"Christmas is almost here, are you staying with Tariq's family again?" Heather asks as we walk into the vacant bathroom.

"Yeah," I answer, "Mrs. Araneo has a room all set for me. I just hope they don't do any gifts."

Heather laughs. "Oh, there will be gifts, prepare yourself, she goes all out for Christmas. Girl, wait till you see their house all decorated. It's like stepping into a Christmas Hallmark movie." She smiles. "Mr. Araneo is going to coax you into making struffoli and you'll be cutting long stretches of dough into tiny little pieces."

"I'm guessing he coaxed you into doing it one year?" I ask.

Her eyes dim, losing her usual cheerfulness. "Yeah, Freshman year I was invited over because I couldn't go home. He had Paul and I help him out. It's a weird Italian dessert."

My fingers touch her arm as she gives me a sad smile. "I was crazy about him, totally smitten. We were friends for a while and I was constantly trying to run into him, hang out and stuff. I had no clue he had felt the same way about me. We wasted a lot of time," she whispers, wiping a tear away. "It sucks knowing that."

I pull her into a side hug and she takes deep breaths. "We didn't date long and we only knew each other a little over a year, but I thought he had been it."

My arms wrap around her in a full-on hug. "I'm so sorry, Heather."

"It's such a hard process, you know? I can't date or even think about another guy. Not when I'm still in love with him."

"And that's okay," I reply. The idea of anything happening to Tariq and losing him, makes my chest tighten until it hurts, and taking a breath is difficult. I know I wouldn't be able to move on easily... if ever. "You don't have to if you don't want to. You do what's right by you."

She pulls away her knuckle rubbing over her eye, leaving a trail of smeared mascara and black specs. "The thing is, I've never been so confused in my life. I have no idea what I want to do and I'm a senior. My friends aren't wrong about calling me a spaz cause I can't make up my mind."

My face falls. "Friends like Lana and Crista?"

She snorts. "Yeah, you're not a fan, huh?"

"They aren't nice to you and it bothers me."

I turn to the mirrors and set my makeup bag down, my shoulders relaxing when I notice that God-forsaken zit is gone. Heather rests her head on my shoulder. "I've stopped hanging out with them. I honestly think they used me to climb the social ladder since I seem to know everyone. But you're the only real friend I have. The last time I saw Lana she told me I was being ridiculous and that Paul and I hadn't dated long enough for me to be this torn up about it."

My nostrils flare and throw my eyeliner in the sink. "She said what?!"

"Now don't go all pregnant Elodie hulk on me here." Heather tries calming me with a joke. "After that, I haven't talked to her and I'm done with that friendship."

"I want to kill her. Can I?"

Heather's usually perfectly styled hair is braided in a sloppy french braid and she's wearing slouchy sweatpants with a ratty old long-sleeved shirt. "No, as awesome as that would look."

"Why not?" I question. "You gave Kenny a beatdown. Why can't I give one to Lana?"

She pokes my belly. "Because of that little one in there. Lana plays dirty and I don't want her unintentionally hurting my future nephew or niece."

I glance down at my belly, wondering when I would start showing. My eyes lock back onto Heather's puffy, smeared, tired ones. "I could take her."

She laughs and I'm happy to see her cheeriness return a little. "I don't know, Lana is pretty upset about you and Tariq being an item. She was so shocked, she wouldn't stop talking about it for weeks, which consequently started the end of our friendship."

"Heather, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come between you two."

She bops my nose with her finger. "Nonsense, she was a toxic friend anyways. You didn't come between anything. You did nothing wrong. I knew you and Tariq were going to end up together the day you walked out of your dorm with his jacket on and him holding your hand."

"That was very optimistic of you," I respond. "I'm pretty sure I was the only one who had feelings at the time."

"Ha!" she shouts, her yellow-painted fingernail in my face. "I knew it."

"Yes you did," I say, leaning in and bouncing my head back and forth. "But, Tariq? No way. So again, very optimistic of you."

She cocks a brow. "Girl, I know Tariq. He may not have known it at the time, but you totally had him wrapped around your finger. His eyes never left you despite a dorm crawling with girls ogling him."

My face heats up. "He went out with Becca."

"You almost went out with Ellis," she counters.

"He had his eyes on me because of my black eye and he was only there to get me to go to the dean."

