As I slide my fingers into the waist and of my panties I search through porn. I can't get off based on just thought. I need to physically see sex but what I've noticed is that I need pain. I need to see someone have pain inflicted upon them. It does something for and to me which I don't quite understand but it's very intriguing. I've been touching myself for a very long time and I would always tease myself too. I would get to my point of release and then stop. I like to see how long I can hold out without cumming. But when I finally do cum the pleasure that spreads throughout my body is entirely too much. Sometimes it's amazing. But sometimes if I don't do it correctly it doesn't fully satisfy me. I don't know but as you'll see throughout this book, I have a thing for boys, who's names start with the letter "J". There's just something very masculine and handsome to it.

Now I've decided that I'm going to just tell you about my sexual adventures randomly, no more order. It's my book so I can write about who I want, when I want.

I've chosen to write about this boy because my town has these little parties during the summer and I happened to meet this boy at one of these. He changed my life sexually. Which I thank but hate. When I first met him, three years ago, we were on a boat. He walked up to me and immediately I felt the connection. The way his words rolled off of his lips proved to be poetic. He was so good at getting what he wanted. Now, eventually he took me home and the first time we had sex it was rough and it hurt. It was a good hurt though. He made me realize just how much I love pain. For a long time I couldn't get off without it. I don't exactly remember our first time. It was three years ago after all. But the way this boy touched me was no where near innocent. He touched my body like he would never be able to see the female body again. He kissed me as if I was his favorite candy and he couldn't stop tasting me. I remember the second time though. He picked me up and as soon as I got into the car he kissed me hard. I knew I was in for it. So we went to his house and as soon as we got in there he pushed me in his room and shut the door. He told me to get undressed and that was my favorite thing about him. He took charge. I never had to make the first move. So I listened to him. I took my clothes off. I did it slow because he was staring and he hated being teased. He grabbed me and pushed me against the wall. He quickly pulled Down my pants and realized I wasn't wearing any panties. "Don't make a sound." He warned as he pushed my head against the wall. He got on his knees and put his face between my legs and began to kiss me. My skin was freezing against this wall but I wasn't sure if he gave my goose bumps or the wall did. I couldn't help whimper but every time I did he tapped my ass harder and harder. Each time I'd let out a moan or yelp. I love being spanked. I love giving my partner the power and letting them do whatever they please to my body.

He ate me until I couldn't stand. As soon as I was about to cum he lifted my leg and grabbed my thighs and ate like I was his last meal. I dripped into his mouth like a popsicle on a warm, sunny day. This boy made my entire soul weak. He made my insides turn. Finally when he was done he took off the rest of my clothes and turned me around to face him. "Get on your knees baby, I want your lips wrapped around me." Then he kissed me and watched my get on my knees, not daring to break eye contact. I took him slowly in my mouth, teasing him. I liked when I teased him because he would always punish me or he would beg. Which I liked just as equally. As my mouth kissed his member his eyes poured into mine. He was already so hard, just from pleasing me.

He couldn't take the teasing any longer so he removed my hands and began to fuck my face. My eyes started to water and I tried my hardest not to gag. Hearing his moans made me so wet. After about five minutes he got down and swiped his thumb across my lips and pushed it between them and started while I sucked on his thumb. This was so intimate for me. I was his. I was his to turn inside-out and pervert every inch. I'd never be the same.

Then he grabbed my hair and whispered in my ear "lay on your belly" I did quickly. As soon as I did he let out a groan and got on top. He teased me until I begged for it. Finally he slipped himself in me and I can't explain the feeling that went through me. It was so pure and made my entire body weak. I lost any breathe I had. "Keep quiet for me baby." He whispered as he went deeper. I couldn't even speak. This boy gathered my hair into his hands and put it to the side. He began to go slow and kiss my shoulders. He whispered all of the dirty things he wanted to do to me into my ear. He would ask if I felt okay. I was in so much shock from the pleasure I was receiving, to answer half of the questions. I quickly came again and my entire body began to shake under him. He held me though. This was the closest I had been with anyone. He cared so much for my pleasure and not just his. After I came he pulled out and asked me to turn on my back so I did. He kissed along my chest and went down until he was at my belly button and then looked up and smiled. I was such a mess I couldn't even stay still. My back kept arching and my hips would come up and he'd push them right back down. He was always gentle when we would have intimate nights and I loved it.

Finally he came back up and slide himself back in. I let out a moan that I swear I had been holding onto for the entire night. He was so big and I was still so tinny. I loved how hard he would breathe or the curse words he'd say as he placed himself back into me. My toes were curling and my head was spinning and I couldn't breathe and he had some way of calming me down. I had never felt this before. I had never felt pure pleasure like this. He grabbed my hips and began to have sex with me again. He'd go in and out so slowly and my legs were shaking so bad. I knew I was going to cum again. He kept going at the same achingly slow and teasing pace. "Please make me cum." I gasped pulling the pillow over my face, in fear I would scream. He quickly uncovered me. "Don't hide from me." He warned. All this did was make me want him more. He began to go faster and leaned back to play with my clit. I felt a knot in my stomach and my legs began to shake and I came again but this time so much harder. As he rubbed me with one hand, he put his large hand around my throat. My eyes rolled to the back of my head and I felt toes curl for what seemed to be the millionth time. "Fuck I love your moans."

He didn't stop until I was fully done and then he came quickly after. That's one thing I loved about him. He always made sure I came before he did. He made sure I would never forget that night.