Dear Z,

Are you alone, staring at the night sky thinking about what tomorrow would bring?

Can I tell you a secret? Don't waste your time thinking about tomorrow. All you have is tonight...

• • •

Sunday Afternoon

I turned off the tap and began stashing the rinsed plates into the overhead cabinet. My mother standing beside me, clearly looking worried.

We just finished brunch and an argument arose between my father and me in front of everyone. I close shut the cabinet door and turn to my mother. "I'm not getting married. Not now. Not ever."

My mother stood with the deepest frown upon her weathered face. I could tell she was exhausted from the seamless endless arguments I always had with my father. Back to what career I should pick to friends I should hang around with to setting me with his big industry friend's daughters that I should take out. Countless and neither one has ended right.

All these arguments start like he wanted to quietly 'discuss something' which turned not to be a discussion but a dictatorship. A command I must follow or else, well the the tone of the conversation began to amplify and before we reach our pinnacle, we realize people are watching us. Families are snooping a look. Friends grinning. Mom exasperated and embarrassed. Adrianna humiliated. Same cycle. Everyday of my bloody life- only when I come home. And it's become rarer each visit.

She starts with the similar placating tone, "Look Zaid, I think he wants what's best for you-"

I cut her off with an incredulous look. "Me? That man only thinks of himself. He thinks what's right for his reputation. Not me. Not my goals. And I'm standing down on this. I don't ever want to get married and be like hi-" I stop immediately, a flush of red thrown over my neck.

I rub the spot behind my neck as I stand awkwardly. "I didn't mean-"

My mother simply sighs and walks past me. I clench my jaw, almost turning back to apologize but I hold back.

Nothing doing.

My dad has been the over-head director of my life till I could remember. He told me to study engineering, to give up sports, to ace my entrance exam, to join flight school, to become a naval aviator. It was a lucky coincidence that I happen to fall in love with flying.

I practiced and trained to refine my elite flying skills. Learning the art of aerial combat is a technique that sticks to anyone who has passion and adventure and of course, discipline. With it, comes a price. The price of facing the real deal. The real reality.

After that, I was up in the air field with my partner, Bake a.k.a Van Baker. He was assigned to me right after school and we have been through planes taxying and taking off. We do run into many enemy MiGs and we have gotten shaken up pretty good during our hops but the last hop had been deadly.

I shook, awaken looking around. I'm back home, safe. I was alive. I think I understood a lot of life during my time in air. We live in the here and now. We live our life right this moment.

A loud chorus of laughter rang outside and I rub my face with my two palms. I might have been following my father the whole time but this time it stops. Like hell, I want to tie a knot and settle down. After what I have seen and been through, I have problems thinking how I should take care of myself let alone another person. Call me selfish, but I don't need to think about anyone else's needs at this moment when it's my life on the line.

I pull the door open and when I peeked in, I saw Rose, chuckling with Adrianna. Her hair was open. Her makeup done and her eyes landed on mine. I immediately slam the door shut.

I'm shaking like a buzzing panic was exploding inside my head. As if I'm being punched nonstop. I might throw up.

My mind immediately zapped to what occurred yesterday. Her on top of me. Her thighs astride me. She was like a volcano, who pretended to be dormant but was secretly active.

When I told her to get off me, she hadn't budged. Weirdly, I liked that. More than that, I liked how she reacted to me. Especially when I was undesirably cruel to her. I don't know what comes over me. All cruelty stems from weakness, and my weakness...no, I refuse to believe she was my...Goodness, I am actually going to throw up.

I grab a glass, fill it with water. Gulping it down, I walk backwards and open the door with my back. Whilst finishing my glass, I see both my parents standing with Adrianna and Archer at their side.

"So as you know, next week is going to be hectic. We have an organized schedule printed out for each of you." Pamphlets on fancy paper were handed out. I snagged one from my cousin Wade and took a long look at it.

ARCHER & ADRIANNA's Wedding Planner~

*Monday 11th- Magni

*Tuesday 12th- Haldi / manjha

*Wednesday 13th- Mehandi

*Thursday 14th- Sanchaq

*Friday 15th- Barat / welcome / nikal /arsi mushraf / ruksati

*Sunday 17th- Walima

I whistled low. It was going to be a big Muslim wedding, no doubt. There were tons of things to do. Chaos will reign in the Edris household from next week.

"Keep to the schedule and this will run smoothly." Adrianna waved her hand to emphasize on her point to which everyone thought that there is no way any wedding would go evenly without any mishaps.

As Archer and Adrianna yammered on, I zoned off and suddenly looked around for someone particular. I know I shouldn't but it's been two years since I saw her and just knowing she was here in this room was enough to get my sense tingling.

Every Rose has its thorn but this Rose was covered with thorns that bleeds venom to whomever comes close by and dares to touch it. I instantly caught her standing right across from me with two or three family members in between.