Heather grins and grabs my eyeliner from the sink, handing it back to me. "Those may have been the reason for him initiating those things, but trust me, he liked you even back then, and getting to know you, was what made him fall in love with you."

I can't take the heat anymore. I'm roasting and Heather is grinning crazily at me once again. "Don't ever forget this feeling, Elodie. Hold onto it forever."

Everyone is packing up and Tariq is waiting for me by the door but I motion for him to go ahead. His brows pull together but when I point to Professor Baker, he nods and uses a hand gesture to tell me he'll be waiting outside.

Once everyone has cleared out, I take a deep breath and walk up to her. Professor Baker is packing her bag and her once big round belly is now gone. She had given birth over Thanksgiving break and is back teaching. I thought she'd be on maternity leave but she apparently decided to keep teaching certain classes, ours being one of them.

"Professor Baker?"

She peers up at me, smiling, "Elodie! Excellent job on your last paper. Tariq's was as well. I'm glad you two didn't break up." She ends with a wink, making me smile.

"I had a question for you."

She straightens and gives me her full attention. "What can I help you with? Do you have a question about what we went over?"

"Um, no, it's a little more personal than that."

Without a word she goes over and shuts the door, giving us privacy. "Okay, I'm listening."

I wasn't going to do this, but when I came into class today so many questions popped up in my head. It was as if I had clicked on a bad website and weird ads popped up all over.

"What's it like? Um, giving birth?"

Her brows shoot up and her features twist in surprise. "Not like the movies. Why?"

I bounce on my toes. I could lie and tell her I'm just curious but I'm pretty sure she'd see right through that. "Because I'm pregnant. I don't have a mom to talk to about it and I haven't really gotten the courage to ask, um, Mrs. Araneo."

Understanding dawns on her face and then she smiles. "Congratulations. I have some books I can lend to you. Have you been taking your vitamins?"

I nod. "I have my first doctor's appointment during Christmas break."

"They give you pamphlets and a binder of information. As for birth, each person's experience is different. Some it's quick, others long. I was somewhere in the middle and I have very low pain tolerance so I got the epidural. It hurts though but it's a different kind of pain. A lot of pressure, like a watermelon is bursting out of you, but once that baby is in your arms, you forget all about it... until you have to breastfeed, then the pain comes back. Who all know?"

Wow, that was a lot.

"Just a few, you, Tariq obviously, his family, and my friend Heather. We aren't announcing anything until after Christmas break."

"Well, my lips are sealed and if you have any questions you can come to me or email me, even call if you have to." She hands me her card with her phone number on it. "I also think you should build up the confidence to ask Tariq's mom and maybe see if she'll be with you during the birth. It helps to have someone who's been there before with you."

"Thank you. I'll get up the gumption to ask her. I think after my first appointment I'll feel a little better."

She smiles. "Congratulations, Elodie. You're going to have a very beautiful and healthy baby."

"Thank you."

She walks me out, saying, "If you have any questions, please contact me. I'm sorry I can't talk longer but I have to get back to my baby and a husband who is probably thoroughly enjoying his snuggle time."

Professor Baker and I go our different ways and I'm now even more nervous after asking her.

What's an epidural? How bad is the pain? Will I blackout?

I need to ask Tariq's mom.

I also need to google search stuff tonight.

Maybe Heather and I can make it weirdly fun?

Arms wrap around me, ones I'm not familiar with, and I'm lifted up in the air then set back down. Turning around, I see Kyle, the basketball guy Heather had thrown her smoothie at.

"Elodie, how's it been? I haven't seen you in a while. I heard about your breakup with Tariq." I go to tell him Tariq and I are still together but like last time he keeps talking over me. "Well good riddance to that a-hole. Anyway, I thought you and I could go out sometime. I have a game coming up. You can come see me in action. It's a lot more exciting than hockey."

Does this guy ever shut up?

"Actually, Kyle-"

"Hey, let's go somewhere now? How about my place and maybe we can have some fun?" He starts pulling my wrist and it hurts.

Crap!

Where did Tariq go?

I peer around but don't see him anywhere. I've finally had enough and rip myself out of Kyle's grasp.

"Will you knock it off? Why would I go to your dorm with you when I barely know you? And for the record, Tariq and I are still together."

