Weeks started to fly by as if they were days, college life… well it was rough. Maybe I would soon get used to the fact that it was like that and I would be able to keep up, but as of now I was struggling.

Me and Devon… well, nothing much had changed between her and I. We were still pretty close, bonding more and more everyday. I decided to let her talk all she wanted about Rachel, because I had found myself wanting to hear about her. Hearing Rachel’s name come out of Devon’s mouth was common, and I started to like it.

She told me stories about her and Rachel, how they were crazy freshmen and sophomore year, then when junior year came they both kind of settled. She let me know Rachel’s ambitions, her own ambitions, her emotions, her memories, and her depression.

We would have late night talks sometimes, listening to each other talk about absolutely nothing or something so in depth it could make you cry.

But she never ever told me what her and Rachel fought about the night she died.

I had brought it up countless times, and I was beginning to grow curious about the fact. It had to have been something serious… Rachel was obviously close to Devon, and for them to get in that big of a fight… well it had to be something serious to cause it.

And I wanted to know.

Samantha… well she was Samantha, creepy as ever. Eyeing me from every turn, watching me as me and Devon walked down the halls at school…

She had tried pulling some things on me but I didn’t allow it… I didn’t want to. I didn’t find myself liking Samantha like I liked Devon… and I found myself not wanting to get involved with anyone besides Devon…

But I couldn’t say the same for Devon…

Her and Emerson… well you could tell things were starting to grow. The phone calls, the frequent hanging out, the parties we were invited to…

And it pissed me off. Majorly.

I hated sharing Devon for some reason, and I knew this feeling was never going to go away, but I didn’t want to tell her. I didn’t want her to hate me, I didn’t want to be labeled as a lesbian because I wasn’t even sure if I really was one.

Sure, I had thought Samantha was cute, and sure I was kind of in love with Devon…

That didn’t mean I was a lesbian.

Did it?

Now for my appearance… well that was something I couldn’t explain.

My build had changed, I had grown an inch since college started, and I was slimmer, my boobs hadn’t changed but my hips seemed to fill out and I had to admit.

I was pretty damn sexy.

Me and Devon would attend morning yoga on Tuesdays and Thursdays when we didn’t have afternoon classes and my body had just amazed me.

Me eyes had stayed the same since the wreck and my hair… well let’s just say it looks completely different then from when I first started at FSU.

I still looked like me, Amanda Phillips, but in a way I didn’t. There were features that I couldn’t place in the Amanda category… like the hair and the eyes… or the taller body and the fuller hips. It confused me, but I figured it was just a late growth spurt.

No need to be worried right?

My first month of college had been a roller coaster, but I loved it. I loved college life. I loved the people, I loved the freedom…

And I loved the alone time I got with Devon.

***

I was currently playing with the guitar Trevor had generously given to me, and I had contacted him since then. A few times actually.

I then remembered the song that Devon had told me about the first day we spent together. The one by Gary Allan.

The one that was Rachel’s favorite.

Then as if I had played it a million times before, I began to strum it. I had only listened to the song a handful of times but I knew it like the back of my hand.

I began to sing, “I saw you standing there in the middle of the thunder and lightning…”

It was a pretty good song, and I didn’t know that I could sing this good until I actually started a couple of days ago.

And for some reason I thought about Devon when I continued to play the song.

“Every storm runs, runs out of rain. Just like every dark night turns into day. Every heartache will fade away, just like every storm runs, runs out of rain.”

My voice rang out softly, filling the empty dorm room. Devon wasn’t here at the moment, and I didn’t know when she was going to be back, so I decided to continue to play.

This song… I was starting to understand why so many people liked it. And I started to realize why Devon liked it so much. It was a nice sounding song, and it explained how things will eventually get better with time… or eventually.

Kind of like Devon’s situation.

“It’s gonna run out of pain, it’s gonna run out of sting, it’s gonna leave you alone, it’s gonna set you free…”

Then I heard the door close, and I looked up immediately, seeing Devon’s eyes looking at my guitar. Then she was looking at me, pain clear in her eyes.

I stood, “Devon…”

She held her hand up, “When did you learn that song…?”

I wasn’t going to tell her just now was I? Even though that was the complete truth… I sighed, “I just… uh, Trevor taught it to me.”

She nodded, I could tell it was hard for her. That song held a lot of meaning towards her, and having me sitting there, playing it when she walked in… I knew it was making memories climb back into her mind. She smiled lightly, “Can you continue?”

I smiled, I usually didn’t sing in front of Devon, but she wanted me to, so I had to make her happy.

“Every storm runs, runs outa rain, just like every dark night, turns into day. Every heartache, will fade away, just like every storm runs, runs out of rain.”

“It’s gonna set you free…”

“It’s gonna run out of pain… and set you free…”

I looked up, she had tears in her eyes and she smiled faintly, “I didn’t know you could sing like that.”

I shrugged, “I didn’t either.”

She sat next to me, leaning her head on my shoulder all of a sudden.

Then I caught another flashback.

~O~

I had just finished playing on of my favorite songs for Devon, it was the first time I had ever played for her and I was pretty damn nervous.

She was just staring at me, standing in my doorframe, looking completely shocked.

It was scaring me.

Did she like it? Did she think I sucked? What did she think gosh dangit! Why was she acting so damn weird?

I spoke, “Did you like it or no…?”

She smiled, sitting next to me on my bed, her head resting on my shoulder… “I loved it.“

And that made me smile to.

~O~

Wow… what the…

It was the second flashed back I had gotten… ever. It was obviously longer then the first one, the one with the fight… this one was more vivid to…

I glanced at her, and she was smiling, I knew it was a bitter-sweet moment for her. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, pulling her into me.

“Rachel was probably better, but I thought maybe… it would make you smile.”

She looked at me, “Well it certainly did.”