I can't explain how much it means to me when one of you lovely angels suggests my works on another book, thank you 🥺

I see you gal, thank you 💗

☽Ⓛ❈Ⓒ☾

I eat lunch on the short brick wall at the front of the house. I have my headphones in and I listen to the news whilst I eat the sandwich I bought this morning.

It's a hot day and sweat beads at the back of my neck. After eating, I take off my t-shirt and start making up some more plaster.

I carry the heavy bucket into the house and take it up to the first room. The windows are wide open, letting in a cooling breeze. I set the bucket down and go over to turn the radio back on. I curse as I spot Maya outside.

She is on the grass, on a sun lounger, in a fucking bikini.

A tiny bikini that's composed of thin string and the smallest fucking triangles I've ever seen.

SHIT.

Is she trying to kill me? What the actual fuck?

My cock twitches in my trousers again and I look down at my crotch in surprise.

Whoa mate, when did you decide to wake up?

I need to get back to work before I go downstairs and start something I'll regret.

The whole time I'm skimming the walls, I can't get the image of her in that bikini out of my head. Her skin is so fucking sexy, it's dark and smooth and I want to fucking lick it. Her breasts, fuck me, her boobs have got me feeling like a horny teenager drooling over a low-cut top.

I stop once to take a leak and glare down at the appendage that has been letting me down for the last year. Ever since that accident, it's just not been the same.

The doctors warned me there might be some side effects that hadn't revealed themselves yet; memory loss, motion control issues, mood changes...none of them mentioned fucking erectile disfunction.

That was a nice little surprise the first time I went back to a woman's flat. I blamed it on the alcohol and an overly-thick condom. The second time, a different woman, I blamed it on the condom again. By the third time, I was shitting myself. My nerves made things worse, I could not get hard for anything.

I tried jerking off by myself, watching my favourite porn categories. Nothing. Not even a twitch. It just lay there limply, being fucking useless.

I didn't tell my doctor for six months, I was so fucking embarrassed. It was humiliating having to mention it in my check-up, but I'm glad I did. He prescribed some Viagra-like pills. They worked when I was alone and I was able to get hard again. That first orgasm after six months felt fucking incredible.

But I still had to pop a pill any time I wanted to beat one out. I didn't wake up with morning wood or get them naturally whilst watching porn. After a month or so, I worked up the courage to try with an actual woman this time, not just by myself.

I'm not a bad-looking guy, I know that. Girls are usually attracted to me. It's the whole bad-boy image, dark hair, blue eyes, tats and muscles, the stereotype. The added edge of scarred, ex-army and labourer makes them wet in an instant, too.

I went out to a bar and easily picked up a woman. She was hot, I fancied her, but I didn't even like her all that much. Her personality was pretty basic and her views annoying, but I wanted to try these pills out.

I'm an asshole, I know.

It all went to shit. I popped two in the bathroom and suggested a nightcap on my balcony. I waited for them to kick in and thank fuck, they did. I got her naked, made her cum a couple times and then donned a condom, ready for the main event.

And I fucking went soft.

Lost it. Completely. Would not come back for love nor money. She was trying everything, using her mouth, her hands, her tits, the lot. Nothing.

It was fucking horrendous. I was so humiliated. I tried to use the alcohol excuse but she wasn't buying it. I lashed out and said she wasn't that hot. I was a fucking cunt to her, I know it.

I kicked her out and I was a dick about it some more. I took my anger out on her and I regretted it so much that I haven't tried to pick up anyone else since.

I'm a fucking failure, damaged in the worst way and an asshole to women to boot. Words cannot express how much I regret this past year. I've fucked up so many times.

I'm avoiding women with them in mind. No wants to date a fuck-up like me and I don't want to hurt any more perfectly nice, innocent people who are looking for a lay I can't give them.

The only good news is that, in the last couple months, I haven't had to take those pills to get hard by myself. I jerk off 2-3 times a week, almost half the amount that I used to before the accident, but at least I don't have medicate myself to get hard.

There was a time that I would be ramrod straight at the thought of an attractive woman. Not anymore. Imagining doesn't do it anymore. I need to watch porn for a good few minutes before I get hard, but I'll take that over not getting hard at all.

I finish up at about five in the afternoon. I clear away the tarps but leave my kit in the room, I'll be back tomorrow so there's no point in taking it home with me.

I find Maya in the kitchen. She's sat at the table on a laptop. Thank fuck she's got some clothes on, now. She's wearing leggings and a t-shirt, neither of which can mask her curves.

She looks up and gives me a genuine smile.

Fuck, she's a sweetheart.

"I'm gonna go now. Is it alright if I leave my things in the room?"

"Yes, of course. Thank you, Joss. What time will I see you tomorrow?"

That fucking voice. I could listen to it all day.

"Can I come earlier? I usually start at 8AM."

"Of course. I like to go for a jog about seven, so I might be a sweaty mess when you get here. Sorry."

She grins at me, like she's not sorry at all. I'm not, either, but I'm worried about how little she's going to be wearing. I can picture her long legs in tiny shorts already.

"No problem. See you tomorrow."

I curse under my breath as I walk out of the house.

You were blunt with her. You should have been nicer.

No. Then she might have gotten the wrong idea. Don't encourage her, Walker.

I take a shower when I get home and wash the dirt and plaster from my skin. I take my cock in my hand and think of how fucking sexy my new client is. Old Joss would have jumped on her quicker than you could blink. But not now, now I'm pushing her away like a coward.

My cock gets semi-hard, which is a surprise. I haven't been able to get hard without porn, so this is new. I can't resist loading up the X-rated website on my phone when I get out of the shower. I lie on my bed on a towel, not even bothering to dry myself off properly before I start fisting my cock.

I get harder with each stroke. The girl in the video bounces on the guy's cock. She rubs her clit and moans too much. I fucking love it.

I can feel myself getting closer to cumming. It builds until it comes out of nowhere. I grunt and my muscles tense as the pleasure hits me. At least that hasn't been affected. My orgasms are still as intense as they always were.

The first jet of cum lands on my stomach and then another, reaching my chest. In a blur of pleasure, I point my cock down, but it's too late. The third spurt flies out and hits me across the chin. I swear loudly as I keep releasing across my stomach.

Fuck sake.

I reach for the tissues, just as the porn video pauses and an incoming call from my sister comes up on my phone screen.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

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I arrive at Maya's house at half seven. I unload my equipment from the back of the truck and start setting up, ready for another day of skimming. I'm well-into my work and only snap out of it when I hear the crunching of gravel underfoot.

I look up and wish to fucking God that I hadn't.

Maya is walking up the driveway, home from her run. Her curls are contained in two space buns and her face is bright red. She's covered in a thin mist of sweat and is panting heavily. She's wearing a sports bra that hugs her perfect tits, shows off her two nipple piercings and her toned midruff.

Jesus Fucking Christ.

She is trying to kill me.

"Morning, Joss! Hold on, I'll unlock the door for you."

I nod hello and try to bring some moisture back into my dry mouth. She walks past me and I check out her bum unashamedly.

Shit.

How did I not notice how fucking perfect her ass is? It almost makes me forget her tits. In those tight workout leggings, her butt is peachy and perfect. I want to grab it as I fuck her.

Fucking hell, calm down, Walker.

It's not even eight o'clock in the morning.

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Okay so he's a little crude and rough around the edges and he's not going to win man of the year or anything, but I really like Joss 🥺😂

I'm sorry if you have a problem with him objectifying Maya. It's worse because it's his POV, he's not saying these things out loud to her or making her uncomfortable. He's actually trying to keep his distance as much as possible because he knows his thoughts are inappropriate ❤️