Kyle's face clouds over. "You really think he's going to keep you around? He dated freaking Cass Ganger! Don't get me wrong you're cute and fluffy and all."

Fluffy?

"But he has a type and it's not you." Kyle holds his hands up at my hurt expression, brows heavy and stressed, eyes watering, and my teeth nibbling on my bottom lip. "You're definitely my type though. I think you're super cute and seem like a fun person. I just think we'd make a better pair."

This is the second time someone has said this to me.

Tariq said he loved me and that he never truly loved Cass, but will that love last? Will I always be able to hold his attention if a girl like Cass couldn't? If there was no baby would he still want me?

My emotions are all over the place and I'm crying already. It's like pregnancy has made me an easily breakable dam that beavers abandoned halfway into building.

I should trust Tariq.

And I do

But this still really hurts to hear.

Kyle, seeing my tears, takes that as an open invitation to touch me again. And pregnant Elodie does not like to be touched. Only one person has that right and he is missing for some reason.

The second Kyle's arms wrap around me, I tense and then push him away but he refuses to let me go.

Panic startled building up and a claustrophobia I never knew I had, grips my heart with iron fingers.

"Let me go," I beg.

"No, I don't like seeing you cry for that guy."

"Tariq is not the reason I'm crying and I don't like you holding me, so stop it. Stop it!" I scream the last part out.

"God, fine you crazy... you know what!" His arms snap away right as I push myself away from him.

My heart stalls as I fall back and I have nothing to hold onto, especially since Kyle stepped back with his arms up.

My fingers brush the little plastic button on his shirt that is my last hope. A fear I've never know grips me. I'm about to fall back and most likely hit the back of my head on the pavement, yet all I can think about is my baby.

Just as I'm about to scream and meet the pavement, Kyle grabs me... laughing! But his laughter is cut short as big arms I know so we'll grab me, shielding me, and yanking me away from Kyle.

My heart is ready to burst and my ears ring as Tariq's hold tightens around me. My breathing is frantic and I take big gulps of air, but it's Tariq's shaking the oddly calms me.

"Tariq?" I barely manage out through my thick throat.

"I thought..." his voice cracks, "oh my God, Blue." My hand grips his wrist, squeezing it as his voice drops, and then roars to the point it shakes every part of me, "I'm going to kill you!"

Kyle steps back chuckling. "Dude, she's fine chill."

Tariq doesn't listen and one second Kyle is standing there laughing, the next his stupid goofy face falls. Tariq grabs him by the collar, yanking Kyle up to his height while simultaneously cocking his arm back and smashing his fist into Kyle's face.

I'm so shaky from almost having a very lethal fall that I stand there wide-eyed, my hands covering my mouth as Tariq beats the living snot out of Kyle.

The sound of a fist hitting flesh is a lot more unsettling in real life than in action movies and Tariq's knuckles become bloodied. Whether it's his blood or Kyle's, I don't know.

But then something snaps and I realize this is bad, Tariq could get kicked off the team. "Tariq, stop!"

Like lightning Beau comes out of nowhere with Rasheed right behind him, pulling Tariq off of Kyle. "I'm going to kill him! He could've killed her!"

Winston joins in and is able to keep Tariq away from Kyle who's barely able to stand. Blood dripping from his nose and one eye slowly shutting. But that doesn't stop the idiot from running his mouth. "I had her but, man, if I didn't, you would've had to seen another person die in front of ya."

This time it's Rasheed who starts beating down Kyle and Beau now has to get him off. Meanwhile, Tariq is yelling and Winston is struggling to keep him contained.

The veins in Tariq's neck bulge, his face red and strained from his screaming and promising death. I run over to him and get in his line of vision, grabbing his hand and bringing his attention to me.

"I'm fine. I promise, I'm okay," I say quietly.

His breathing starts to calm but then he pushes Winston off. Thinking he's going for Kyle again I turn my head to see if he's still there but Tariq's hand cups my face pulling me back to him.

He kisses me.

Hard.

Unforgivingly.

The taste of him silences all the chaos around me and a love I've never felt before unfurls in me, taking over all my senses as I kiss him back.

He pulls away, his forehead on mine, hands gripping my face, giving me opened mouth kisses as if he can't stop himself. "I can't have anything happen to you. I love you, I love you so much, Blue."

And I cry, my salty tears adding to our kisses.

Love you all!

LivingRed