Aiden.

It's been a few days since Emilia told me she thinks my nightmares are from Italy. I've spent the better half of those days organizing my business so we can somehow get back to reality. If it was just me and her here it wouldn't be an issue but it's not.

I finally have her alone, Emilia's been busy all day cooking for twenty people in the house. Guards, us, new security. This cabin is fucking packed, she even made fucking coffee for Leo again. I'm spiraling and I need to keep calm, how can I explain that I don't like her serving him without sounding like a fucking moron?

I want to do anything but sleep right now, the nightmares are becoming too real and I'm mixing reality with my dreams. I know she wouldn't, but it's him I don't trust. At the same time, he did keep Em safe in Italy so I can't ignore that but I've been so high strung from my nightmares.

I watch as she changes for bed, admiring her tattoo. It looks so fucking good against her tan skin, I have no idea why I argued with her about getting one. "Come here." I beckon her with open arms, wanting to feel her close to me. She slides in, fitting into me like a glove. Her brown eyes peek up at me through batted lashes.

I need to talk to her about everything. Not directly because I don't want her to see anymore faults in me but I need to be assured, "Why are you with me?"

Her eyes widen at the question, she sits up the smallest bit. "Why are you asking this?"

Shrugging, I pull her back down against me. "I need to know what qualities you see in me."

"There's so many, A." she says, trailing a finger across my chest as she breathes deeply, "How safe I feel with you." She lies.

I play with her hair as she lays on my chest, her words haunting me. The feeling of her locket necklace laying against my skin makes me smile momentarily, she never takes it off. "You don't have to lie to me, you know," I tell her, not mad or upset. I can't blame her.

She turns, facing me with her hands propped up on my chest holding her head, "What did I lie about?"

I laugh a little at her trying to be sweet, "About you feeling safe with me." I say through gritted teeth, I fucking hate admitting that.

She gives me a curious look. "Aiden, I've never in my life felt safer than when I'm with you,"

"None of the shit that you've been through would have happened if you never met me."

She rolls her eyes, "I wouldn't even know who I was if I never met you."

"Still, there's no way you feel safe around me. Everything you've been through was a direct implication of my bad choices. I would die before ever letting anything happen to you but-" she cuts me off.

She grabs my face in between her small hands, "Aiden Scott, I'm not lying to you. There is nowhere in the world I feel safer than with you. Remember every time danger has happened to me it was when I wasn't with you. Shopping with Ashley when the Matterazo brothers took us, you weren't there. And the other time when the men..." She takes a deep breath, "When they took you, you sacrificed yourself for my well-being. You put me in that room and locked me inside to keep me safe." She kisses my cheek "There is no one in this world who would protect me as fiercely as you."

I hate to fucking ask this, I hate being insecure and unsure but she makes me vulnerable. "What about-" I quiet my voice even though it's late as fuck. "Do you feel safe around Leo?"

She lays on her back, mulling over my question. "Kind of." I lay on my side, watching her face. "It's not like with you. It's not protection I crave like yours its more of a 'he's my bodyguard and he'll protect me as well as he can.'

I smile, "Is that the truth? I won't be mad."

"Yeah, I mean I'm not going to lie and say he isn't capable of protecting me, he is but not to the depths your willing to go. For him, I'm a job. To you, I'm your lifeline."

I smile at her words, "So naïve my sweet girl." Twirling her hair between my fingers I tell her the truth she doesn't want to hear. "You're more than a job to him," I say, even though I fucking hate saying it.

She shrugs, "He'll learn."

I hold her tight, thinking to myself that he better fucking learn quick. I'm planning on firing him when the new security team gets here. The one tangible reason I want him gone is because of my nightmares though, how fucking crazy is that?

Plus, he has an innate ability to overstep his minuscule place in Emilia's life. I let the anger I feel for him subside for a moment so I can better understand her feelings for me. "I just don't know what I did to deserve you, I've put you through so fucking much Emilia. How much longer until you leave for someone less complicated?"

She laughs, doubling over. I cock my brow at her. "What's funny?"

Laying her head back down on my chest she runs her fingertips over my tattoos, circling the yellow rose I got for her. "What's funny is you thinking I would ever leave, A. You're it for me."

"You promise?" Fuck, I sound like a bitch.

"With everything in me." she says, closing her eyes.

I feel like I'm losing control of everything for the first time in my life. My entire empire is centered around my control of power. Growing up, I had nothing. My father made sure we did without. It wasn't my moms fault for loving him, apparently, he was a nicer person before the alcohol took over. But all I've ever known is him being a monster.

I have no communication with my him, once I turned sixteen he kicked me out. I wanted to go live with Ashley and her mom but I didn't want to be a burden. So I got a job as an intern at an investment company and lived with Ricky and his family. If it wasn't for them, I don't know where I would be. That's why I don't care that he dates my sister, he's a good man.

Through my internship, I saved all my money and put myself through one semester of college hoping to get all A's. I had a perfect GPA throughout high school and between that and my work in college I earned a full ride to Stanford.

All of my accomplishments and it's never enough for me. I have to be more, I always have to be more. Better, richer, more successful with each passing year. That's why I'm so obsessed with wanting Emilia to have the world. She deserves everything and I hate that she feels guilty when I buy her things.

I never want her to do without, it makes me physically ill thinking of her not having whatever she needs, she wants so little for herself though, always caring about others and putting herself second. Not as far as her dreams go, she's capable and talented and has a plan for her life but as far as wanting anything material, she's just not that type of girl.

For years I've struggled with why mom would always run back to my father. I think I understand more now with the overwhelming love I feel for Emilia. You can't help who you fall in love with, I'm just lucky the one who has my heart would never break it.

My mother's death was brought on by my fathers actions. She died in a crash while driving in a storm after a fight with him. Her only fault was loving the wrong man. I've worked to be a different man than my father was, but is the circle continuing? Is everything I've put Emilia through something my father would do, is my selfishness of having her contributing to her downfall?

I've got a plan to get her life back on track, more stable. I swear if even one person argues with me I will flip my fucking shit. Emilia won't be able to stop me and that's why I'm waiting until she falls asleep before I go talk to the guys.

♠️

See y'all Saturday! ♥️

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