《I'm An Idiot》9
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Your hands were still holding onto his cheeks when the words left your mouth. It didn't even sink in that you had practically confessed your inner feelings to Jungkook until you saw his eyes widened in shock at your confession, cheeks painted a light pink.
An awkward silence took place between both of you.
Jungkook opened his mouth to say anything, but he was basically stunned speechless that he didn't know how to react at all. So, he remained still like a potato. Meanwhile, you were the opposite.
You had released your hold on the guy as though you were holding a hot potato. You were a mess as you opened and closed like your mouth like a fish out of water, stuttering and fumbling over your words as you tried to explain yourself.
"I-I was just...I mean I don't love you...wait, I do!" You gestured wildly towards your still shock best friend who stood there unmoving. "I mean I don't! I don't love you at all! What you just heard was just me babbling nonsense! What I meant is I love you as a friend!"
You were resembling a tomato right now with the way how red your face was. Nervous laughter left your lips as you rubbed your neck out of pure embarrassment and awkwardness.
Mentally-wise, you were blaming yourself for being so caught up in the moment that you had confessed your feelings for Jungkook, something you had sworn not to do ever.
The awkward silence only became more prominent as your best friend showed no reaction at all. By this point, you were ready to throw yourself into the sea and drowned to death so that you wouldn't have to suffer through the embarrassment.
Another minute or two passed before Jungkook finally spoke up, his voice barely above a whisper. "Is it true?"
"Erm, whatever do you mean?" You let out a nervous chuckle. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Brown orbs narrowed, his lips etched into a frown. "Don't lie to me, (Name). You know what I mean."
You winced at the slight acidity in his tone and knew it was useless to lie to your best friend. Fixing your gaze on a spot behind Jungkook because you were too much of a coward to look him in the eyes and answered him truthfully.
"Yes, I do love you – more than a friend."
From the corner of your eyes, you noticed an unreadable look on the brunette's face as he stared at you, his lips still set into a frown. You weren't sure if that was a good sign or not, but you were too afraid to ask.
Instead, both of you stood there in silence – neither saying anything to each other.
It was only when you could no longer bare the male not responding and just staring intensely at you, you were the first to break the silence. (E/C) eyes held desperateness as you pleaded with Jungkook.
"Jungkook, please say something, anything at all. Even if it's to tell me that you hate me." You begged. "It's better than you not saying at all."
You could feel the tears gathering in your eyes, making them glossy. Jungkook must have noticed it because his eyes widened slightly and for a moment, you thought he was reaching out to you.
However, you must have just imagined it because he bit his lips, sympathy glimmering in his eyes. "I-I need time to think about what you said. I'm sorry (Name)."
With that being said, Jungkook turned on his heels and walked away, the distance between you and him widening with each step he took. You felt your heart shattered into a million pieces as you stared at his retreating back until he was no longer within your sight.
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You didn't realize you were crying until your vision became blurry.
"Eh?" You were slightly taken aback, a hand lifting towards your face to touch your wet cheeks. "Why am I crying?"
You wiped away the tears, but it just kept falling like raindrops. That night, you stood there by the seaside in the darkness, crying your heart out because there was no one there to see the tears.
All that could be heard was the sound of the waves crashing against the pier.
It was 3 in the morning when you decided to return home. The sound of the front door could be heard unlocking as you entered the house, quietly shutting the door since it was already late at night.
You removed your shoes and placed them neatly on the floor, ironically next to Jungkook's shoes. The lights on the first floor were off which told you everyone was already probably asleep.
A tired sigh left your lips as you climbed the stairs and made your way up to your shared room with Jungkook. Honestly, being in the same room as the brown-haired male was the last thing on your list. However, you didn't have a choice because all your belongings were in the room.
The door slowly creaked opened and you poked your head in, turning left and right to check if Jungkook was in the room. In the darkness, (e/c) eyes landed on a lump lying on the bed and let out a sigh of relief when you saw the rising and falling of Jungkook's body – telling you that he was fast asleep.
Tiptoeing so you wouldn't create any unnecessary noise that might wake up the brown-haired male, you grabbed your pyjamas and entered the bathroom to change. You forgo showering since it was quite late at night already and figured you could just do it in the morning when you wake up.
