at a corner and watched this curly haired man in a bejewelled batman mask weave through the guest with one glass of champagne. I don't remember how much I spent just looking at him that night, but I did see it. The down turn to his lips, the way his shoulders started to sag before his friend came up to him.

"If I say that, does it or will it make you change your mind?" I asked Bram.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

I softly stroked his side, my free hand coming up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind his ear. My gorgeous boy.

"I mean, if I ask you to be my little, would you say yes?"

Bram's eyes widened as I stared at him. I didn't want to look away, it felt like every moment with this boy, with my curly haired gorgeous boy was special. Even if I was putting myself out there and waiting for a little piece of my heart to get stumped on.

"Since it's you asking, I'd say yes."

I shook my head at Bram. I wanted him yes but I didn't want him to be my little just because I wanted him to be. "I don't want you to force yourself into something you're not comfortable with." I said, trailing my finger down his cheek, his arm and finally to his wrists, swiping my thumb against the smooth skin.

"I simply mean, that if it's you asking, I would say yes." Bram said and I open my mouth to object but he presses one finger against my lip, so I let him continue. "You have shown me who you are. You never bothered to hide anything, not even the fact that you lead a crime family, or even when you carved lines into Moy's skin. You showed me everything and I appreciate that. You have taken care of me, cared for me, told me truths and so much more and that has just been in the span of weeks. That is why I am considering being your little."

"Bram..."

"Xander..."

I stared at him. He had come clean this night, putting himself out there and laying out his past, his painful past. Honestly, I was going to find that son of a bitch that thought hurting Bram was a great idea. It was guys like that that gave doms, that gave bdsm a bad name.

"Why don't we think about it for a week? If after a week, we still feel this way, you still feel this way then we will try this. Slowly but we will try it." I said, slipping my finger down his open palm before interlocking it. "I want you to be safe. I want you to be sure."

"One week."

"Any questions that you might have about this lifestyle or just anything in general that you want to know, you can ask me." I told him, keeping my tone stern, still looking at him.

"Thank you so much, Xan." Bram said, moving closer and pressing a kiss to my cheek.

The feeling, that sensation was instant. It felt like I was kissing him for the first time and we both know it isn't. I haven't felt this way about any one, I haven't felt anything like this and I was excited. I was also happy to know that it was this sweet boy who was the first to ignite this kind of feeling within me.

Ever since that day at the party, it felt like I wanted to do everything within my power to make him laugh. To see him smile. That was why I went out of my way that night and laid down a grass. Grass! To watch the stars with him.

Yes I had the option of searching for him, it wouldn't have taken a long time to find him. But something in me knew and look where I am right now.

The door bell rings, startling the two of us. Bram slid off my lap and I stood up.

"I'll get the door, why don't you get some plates?"

Bram nodded and got up from the couch. He walked over to the kitchen and I pulled open the door. There was a pizza guy standing there with out order. I take out my wallet and pulled out enough money to pay for the food and tip before taking the boxes from him.

Bram had laid out two paper plates on the table and he was seated on the floor, his legs crossed. He was still wearing the clothes he had on from work and I wondered if he was comfortable in that.

"Are you comfortable in those clothes? You can quickly go and change."

"I'll go change into something comfortable." Bram said, running towards his room. He pops out a few seconds later. "Do you want me to get you anything? Sweatpants?"

Was I going to spend the night here? This was my first time actually inside the house. Nah, I had to give him enough space so he could make his decision without being influenced by me or something I do. So yeah, no sweats.

"No, I'm good."

I stayed seated and grabbed my phone, scrolling through my emails and frowning at a couple that I had read.

"Why are you frowning?" Bram asked as he settles down beside me. He was in what had to be the tiniest black shorts ever and a long-sleeved yellow shirt, his hair pulled in a loose bun. The sight of Bram like this scrambled my brain for a bit. Words? What words? What are words?

"Xan?"

I blinked and shaking my head. "Someone tried to raid one of my farms."

"You own a farm?" Bram asked as he opens the pizza box, the sweet scent of goodness in the air.

