**TWO MONTHS LATER**

I was dabbing on my makeup, touching up where the scar on my upper right eyebrow laid, haunting me of that horrid night after graduation.

Nelson was downstairs, sitting in his wheelchair and waiting for me to come downstairs to go to Freshmen Orientation at Florida State. We were going to be a little late but I didn’t care, life was never late, and it was never going to slow down.

I jogged down stairs, meeting him and kissing him on his lips softly, even though things between him and I had been changing for some time now. It was hard, I had to admit that, staying with him was near impossible, but I loved him.

I loved him in some way in my heart still, and I didn’t want to leave him…

I helped Nelson into my car and hauled his wheelchair in the back seat and started my car. Freshmen Orientation, I was excited sure, but the more it thought about it and looking at Nelson in the passenger seat… the more I regretted it.

Why had we left that night? Why did we leave that stupid party? Why did Nelson have to be leaning over and kissing me right that second?

Why had this happened to us?

“Amanda?”

I snapped out of my thoughts, glancing at Nelson and giving him a smile, “Yes baby?”

He seemed to grimace at that, and I felt my heart speed up from the confusion. He sighed, “Amanda… I don’t want to hold you back.”

Hold me back? What was he saying? He wanted to breakup? “Nelson… what? What do you mean?”

I sounded frantic, and in a way I was scared, he was my boyfriend for a year… “I don’t want to hold you back from having a good college experience… finding someone who can give you more then me…”

I shook my head, pulling into a parking lot, “Baby… let’s not have this discussion yet ok?”

He fell silent as I got out the car to retrieve his chair, and helping him into it. So he wanted to end things. No, he didn’t want to end things, he felt like he needed to, for my sake. He didn’t want me to feel obligated to stay with him just because he was in a wheelchair and didn’t want him to feel worse.

We were together for a year though! How could I just up and leave him?

I helped wheel him to the crowd of students and I became suddenly nervous, signing up for dorms were required for freshmen. In a way I was grateful, besides they were free anyway… looking at the clubs and touring the school…

It was all exciting and depressing at once.

Rachel Kidder wouldn’t get to experience this though…

I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling the head pain coming back… it happened frequently, and I blamed it on the wreck.

I would get these thoughts, random thoughts, about Rachel… I hadn’t gone to her funeral because I was still in the hospital but I could just about imagine how that went. A young death was always traumatic…

I would have dreams about this girl, and it wierded me out because I barely knew her.

I just knew her from a party I went to.

An older guy in his late twenties, possibly an alumni, spoke loudly, “We will be starting the tour now!”

Me and Nelson filed into the crowd and then all of a sudden something hit me like a ton of bricks.

That girl, her blonde hair, those piercing eyes… the so sad look written on her face… I felt like I knew everything about her, but the only thing I could recall was her name.

Devon Hall.

I felt a miraculous compulsion to go up to her, like I needed to be next to her.

Why did I feel like this? I didn’t know this girl… but I felt like I had known her for years. I only knew her name, simple, but I felt as if I could sit and tell you her life story.

But when I thought about it nothing resurfaced.

“Amanda? What’s wrong with you?”

I snapped out my thoughts once again and looked down at Nelson, “Nothing… I just uh… sorry.”

We walked through the halls and saw the campus, it was nice, like really nice, and I was excited to start living here.

Eventually the tour was over and I had already signed up for a dorm and paid my fees. Nelson was talking with one of his friends when I noticed her again, she was at the dorm booth, and I felt the need to talk to her.

I didn’t understand why, but in a way I didn’t need to.

“Ready?”

I smiled at Nelson, and I knew he still wanted to talk, but I didn’t. did I want to break up with him? Call it quits after a year of dating? A year just down the drain?

Did I even still love him?

I nodded, “Yea, let’s go home.”

**

I had dodged the talk about breaking up, and it had been a week since Orientation and since I had seen Nelson. Seeing Devon thought… it was driving me insane, like I wanted to see her again. I found myself looking for her at every turn, and when I saw someone that looked like her, I would get nervous…

And I didn’t understand why it was happening.

Why was I so attached to this girl I never even said a word to? What was the connection?

I was currently getting my things together to move into the dorm, and my mom was downstairs putting it into my car. I looked at a picture of me and Nelson, everything in the picture screamed happiness, it was taken months ago, before the accident.

Before my life was completely altered.

I put the picture into my suitcase and rolled it out my room, taking on glance back at my old, empty light blue room. I sighed, this would be the last night I spend here.

I shoved the last of my things into the trunk of my car and my mom was smiling, and actually crying a little. I sighed, “Mom, I’m not going away, I’ll live an hour away from home. Besides, I’m not sleeping at the dorm tonight…”

She shoved me slightly, gently wiping the tear away from her eye, “I know Amanda it’s just… its gone by so quick… and thinking I had lost you all those months ago…”

I hugged her quickly, not wanting her to continue talking about that night. It hurt to much to be honest. “But I’m ok mom… everything’s ok.”

And yes I knew it was a lie, but easing her stress a little was what I wanted to do. Sure I was nervous about living at FSU and me and Nelson were on edge, and I was obsessed with Devon… but other then that I was fine.

Right?

I started on my way to the University and I couldn’t help but wonder about Devon. It pissed me off how she occupied my mind, like she was the only thing I needed to worry about. Why in the hell did I care about her?

It was like every since I saw her that one time… everything changed .

I parked as close as I could to my dorm, I was room L23, or so it said on my key. I tugged my suitcase out first, and started rolling it toward the dorm, thankfully we were only one staircase up, but I discovered an elevator.

It reminded me of Nelson…

When I got to the door I became nervous, What if I have a crazy roommate?

No, don’t think like that Amanda, everything will be ok. I opened the door and found it empty, no one had been here yet.

I was first.

I smiled, so I got to pick what side. I threw my booksack on the right side bed and studied the room. There was no bathroom, so I figured we would have to share the one down the hall, hopefully it was clean. I opened my closet, it was nice sized, not like I had that much clothes anyway.

There was a desk and a night stand on each side of the room. It was plain right now, but eventually it would look nice, I was just praying for a sane roommate.

I began unpacking my clothes, hanging the nice shirts and jeans, assorting my collection of shoes, and then realizing, I didn’t really like or wear any of these clothes.

But I had loved the clothes when I bought them…

I dismissed the thoughts and continued to unpack, and headed down to my car for the rest of my stuff. I was anxious to meet my roommate, and then praying I would end up not having one.

I was nearly finished, I was just making my bed, and soon enough I was done.

I sat on my bed, looking at my side of the room. My closet was full, night stand propped with pictures and books, me desk holding my laptop and school books I had found for my future classes…

Everything looked nice.

I was ready to meet my roommate, but she was taking to long to show. I needed to be back home for dinner, and I watched the clock nervously.

It was already 5:50.

I sighed, turning and picking up my purse to leave, taking one last glance back at my room, half of it still empty.

Then the door opened, revealing the familiar face that I couldn’t stop thinking about over the last week.

She smiled, sticking out her hand towards me, and I was to shocked to even take it as she opened her mouth to speak.

“Hi, I’m Devon Hall.”