I smirk. I kinda like the thought of being the only one who can come out alive whilst pricking. To me, she wasn't someone who could scare me. No matter how intimidating she might be.

I couldn't see what she was wearing but I was too concentrated on her face. Her perfect oval face that was angular towards her chin. Her lips full and puckered like she was meant to pout delectably. Her eyes deadly and expressive.

Something also tells me she was aware of me. I had a gut feeling about this. She would do some kind of antic just to get a rise out of me.

Man, I would have been pissed if it didn't make me feel...all different kinds of weird.

I never know what to say about Rose. If anyone asked me to describe her, I couldn't come up with a word. I just didn't know if a word would be suffice.

I was so busy watching her that I hadn't notice the people around me were dismissing. Looks like this family meeting just finished. Finally, I could leave.

"Bup-bup-bup- Where do you think you are going? We are having a horror binge marathon of The Haunting Hill! Let's go!" My arm was dragged by my sister, who may lack strength in leg muscle but her upper body strength was getting better.

"I hate horrors." I say to deaf ears. I am led straight towards the den. A large theatre sized television screen lay flat upon the darkened wall. The carpeted dark floor with huge L-shaped sofa stood in the middle.

My cousins were already smoking and sipping on crystal glasses of whisky and rum, dangling from their fingers. The air hazy inside and smell was of ashes. But it was comforting.

I was pushed into one end of the sofa and instead of protesting, I fell back with ease. If you can't beat them, join them.

I look around the room and see the major ten are here. The major ten excluding my sister, Archer and me are the infamous cousin council of this family. We have the twins, Gina and Leonard Edris. Legendary loan sharks who make small investments to desperate losers and close relatives and friends. Not a brilliant idea to borrow money from them. Ever.

Then, we have Ira, Zeneca and Kyle a.k.a the terrible Triplets. They are known for their nasty pranks and overwhelming nature. Well, except for Kyle. He is the normal one in the family with him being a reputable IFB special agent. The other two women...don't ask.

So, that's from my fathers side.

Coming from my mother's is cousin Wade Joseph, the brilliant man in his early thirties and a great drinking buddy since we were kids. He has three younger brothers all lining in their twenties. There is Cameron, Prince and Kane. All are prepped into business schools. Serious as fuck, which is why we get along and each of them are mother-fucking panty-dropping bike-riding bastards of a player. Every single one of them. Again, why we get along so great. So bloody great.

And finally, Rose.

Before I could take in her as she walked into the den, the cousins clamber onto the huge couch with popcorns and nachos flying around. Their bodies hurdled with legs folded or stretched. Some sit down while few are checking their phones and blowing out smoke.

The reason why we purchased the only allowed furniture in this den a.k.a the unbelievably expansive dark blue l-shaped couch was because the cousins liked to huddle and do things together. Also, to fit the large group comfortably. There were what now I see, bean bags chairs scooted around the sofa but they weren't here when we were younger.

Things do change with time.

The lights dimmed down in the den. Smoke still wafted in the air. Wade sat next to me while Archer and Adrianna sat on the cushioned floor down. The rest of them made up the middle of the couch, few brought in extra cushions and more candy and gummy bears spilled all over the coffee table with cans of beers, coke and ginger ale. Whoever wanted scotch and soda could go to the bar next room and make themselves one. There was no limit to making this as good as it gets.

And when I noticed the bean bag chairs going unaided, I smile to myself. Maybe somethings don't change because they are perfect the way it is.

The series started. As all Horrors did start, it was murky and oozing with tension and eeriness. I kept my ankles crossed as I stretched myself out.

Yet I felt restless.

Everyone was calmly watching the new series. They giggled and gasped even before anything started. Goodness, they were a bit too excited!Crunching of popcorn and nachos echoed in the den and yet I couldn't concentrate. Because my eyes kept going to the slender bitch sitting right at the end of the sofa.

Her eyes were on the screen as she laid back.

I quickly scanned the room to see if anyone was watching me. When I realized no one was paying attention, I slanted a look over her.

She wore a black sheer top that outlined her black bra. Her breasts were round and the swells were showcased. My throat turned parched. Why was she wearing this?

The bodice held her perfectly. Curves and all, she sat there like the Queen of Sheba. Mother-fucker.

When my eyes returned to her face, I nearly choked. Her electric cat gaze converged mine. She caught me. Leering at her like a pervert. Except I absolutely felt no shame.

I didn't look away. Her eyes of liquid green kept me captive as she slowly subtly arched her back. Making her raise her breasts. What was she doing?

My pants tightened. My fist clenched hard. I wanted to tear that top. With my teeth.

She very casually caressing her chest with a finger, lingering down between her swells and back up.

She was teasing me. Making me feel sick. Making me want to lose whatever this sick game this was.

But I didn't lose. Zaid always won.