"Not the farm you're thinking of."

"Huh?" Bram asked as he takes a bite of his pizza.

"It's a marijuana farm." I said and Bram stopped chewing. He turns to me with wide eyes and I smiled at him. He had asked so according to our agreement, I had told him the truth.

"How big is it? Is it like an actual farm?"

"It is. If you want I could take you there some time." I said and Bram nodded.

I had a couple of farm, separate houses, and estates. It was practically the biggest in the country and I had a deal with a couple of families in different countries and states. The fact that someone had found one and tried to break into it, was making me angry.

J hadn't seen it yet, if he had Ryan would be back home by now, since the message was sent to me about an hour and a half ago. I was going to deal with this later.

"Do you have to deal with it now or can we have dinner?" Bram asked, picking one slice of Pizza and placing it on one plastic plate, pushing it over to me.

"Dinner." I said and he smiled at me.

Bram looked around, searching for something. He must have seen it behind me because me moves closer, stretching over my body to get to whatever it is he was looking for. He stretched, the shirt riding up and showing off his stomach, his legs close, so close. He was so close I could touch. Was he doing this intentionally? It felt like it was happening in slow motion.

Apparently, he had been reaching for the remote. I looked at him and he blinked at me al innocently before turning to the tv. It comes on and he flips through Netflix before he settled on an episode of You.

Dinner with Bram was as good as it always was. Normally we'd eat with a table between us or the kitchen island that one time but now, here he is, right by my side, eating and occasionally looking at me.

"You're staring."

"I cant help it. You're beautiful."

Bram giggled, his smile turning shy as he looked back at the tv. Thirty minutes later, all the food had been eaten and I made sure Bram drank enough water before telling him I had to go. Once I got to the door, my hand on the knob, I couldn't just leave like that. I couldn't.

I turned around, my arm slipping around Bram's waist pulling him closer and kissing him. Just lips, the soft press of our lips. The warmth of Bram's hands on my chest, the feels of his lips against mine, the tingle I felt all the way to the tips of my fingers.

I pulled away, nudging my nose against his. Bram was smiling, it was a big smile and I felt like kissing him again. And if I did, I know that I won't be able to stop. Id take him right against the door. I won't care about the neighbours, I'd make him scream as loud as I can make him.

"Stop staring at me like that." Bram said, his voice soft.

"I can't help it."

It seemed like Bram's smile widened and it was so bright. I made him smile like that. I, however, let go of Bram and finally walked out of the apartment. Bram gives me a little wave before shutting the door. I walked down the stairs and got into my car.

I flipped on the radio as I started the car, Lotto by Joyner Lucas blasting through the speakers as I drove. I was half way home when I finally got a call from J.

"Boss..."

"I take it you got the message." I said, pulling to a stop at a red light.

"I did. Roberts said he got the guys and they are at the yard." I nodded, driving off when the lights turn green.

"I'll meet you there."

"Of course."

The yard was an empty house on the estate. It wasn't popular knowledge but I owned Dannington estate and some of my most trusted men lived there. The yard was the fifth house on the right. It was set up and looked lived in, in case the cops thought they were smart.

Beneath the house, however, was a big basement. One of many. Sound proof and filled with things I liked. I pulled into said house a couple of minutes later and got out. One of my men were standing there, he gives me a short bow before opening the door.

Today had been a good day. I spent the night with Bram, he opened up to me about his past and we had kissed, after so long. Today was a good day and it should have stayed good, yet some people want to irritate me. Breaking into one of my farms. They must be so freaking stupid.

I got all the way down to the basement and pushed open the door. There were four men on their knees, hands tied behind their backs. Their skin was marred with bruises. Roberts tossed me a pair of black leather gloves that I slip on.

"How did you get the address to my farm?" I asked, my voice loud and echoing around the space. The man in front of me spits at my shoes. Yeah, there was a time to be brave but right now, was not that time.

"I'm going to ask again and this time use your words or loose three fingers."

—

Xander is... pretty great 😭🥵

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