Today there was a college fair. Reps from colleges in our area were flooding the school begging students to read their overly-saturated pamphlets and brochures to their overly priced college. Their begging tactics worked pretty well though, as 70 percent of the students who attended my school ended up going to an in-state college that bred them their perfect little suburban life, following right in the footsteps of their parents.

The entire junior student body was currently bunched up in a stuffy auditorium as our principal droned on about 'career paths' and the 'impact they can have on society'. It wasn't long until he dismissed us to go and actually check out the fair on the auditorium stage.

I was going from stand to stand, checking out the colleges I'd never be able to get into, lone-wolfing it up until a teacher told me I needed to be with a group. The only people nearby were some annoying math-sci guys, and to my unfortunate avail, Colton's friends.

Which would be; Hannah, Noah, some other default ass lacrosse players, and Brooke. Brooke, technically not his 'friend', but ya know.

They were circled around some booth repping our state. Colton seemed distant, but every 5 seconds or so Brooke would pull him back into reality. Back into the poison that was Melbourne Valley's hierarchy.

Yeah, I was definitely not going up to them. I quickly diverted my eyes from the group but not before I met eyes with Noah, who smiled as soon as he saw me and waved me over. In my head, I wanted to hide behind my pamphlet, but I knew that would look stupid, so instead, I just went over with a big ass fake smile on my face.

We were standing in a group away from the other students, and I felt out of place. If i were to look from lenses on the outside, I would see wolves. Then me. A sheep. Sticking out like a sore thumb.

"So what college do you plan on going to?" Brooke asked Colton. For the first time in a while, she actually seemed present. Right in this moment, she looked fully invested in Colton's answer--like college was something serious to her.

I could see that Colton was visibly uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong, it's not like he had no plans for his life, or wouldn't be able to get into college. In fact, with his stats and connections, he could get into any fucking college in this entire world if he wanted to. Or, his family could buy him in. They'd never do that, though, because college wasn't an option for Colton.

Ever since he was a kid, his father had been prepping him to take over an executive position at their real estate business. No, they didn't just sell houses--it was a business his great great grandparents built dating back to the 1800s which had time to evolve and grow into a broadening network connecting through other different big name companies and was now one of the largest estates in the nation.

His parents were very old. They had Colton when they were somewhere in their mid 50s and Colton pretends it doesn't affect him--the way that his parents could drop dead at any given moment and that responsibility would be on him-- but I know it does. So he tries his best to avoid the 'thinking about the future' situation.

"Well, you know, there's options," he sighed, clearly hoping someone would change the topic but all eyes were still on him. Now he just looked annoyed. "I guess I'm thinking of maybe an in-state?-"

"An in-state would be perfect! Transportation would be easy on us and we could commute daily to see each other," Brooke gleamed.

He chuckled politely, and I noted that he didn't mention he wouldn't be staying in the states after high school. As soon as senior year ended, the summer of, he'd be moving to the Netherlands, city of Rotterdam, as that was where the business headquarters were located. Colton was already fluent in Dutch, and took hours of college courses after school to continue learning everything about stocks, business, and investments.

"I know EXACTLY what I'm doing after school," Noah suddenly chipped in. "ASU BABYY!"

Arizona State University. Fitting.

Brooke laughed, and Hannah rolled her eyes, looking almost offended that he'd ever suggest going to an out-of-state college.

"Arizona has an acceptance rate of like, everyone," Hannah pointed out. "You don't have any aspirations to aim...I don't know..."

"What? Higher? Nah. I mean, you really gotta ask yourself. Does any of this shit matter? If I'm already making figures fresh out of highschool, why would I torture myself for 4 more years?"

"Oh! And you have a 6 figure job just lined up I assume?" she rebuttled.

"Yeah, actually. My dad's got me working at the construction company so I know how things role around there. 150k a year. So yeah I think I'm pretty much set for life, thanks for asking!" He chirped sarcastically.

I fought hard not to roll my eyes. He was right, but I felt jealous. Everything so easily lined up for him.

Hannah threw him the finger. "Well, my plan is to go D2 womens volleyball. Scholarship program."

Brooke's eyebrows raised. "Scholarship program?"

"Yeah. I texted you the link to it a week ago, remember?" She pulled out her phone, scrolling through it, then cursed. "Shit. All the virtual slots are filled now."

Brooke deflated.

"Wait! There's still in-person though," Hannah exclaimed. "I'll text it to you. Anywayss, I'm only doing this scholarship cause it's one that guarantees me a slot on my dream college's Volleyball team. And most D2 players turn D1 and so on so forth then boom! I'm at the Olympic Village; 2025."

"Wait, so you don't need the money?" I asked, confused. It was the first I'd spoken in the conversation, and shockingly, they didn't treat me weird for actually contributing.

"No, of course not. If it were about the money, I'd already be a shoe-in." she replied. "But enough about me! What about you, Asha?"

"Actually it's Washa," Noah corrected her with a smirk. I couldn't help but feel a small smile sneak onto my lips.

