-AMANDA’S POV-

Algebra was over and I knew Emerson was going to come up to us to remind us, again, about his party tonight. Yes we know you’re in a pointless Frat throwing pointless parties, and we know you’re interested in fucking Devon… but you don’t have to flaunt it.

It pissed me off.

He approached us just like I knew he would and he was joyful, “So you guys still coming tonight or what?”

I mumbled, “Or what…” and Devon jabbed her elbow into my ribs.

“Yea, we’ll stop by for a bit.”

She was acting shy, but I knew she was interested, I mean who wouldn’t? He was gorgeous. His ruffled dark brown hair, his piercing eyes, that striking smile… those muscles… he was sexy. I knew Devon was nervous, and it aggravated me.

“Ok, see you tonight.”

Then he was gone.

I rolled my eyes, “You’re in love with him already or what?”

Sure it sounded bitchy but it pissed me off, I didn’t understand why but all I knew was that it did. I wanted him to back the fuck off and I knew I couldn’t tell her or him that. “No? I’m just nervous… he’s in a Frat, and I know he’s not gonna want to get serious. He probably just want’s to feel me up… and he is gorgeous but… I don’t know.”

And we ended that conversation at that.

***

After my classes were over I was on my way back to the dorm, Devon was most likely still in class or with some of her other friends.

I wasn’t her mom so I tried not to worry about her.

I had gotten almost used to the feelings I had for her, I didn’t want to be with her, that’s for sure, because I wasn’t gay… I. Was. Not. Gay. So I had pretty much been ignoring the feelings, even though they were constantly there.

I had already started on my homework when I heard the door open and in walked Devon, looking cute as ever.

I rolled my eyes to myself.

“Hey,” she threw her stuff on her bed.

I looked up from my laptop and smiled, “Hey…”

“Ready to go to our first Frat party?”

I shrugged, feeling a little uninterested, “Yea I guess.”

She sat next to me and I suddenly became nervous, “What’s wrong?”

I looked at her, her eyes were heavy, dark circles forming under them. I tilted my head, “I could ask you the same…”

She gave me a wry look and sighed, “I didn’t really sleep last night…”

“Why?” She seemed hesitant, like she wasn’t to sure how to answer me, so I comforted her. “You don’t have to tell me if it’s personal… I just want you to know you have a friend in me. I’m here to listen to you.”

She smiled a little at that comment, and I didn’t even know where that even came from. She sighed, “I couldn’t stop thinking about Rachel.”

Now this caught my attention for some reason, and I looked at her, “Why?”

She shrugged, “Last night… the night she died just kept playing in my head. What I could’ve done different… what I could’ve done to just keep her out of Trenton’s truck…”

I unconsciously grabbed her hand to comfort her, and her eyes widened at my touch, “There was nothing you could do Devon… it was an accident.”

She was looking at our hands, and then she nodded, “Yea… I know.”

***

Soon we were walking down the street where all of the Frats and Sororities were, and immediately you could pick out Alpha Sigma.

It was already 10 at night and the house was booming with music. I didn’t really know what to expect, but I was nervous as hell. I had a boyfriend for Christ’s sake!

We walked into the house, immediately being handed a red solo cup and filled with keg beer. I sipped on mine when Devon looked at it, she sighed, “I don’t really drink…”

I shrugged, “One won’t hurt.”

She sipped on it and made a face, “Ugh, beer.”

I had acquired a taste for it my senior year, I went to countless parties with Nelson and all they had was beer, so I was forced to either look semi-cool and drink it, or look like a loser and not.

I looked across the room and saw Samantha and some of her friends watching the beer pong game that was currently taking place. Then I saw Emerson chugging a beer at the table, I rolled my eyes, Go figure… I leaned down to Devon, “Follow me.”

She did and I slowly approached the beer pong table, Samantha eyed us first and her face fell when she saw Devon right behind me. Then Emerson slammed the cup on the table and screamed in victory while the other dude looked as if he was about to throw up.

And he did.

Samantha’s hand touched mine and I looked at her, “Hey! I didn’t know you were coming!”

I nodded awkwardly, “Yea, Emerson invited us.”

She had distracted me and I soon saw Devon and Emerson talking on the side of the pong table. I grimaced to myself. “Emerson Grey invited you to this party? You must’ve really caught his eye, you and Devon are probably the only Freshmen here!”

I shrugged, “He invited us but he really wanted Devon to come.”

She turned and we both looked back at Emerson and Devon once more, Devon was laughing and Emerson was to, looking as if they were having the time of their life. I rolled my eyes, Samantha spoke, “That must be hard for you…”

I looked at her, “What do you mean?”

“You seeing her with him… I can see its hurting you.”

I shook my head, denying the truth, “Samantha… how many times do I have to-”

Her lips were on mine then, she was drunk and I tasted the beer on her lips. I heard whoops and howls from the crowds and how they were… cheering us on? Samantha’s beer was in the air and her other arm wrapped around my neck, pulling me closer.

Suddenly I felt pressured to kiss her back, everyone was watching, and I didn’t want to seem like a loser.

Not at this party.

I began to kiss her back, and she was a good kisser, and then we pulled away from each other. Everyone was cheering for us and I saw Devon’s eyes, she was completely mortified. To be honest, I was to. I couldn’t believe I had actually made out with a girl, with Samantha, someone I barely knew.

Devon was pulled away with Emerson and Samantha whispered in my ear, “So, have you thought about it?”

I looked at her, shaking my head, “Samantha… I’m not gay. I’ve told you that, I just didn’t want to disappoint the crowd.”

She seemed to get really upset, then she grabbed my arm and pulled me into her, making me scared shitless. “I know you’re gay Amanda, I see it in your eyes… I feel the way you kiss me. You want me, somewhere in the back of your head… it’s college, have fun, experience new things.”

I was nervous now, and she was starting to freak me out and pressure me into something I wasn’t sure I wanted. I studied her, her fiery red hair, her full brown eyes, those red lips… she was attractive. Who was I trying to fool? I had turned gay within two weeks… or so it felt like it.

She was pulling me through the crowd toward one of the rooms, “Some with me.”

I could’ve pulled away if I wanted, but I didn’t. Sure I had a boyfriend, and I wasn’t planning on doing anything stupid but she wasn’t forcing me to go upstairs with her.

Then all of a sudden I heard my name, “Amanda?!”

I turned, making Samantha turn around with me, and when I saw who the voice came from… my heart dropped to my knees.

I stumbled, “N-Nelson…?”