I slammed the shot glass down and wiped my mouth on the back of my hand. The fruity purple liquid burnt as it made its way down my throat, making me wince. "Raspberries. I taste raspberries."

"Yep, that's the Chambord. Did you taste the lime?" Matt leaned against the row of sinks as his gaze swept over my figure.

I shook my head and stared into the mirror, running my fingers under my eyes to remove a trail of smudged black eyeliner and mascara. "I look a right state."

Matt shrugged and pushed himself up. "I don't think so. You look pretty good from where I'm standing." He came up behind me and propped his head on my shoulder, looking at my reflection. Not once did I catch him staring at the scar on my face.

I cocked an eyebrow and smirked. "Is that so? Even after that meltdown. I doubt it."

"Happens to the best of us. Ready to head back in?" His low hoarse voice tickled as the air hit below my ear. I was very aware of how close we were, each part of him touching my back.

I twisted round, so we were chest to chest and looped my hands behind his neck. "This might be a bit forward but if you've finished work, can we leave? I need a distraction."

His eyes widened, and I watched his Adam's apple bob up and down. "I can deal with forward. I live a few streets away. We can go there? If that's okay with you?"

"Sounds good to me. I'll just tell Zaire and we can go."

Matt grabbed my hand and all but ran out of the restroom. I found Zaire chatting to CeCe and whispered in his ear that I wouldn't be long, promising to call him when I was ready for a lift home. I weaved through the room, avoiding my old colleagues and friends on the way out, and met Matt by the exit.

I haltered my strides as the cool night air hit my face. Closing my eyes, I tilted my head skyward and took a deep breath in.

Matt stroked my bare arm and inched closer. "I have a small confession," he whispered into my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. "I've been dying to kiss you from the moment you walked into the bar." His hands danced on my lower back, under my top; his breath fanned my face when he moved to stand in front of me.

He ran his thumb over my bottom lip as his amber eyes held mine. Desire instantly flooded my body, and he had yet to touch his lips to mine.

"I'd really like that," I said, closing the distance between us. Threading my fingers through his thick hair, I gently tugged his head back as he gripped my waist. He tasted of the raspberry liquor and a hint of a dark, rich whiskey. I didn't even like whiskey yet on him, I couldn't get enough of it. At the time, I was so glad I wasn't intoxicated. The leftover buzz from my previous shots faded into the background as a new feeling consumed me.

My body clenched as he deepened the kiss and all previous thoughts melted away; my sole focus being this warmth spreading through me.

Matt pulled away. My knees wobbled as we took a few seconds to catch our breath, and then his lips crashed back onto mine. The second kiss more urgent with our intentions very clear.

"Let's get back to yours," I moaned when his mouth found the hollow at the bottom of my throat.

***

I stood on the top step in front of a decent sized three bedroom terraced house. Matt wasn't lying when he said he lived close to the bar. We practically jogged up to his home, but even without it, the distance couldn't take more than ten to fifteen minutes by foot.

Matt struggled with his keys and turned to me a few times to apologise for not getting the door open quick enough. I leaned against the wall, taking in my surroundings. Close to midnight, it wasn't surprising that the streets were empty.

"Finally." Matt intertwined our fingers and pulled me into a small hallway, slamming the door behind us with his foot.

With no hesitation, he pushed his body up against mine and I ended up backed into the wall. His fingers pressed into my skin as a breathless gasp escaped my mouth. That's all he needed for his lips to latch onto my neck.

The sparse moonlight filtered through the glass panels in the door, letting me see that he didn't live alone. "Are your parents home?" I breathed out when his lips trailed up to my ear and sucked on my earlobe.

"No, bit too old to live with my parents. I'm twenty-six. They're in Australia." His hands reached round to cradle my arse, and he achingly applied enough pressure so I arched into him. I moaned when I felt his hardness right where I needed him most.

"So–" his lips returned to my neck, sucking gently, and I lost my train of thought–"I moved back in with mine. It's possible," I struggled to explain.

"Wait, you're over eighteen, aren't you?" He leaned away to study my face and raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, Arsehole." I slapped his chest and let out a small chuckle. "I'm over eighteen. Check that before plying a girl with alcohol and then getting her into your bed. I'm twenty-three."

"I thought so. Making sure after–"

"Stop talking."

My body begged for his touch. I clutched onto the collar of his shirt and pulled him to me, letting my breasts graze his muscular chest. I was hyperaware of the fabric of my bra rubbing against my nipples. Dizzy and breathless, every inch of my body craved for his touch.

Matt stopped our lips from touching but let his hover over mine as he held my gaze. I swallowed hard at the intimate gesture, feeling nervous for the first time that night. His hands teased as he feathered them across the bare skin of my abdomen. My breathing came out in short pants as I anticipated each languorous touch. They trailed up my sides, brushing my breasts and worked their way up to my neck.

Heat flooded my senses. He was heartbreakingly beautiful. I ran my thumb over his coarse stubble and he momentarily closed his eyes before his lips seized mine. Our kiss turned merciless, and I was putty in his hands. I was willing to do anything he wanted with me. My legs wrapped around his waist, and he walked us up the stairs to his room.

My fingers were shaking as I unbuttoned his shirt and stopped on a delicate bee tattoo over his heart; the fine outline out of place on his broad frame.

"What's the bee for?"

