《His Sin》THREE
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1506
¬Amolet
Lev holds his bag of chips toward me, waiting for me to delve my hand in before he pulls it back.
"Don't beat yourself up about it, you've only been working there a week," he mutters while I eat. I sigh through my nose, recalling my rather embarrassing confrontations with Cian recently. Every night I have attempted conversation with him, tempting him to speak, although he hasn't done so yet, not even gracing me with a glance.
It's made me wonder if there's actually anyone in there, like Renna personally theorises. However, I can't quite grasp that idea...I mean, he's a Sin, he cannot be killed so easily, nor lose his state of mind. He's simply ignoring me.
But I'm not going to give up.
"I know," I breathe, the tips of my bare toes brushing up against the surface of the water beneath me. "I just feel like it's my duty to reach out to him."
Lev and I often drive a few miles out of the city to a nearby lake to escape the bustle of the city and to relax in nature. We have been doing this since we were in school, bring snacks down, mostly at night to stare at the stars and share what we desire in life. Recently we haven't been able to do it, with both of us being so busy.
"And you have. But at the end of the day it's just a job, and he put himself in that situation. You don't owe him anything," Lev reminds me, laying back against the wooden dock. I join him, looking up at the glittering canvas of the night sky.
"Doesn't it make you wonder why he did it? Put himself in that situation?" I question into the air.
I'm not sure what it is about this man that has fascinated me so much. There are plenty of patients who cannot speak, yet Cian has taken my interest. Perhaps it's because he is powerful, and he made a choice to enter the facility. I could never imagine living there willingly.
Lev turns his head to look at me, the silvery blue of his eyes similar to the way the stars glimmer. "He's a Sin, he probably knows he's insane."
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"No one at work talks about him," I note. Except Renna, of course, although only mentions him in passing. Everyone else likes to pretend he doesn't exist, avoiding the conversation whenever I bring it up. "They like to pretend he doesn't exist."
"Maybe you should too," he offers, smiling at me lightly. "I'm only saying that because you seem so troubled by him."
"I'm not. I'm just curious," I tell him. I'm used to telling Lev everything, relying on him to hear me out and make sense of everything. This time, though, I don't want to hear him rationalise this, already know it's unreasonable that I'm so drawn to him. Cian must have realised that by now, since everyday this week I've approached his cell and tried to communicate with him to no avail.
He nudges me in the side, making me jump. "Do you need more friends or something?"
"No, you're all I need, Lev," I giggle. And I mean it. Lev has been my main friend for so long, and I adore him. Even if I never found my mate, as long as I have him as a friend, I would be happy. I truly hope the same goes for him.
"Good. This guy isn't worth worrying about," he jokes, although I sense he means it. And maybe he is right.
***
I walk down the dark hallway, book tucked under my arm.
Evening has approached, my shift almost over at the facility. As usual, perfectly on time, I wander down the hallway, glancing into the cells I pass by. Today, I'm taking a different approach to my meetings with Cian, deciding that I'm not going to be able to get him to speak with just me. I need to lure him into, make him trust me.
Pausing in front of his cell, I settle down onto the ground, not minding the hard concrete beneath me. Not surprisingly, he's sitting in the exact same spot, leaning against the wall with his legs outstretched in front of him, staring blankly ahead of him.
Admittedly, every time I lay eyes on him, my heart flutters in the strangest way. He isn't exactly mortal looking, with the golden roots of his hair spilling out into dark ends, dark eyes hiding unspoken secrets and a life far beyond my personal experience. It makes me grateful he is sitting behind those bars, not a threat to me or anyone else in here.
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I sit there for a long moment, wondering what to say. Usually, it's the same mantra I produce, but since it's not working, I want to try something different today.
"You won't even look at me," I murmur weakly.
It's only been a week, and yet I'm sure he can hear the exhaustion in my voice. I've indebted myself to what may be failure. And for what? Even if he does speak to me, risking delving into his life is a dangerous game, being that he is a Sin. Lev has already reminded me of that at every moment he can, still skeptical of me working in the near vicinity of Cian.
If only he knew what I was doing now...
"You can't truly be Greed if you've locked yourself away from material possessions for so long," I note, recalling thoughts I've had since meeting him. He hasn't once asked for anything, which is so out of character for what I assume he is meant to be, as a Sin.
Again, he doesn't acknowledge me, making me sigh. Maybe it's time to give up on this hopeless theory that I can make him speak, that I can try to make his experience here more bearable.
"What if I just sit here, and make you talk to me?" I question. Him and I both know that I'm not going to sit here all night and wait for him to speak, but I can't help myself but to say it. He could sit here for decades without saying a single word.
Just as I was about to look away, his head suddenly turns and he is looking at me, the slightest hint of a frown gracing his usually still forehead. For a moment I'm stunned, words falling short at my lips. I had been considering more ways to get him to speak, but now that he is looking at me, I don't have any more words that feel adequate.
Feeling his gaze on me, knowing he knows I'm here and that there is truly something going on inside his head is daunting. I've spent so long trying to get to this point, and now suddenly I'm started.
Swallowing uneasily, I tuck my hair back over my shoulder, trying to gain some more compsue.
"I was hoping you would talk to me first, but I suppose not," I mutter, holding his gaze with the same intensity as he gives me. "I brought you a book."
His eyebrow quirks, and now I know I've finally got his attention. I'm not sure what made him decide he wanted to finally acknowledge me, but now I have it, I have to get him to trust me. No one, including Renna, needs to know about this. If they do, they will try to reach out to him, and then he will never open up to me.
He watches me cautiously as I show him the front cover of the book. He may not even enjoy reading, but eventually he would have to become so bored he would take anything, right?
"It won't mean much to you, but it was a favourite from my childhood. Very fantastical. If I were bored I would want to read it," I tell him. Sadly, I don't read much anymore.
He doesn't move, as I put my hand through the bars of his cell, resting the book against the concrete floor.
"You don't have to read it," I tell him, suddenly self-conscious that he is judging me. He's a pure-blood immortal who I doubt has any interest reading a child's novel. Regardless, I'll sleep better tonight knowing I gave it to him. "I just hope you see why I'm doing this."
He looks at the book, and then back at me again, the dark ends of his hair raining down into his thick eyelashes.
"Run, Amolet," he breathes, his tone making me shudder. "Before I have to watch this place take your innocence."
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~Midika 💜🐼
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