Funny. Inside joke.

And now, everyone's eyes were on me. I was poor, but they didn't know that (except for Colton, but he didn't know the levels). They probably wouldn't even care, but I was so afraid of that too. So afraid they'd slowly and more slowly loose more interest in me and forget about me and I'd disappear into the shadows, like this entire experience had never even happened.

Why did I feel that way? Why did i even care what they thought about me? I don't know. I think a part of me felt like being in close proximity to their friend group would be the only way to stay close with Colton too .. But for some reason, with the way he was looking at me right now, it felt like I'd be doing the complete opposite.

"I don't know yet," I said honestly. To my surprise, they all mostly nodded. Understanding.

"That's perfectly fine. To be honest I didn't even know if I had a plan to go until the last minute," one of the default lacrosse players chipped in.

"Yeah. It's crazy how some people have their whole lives planned out for them," I sighed. My eyes inadvertently shifted to Colton's gaze which was burning with something I couldn't put a finger on.

If I had to guess, it would be that what I said hit home.

Fuck. Now I felt bad.

Microphone feedback ripped us all out of our thoughts and towards the attention of our principal who instructed us to get back to our seats. As hundreds of students made their way off the stage and back to their seats, it became increasingly crowded. My seat was on the more empty side of the auditorium, while Colton and his friends were stationed in a more popularized area. Just as I began to walk towards my section, I felt a hand graze my lower back.

Colton.

He was snaked behind me and his hand caressed my waist. It was a normal touch, but because it was him, i felt a million sparks fly all over my body.

He leaned into my ear closely, his voice private. "Can we talk for a second?"

"Sure," I whispered back.

He motioned silently to the exits and I nodded, squeezing between people's knees in the small auditorium rows, him following behind me.

Outside the auditorium, it was completely mostly quiet except for the distant sound of hand-dryers echoing through the empty hallways.

"Vanderbuilt seriously needs to pull that stick out of his ass," I joked as the auditorium doors slammed shut.

"Yeah," Colton chuckled, massaging the back of his neck. I could immediately tell something was wrong despite the smile on his face.

"What'd you wanna talk about? Is there something wrong?"

"That's actually what I've been meaning to ask you," He drew coyly.

I was a bit taken aback. The fuck was this?

"If this is some sort of therapy intervention, one, I don't have health insurance and two-"

"It's not." He took a step closer, then looked around to make sure no one was nearby. Then, he lowered his voice. "What's with you and Noah?" He asked with a joking tone, but I knew it was more serious.

I took a second to think. What was with me and Noah?

"I-Well, I don't know. I guess it's actually nice to have more than one friend for once?" I fumbled with my words, not having a good answer to his question. Even I was shocked at how easily I was being incorporated into the 'popular' group I never in a day in my life thought I'd ever be friends with. I shook my head. "Wait-why?"

He choked out an awkward laugh. "I don't know. I'm--It's just weird, ya know? Like you and then him but it's not just him it's like all of them-"

"All of them? Wh-? Colton, what are you talking about?" I was close to laughing, but mostly just cause I was confused. What was he getting at?

"C'mon, Asha. You know what I mean."

"I don't."

"You should make more friends, is all I'm saying," he decided on.

Annoyance was coursing my veins. He wasn't being clear. "I am. With Noah." I said slowly, slightly patronizing. I knew he wasn't stupid and he knew he wasn't stupid so I wasn't sure why he was acting like this.

"Yeah, I see that. But I just-why him? Of all people? And while we're at it, why the rest of my friends, too? It's weird. They're not the most moral people, Asha and honestly? I'm not really comfortable with mixing those corners of my life. I don't want you involved with them."

"So what? I should 'make friends' but just not with your friends?"

"That's not-"

"Why? Am i not good enough for your 'friends'?" Sarcasm was oozing off my tongue and harsh words were spurring out of my mouth. I usually had a filter when it came to Colton, but right now, I was more hurt and the pain bubbling at the pit of my stomach was too much to endure. "The fuck is it, Colton? Huh? You're embarrassed by me?"

"What do you want from me, Asha? All I'm asking for is space and look- you think i haven't noticed, but I have. You're alone. You pretend like you aren't, but I know you. I know you are, and I'm okay with that. It's something that I cherish about you and cherish about our friendship too, okay? That we're alone. Together. But when you overstep boundaries like this--"

I was hurt, and there were tears brimming my eyes. "Boundaries you put in place to make sure no one ever knows you're friends with me."

That shut him up.

There was silence slicing the room. Even the air-dryers stopped blowing.

This was my first fight with Colton. Or at least, the first fight that felt like something serious.

It was silent. And I was waiting for him to say something, waiting for him to deny it, but no words were spoken. His averted eyes told me everything I needed to know.

Tears were pricking at my eyes as I realized the truth I had been avoiding all these years. "Really?" My voice cracked.

"Asha-"

The answer to the question of whether Colton was protecting me, or embarrassed by me.

I finally had it.

"Fuck you, Colton," I scoffed, wiping tears from my eyes.