He stiffened and covered my hand with his, moving it away from the tattoo. Matt kissed me hard, distracting me from my question.

I moaned as his tongue traced along my bottom lip and entered my mouth. The rest of our clothes came off in hurried movements until we were both left in our underwear. Each time we separated, we moulded back together in a frenzied rush, harder and hungrier.

A fever spread through me, leaving goosebumps over my skin. Matt groaned when I reached for his erection and gripped him hard. His fingers made their way to the edge of my lace thong and under the fabric, dancing around my wetness.

"Condom," I panted into his ear.

"Wait."

I stilled my hand. "Use a fucking condom or I am gone."

Matt removed his fingers from my underwear and placed his hands on my shoulders. "I will. Just let me do this first," he said, his voice laced with pure lust.

My belly flipped, and he pushed me down onto his bed. He crawled over me, bit down on my shoulder and moved down to my chest, running his tongue down the valley between my breasts. He unclasped the front clip of my bra.

"So fucking gorgeous," he groaned against my skin. His mouth covered my naked breast, sucking and tugging on my left nipple until it formed into a tight bud, then gave the right side the same attention.

I grew desperate for a release and squeezed my thighs together, trying to gain some friction. His hands stroked down my side until his fingers found their way under the elastic of my underwear and he tugged them down in a leisurely, agonising torture.

Nudging my legs apart with his knee, he rocked once, twice, three times against my core. I arched off his soft duvet and pushed my nipple further into his mouth. My vision and mind clouded over. This was exactly what I needed to forget. A moment of pleasure to push my demons away.

Desire pooled in my gut. My hands reached into his hair as he made his way down my body. My sex trembled as cool air hit between my legs. "So beautiful," he groaned.

I cried out as his tongue slid over me. His slight stubble added an edge to the sensations rushing through me. I wanted more and as if he could read my mind, Matt brushed two fingers at my entrance and then curled them into me.

That's all I needed to combust. Fireworks sparked in my limbs, and my racing heart wouldn't calm down. I covered my eyes with my arm, fighting the urge to cry. I heard the tear of the foil condom wrapper and felt Matt ease over me. He held the side of my face and peppered light kisses along my jawline to my temple.

"You sure about this?" he whispered, stroking the hair out of my face.

I nodded. He kissed me slowly with so much passion and heat but as if I would break in his hands at any moment. With a cautious thrust, he pushed into me, and I gasped, feeling every inch of him. I wrapped my legs around his waist when he picked up the pace. Every nerve ending was on edge as he brought me to the brink of another orgasm.

***

Matt lay against his headboard, his bedsheet hanging dangerously low over his manhood. I unabashedly admired the view as I pulled my jeans on.

"Right, big boy. I'm off." I tapped him lightly on his bare stomach, avoiding his intense stare.

He combed his untamed locks off his forehead. "Already? You can't go home on your own. Stay the night," he said and pouted.

A giggle escaped my lips. "Zaire's picking me up. I just texted him." I wished I could stay, but this was for the best, for both of us. One-night stands were so much easier, and if he ever got to see me again, he would thank me.

Matt wrapped his arms around my waist and tugged my clothed body up to straddle him. "Don't go yet," he mumbled into the kisses he left along my collarbone and neck.

"I have to," I sighed, twisting strands of his dishevelled hair around my finger. I pushed up off him and sat back down on the bed to lace my boots up. "You heard me in the bar. I don't stay over, and I don't do repeats. It was amazing but don't call. I'll see myself out."

"But I gave you an orgasm." He gave me a puppy-dog look, but a smile danced on his lips.

I smiled back and peered over my shoulder. "Yes, you did." I shook my head and walked to the door.

"More than once."

"More than once."

"You will be back, you know." Matt linked his hands behind his head, flexing all the muscles in his pecs and arms.

He was making it hard to leave looking that hot without his clothes on and I was tired. Laying in his arms for the night would feel good, but I stood my ground.

"And, you will fall in love with me. They always do, just you wait and see," he said after licking his lips. His eyes glinted with mischief as he raked them over my body and then winked.

I burst out laughing. He made a comment that should have come across as arrogant, sound lighthearted and playful. The problem was, it could easily happen, and that was why I definitely wouldn't make this a repeat.

"See you around Matt." I waved and closed his bedroom door behind me.

Zaire was parked outside by the time I made it out of the house. I climbed into the backseat and shut the car door.

"All right, dirty stop out. Shall I get you home before you turn into a pumpkin?" He glanced at me through the rearview mirror before driving away from Matt's house. "Did it help?"

I crossed my arms over my chest and sunk back, looking out the window. I wanted to disappear into the fabric of the seat. My cheeks prickled with embarrassment, and a heavy dose of guilt whirled in my gut. "I'm sorry I ran off. It wasn't fair on you. We should have gone through tonight together."

Zaire sighed and stayed silent for a few minutes. My eyes welled up as I fought the need to cry.

"We do what we have to do. I get it. I really do. Just don't shut anyone out. I can't be your only friend. I know it's scary, but everyone misses you. You're not alone. I love you bumblebee."

Hearing Zaire use the nickname Saffron gave me was like a knife to the heart.

The dam broke and my tears streamed down my face. Although uncomfortable, I curled up into a ball, laying down, my seatbelt cutting into my side and let the sorrow shred my insides.

***