I turned my back on her, facing the wall.

"Can you go please?" I asked her.

She didn't respond, nor did I hear her move from the spot she was standing at.

"Now." I added.

I was acting like a jerk, I know that. But what would you do?

I heard her walk away and tried to look if she was leaving by turning around but I kept my eyes glued to the ground.

I saw that she was leaving so I turned to face the wall again.

"Oh and Safia" I said, "don't you dare tell my mother or sister about this." I finished.

"Or what?" She asked. I felt her moving closer again.

"Hu? What would you do Brody?"

I turned around and said without any hesitation "I will tell your mother and brother about the kiss."

She looked at me with wide eyes.

"What happened to you?"

She was shocked about what I said.

Did I mean it?

No.

Will I tell her brother about the kiss if she tells my mother or sister about the cancer?

Of course not.

That kiss was our moment which nobody can know about.

I needed to threaten her with something didn't I?

"Don't you ever try to talk, text or even look at me again!" She said.

She walked to the door, touched the doorknob with her hand and waited. She waited, like she didn't want to open the door.

"You know Brody" She said, "I can't believe I chose you above my own religion. You were right, I'm your biggest mistake but at least I'm not committing suicide." She finished before opening the door.

Her words kept circling around inside my head. I was laying in bed thinking about what she said but I wasn't able to understand what she meant by "I can't believe I chose you above my religion". I never asked her to choose between me and her religion. That was all her.

I jumped up and grabbed the Quran from my desk. I opened it on chapter 2, where I ended up last time and continued reading. Verse after verse until one particular verse came up.

"And spend in the way of Allah and do not throw [yourselves] with your [own] hands into destruction."

I closed the Quran and threw it lightly across my bed.

I kept staring at it until I eventually grabbed the book and tucked it away in my closet so it was out of sight.

Me reading the Quran was the biggest joke ever. This is ridiculous.

I ran downstairs and opened the front door, I needed some distraction so I decided to jog to take my mind off things.

Every word, every touch and every laughter I had with Safia crossed my mind. What if she was right, what if I was killing myself? I mean, I'm not Muslim.. I recently started believing in God though. What if I indeed will die by killing myself, what would my punishment be by doing so?

I stopped to catch my breath and sat down on a bench. I saw some guys dressed in long dresses walking out of the local mosque. They probably were done praying. I quickly glanced at my watch to check the time. 3 pm. I looked back up and noticed how every guy was walking out of the mosque with a giant smile on their face, laughing and talking like they haven't seen each other for months.

I had never been in a mosque before, what would it be like inside? Even though I deep down wanted to take a look, I wasn't dressed for it. I had a simple t-shirt and some tight shorts on and probably wasn't even allowed to go in.

But something deep down convinced me, it was like the mosque was calling me.

I stood up and decided to give it a shot, even if they don't allow me in, at least I can say I've tried.

"ASalamu Alaikoum." an old man said.

"Oh hey, euhm.. do you mind if I take a quick look inside?" I asked but the guy didn't respond.

"You know what, never mind." I said and turned around.

"Hey wait up!" I heard someone shout.

"I'm sorry, he doesn't speak English.. of course you can come in." the other, much younger guy said.

I followed him as he showed me everything. From the classrooms where they teach young boys and girls about Islam to the room where everyone prayed together.

"Can I ask you something?" the guy said.

I nodded whilst still looking around. Everything was so beautiful and clean.

"Do you perhaps have any interest in Islam?"

How do I respond to that?

If I say yes, he would probably give me a 10 hour lecture.

If I say no, he would kick me out.

"Euhm I don't know, I have a few friends who are Muslim."

He smiled whilst nodding.

"Anyway you're always welcome and if you have any questions, you can find me here everyday." He said and walked away.

"Wait," I said.

"I actually do have a question."

"Yes?" He asked.

"Euhm, if a friend of a friend who is Muslim is diagnosed with cancer and he needs a treatment but decides not to go through with it and instead is waiting for his death." I took a short break before asking the question.

"Yes?" He repeated.

"Is that friend then practically killing himself?" I finally finished.

"It depends, is this cancer cureable and has he the money for the treatment?" He asked.

"Yes" I responded.

"Then yes, he's practically killing himself." He said.

"Okay thank you" I said and walked away as fast as I could. I hope he didn't notice I was actually talking about myself.

..

I ran back home still thinking about what the guy in the mosque said.

As I arrived back home I opened the fridge and reached for a bottle of water. I was pretty thirsty and hungry, especially since Safia ruined my breakfast... at 1pm, but anyway..

"Hey!" I heard someone shout whilst standing behind me.

I closed the fridge and looked behind me.

It was my sister, "what do you want? I'm not in the mood" I said annoyed.

"I know" she said..

Wait what?

"What?" I asked surprised.

"I know Brody.." she repeated.

~~~~

Wait what?? I thought you weren't going to upload until Sunday?!

Guess what, I had some time today so I hope you enjoyed this new chapter!

One love

Xxx

~Edited by R3Hijabi ~