I haven't been writing much and i apologize. I'm going to continue to break because this story is about being a nymphomaniac. But what's happened recently has changed everything. Sex is so much to me now. It's beautiful. It's so special. I haven't had that special moment, but once. It's two people showing how much they love each other. Everything will be right. The time, the place, the person... The person i had I️t with was so wrong for me. My first love. My first time making love.

But recently I met this girl, her name is four letters. She is perfect. She's warm. She's fuzzy. She is like Sunday morning, when the weekend is over but the day has just begun. Shes like spring into summer. She's like waking up in a comfortable white bed, with the morning breeze coming through the window. Birds chirping. The sun perfectly shining on her skin, showing you all of her. Showing her soul while she's asleep. The sharp curves of her face. Her dark hair messed up but still handsome. She makes your heart throb. She makes it beat as if it's never beat before. Pumping so hard and firm you can feel the love running through your body. The ambrosia.

At first i wasn't sure if this Love was lust or if it was love but I'm sure. Her love is so sweet. She's honey. But the most purest honey. So sweet that i don't ever want to taste anything even again. I melt between her fingers. I drip between them. Fire runs through my veins with her. All of the cliche stuff.

I don't ever feel the desire to have sex or being with anyone anymore. I️ don't know if that's from me having so much loveless sex in the past or if it's her.

Sleeping is hardly satisfying anymore but when she stayed with me and held me, i slept like a baby. I slept so peacefully. Her little arms wrapped around me. So warm. She's the only one i feel that drive of being with physically but i don't feel the need to do I️t now. I want to make love to her. I want to feel her body under mine. I want her scent to stay on my sheets and never leave. Her kisses make me feel like I've ran a mile but the best mile of my life. She makes me love, Love. She makes me want to breathe. She makes me want to be in love again and feel it every day. She's home.

Her daily conversation is what i look forward to most. Her sarcastic tone is so easy going. She makes me feel good about everything. She makes me feel confident no matter how fucking nervous she makes me. She makes me want to listen to love music and sing along with I️t on the radio. I have to keep tasting this creature. The universe sent you to me. You're what I've been waiting for. I never understood happiness in a relationship and how you really love until now.

I've only ever thought i loved one other person. But she has painted all over the carvings he put on my heart with his rusty knife. She splattered her exuberant colors all over my body and i feel so alive.

I love feeling all of this but i am so fucking scared . I'm so scared to feel this. I'm scared to tell her this ever. I'm scared to not be loved back but i don't think that'll be the case. I'm scared to get hurt again. I'm scared to attach myself to someone and let them plant themselves in me again. But i want her to. I want her to thrive and flourish in me so brilliantly. I want those colors on me for eternity. This chapter is to love. To happiness. I'm pulling away by giving her every ounce of me and i don't regret any of I️t.