After dumping your dirty clothes in the laundry, you approached the bed and slowly lifted the blanket on your side before sidling underneath the cloth – your back facing Jungkook.
As you laid there in the darkness, you willed yourself to fall asleep, but it was impossible because of how consumed your mind was with your thoughts about today's events. There was so much you wanted to say to Jungkook, yet the opportunity wasn't given to you since your best friend left so suddenly.
Biting your lips in contemplation, you glanced over your shoulder to double check that he was really asleep. Although, you didn't relax until you heard the even breathing that told you the male was still sleeping soundly.
You turned to lay on the other side so that you were facing Jungkooks' back and a small smile appeared when you saw his back that had been your anchor for the past one year or so.
Memories with the man that you loved flooded your mind and you found yourself reaching a hand out towards him, only to pull back at the last minute. You held your hand to your chest, cradling it as tears gathered in your eyes once more.
Forcing yourself not to cry, you sniffled quietly and wiped away the tears harshly. Before you knew it, you found yourself pouring your heart to Jungkook even though he was dead to the world.
"It's because of this very reason that I kept my feelings from you." Tears dripped, staining the white pillow sheet a dark colour but you didn't make a move to wipe away your tears. "I'm afraid of rejection and ruining our friendship. Funny thing, everything that I've been avoiding came true because of my babbled mouth."
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You let out a shaky laugh and went on. "As much as I want to be something more with you, I'm contented with just being friends if it means I can stay by your side for a long time to come."
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you forced yourself to go on. "But I don't regret loving you – as more than a friend."
With that, you turned over with your back facing Jungkook once more and silently cried yourself to sleep. If you had paid more attention, you would had realized that a certain brunette was awake and had heard everything you said.
The afternoon sun bathed the room with a warm glow as a groan escaped your lips, burying your face into the pillow due to the sheer brightness scalding behind closed eyelids.
Your eyes felt crusty from last night crying as you struggled to open them, wincing at the unpleasant sound. Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you let out a yawn and stretched your entire body – feeling satisfied at the popping sound of your bones.
"What time is it?" You mumbled incoherently but was meant with no reply. Turning to the left side on Jungkook's side of the bed, you noticed it was empty and yesterday's event all came crashing down on you.
You had unintentionally revealed your true feelings to your best friend and in doing so, it had caused him to run away. Suddenly, you felt even more tired than before even though you had slept decently.
You were emotionally drained.
A deep sigh left your lips as you checked your phone and realized it was already past noon. You must have slept in after going to bed at about 4+ in the morning last night.
Getting out of bed, you decided a bath was required at the moment. So with that, you grabbed a new set of clothes on the way to the bathroom and hopped into the shower – welcoming the hot water.
Time skipped
After putting on some light make up so that you don't look like the walking dead, you finally emerged from your room and made your way downstairs to the kitchen where hopefully your lunch awaited you.
"Ah, (Name)! I'm glad to see you're finally awake." Mrs Jeon happily greeted you as she paused in her washing and guided you to the table. "I left you some lunch since I wasn't sure when you'll be out of bed."
Giving the kind woman a grateful smile, you thanked her and took a seat. "Thank you, Mrs Jeon. I thought I was forgotten."
"Nonsense!" Mrs Jeon tutted. "How could I forget about my son's girlfriend? What kind of mother will I be then?"
Your smile became strained at the mention of Jungkook and quickly dug into your lunch so that his mother wouldn't question the pinched look on your face. You were enjoying the delicious cooked lunch by Mrs Jeon while listening to her talk, inputting your own comments here and there.
"Mom! Have you seen dad's spectacles? He can't find them again!"
Jungkook's voice entered the kitchen, causing you to freeze – spoon in mid-air with wide opened mouth. The said male also froze upon entering as his eyes landed on you seating at the table.
Both of you had a stare down as neither of you said nothing, just looking at each other with wide eyes. You could feel your heart accelerating as an awkward silence filled the air, unsure of how to react to each other's presence.
Thank god for Jungkook's mother who was oblivious to the tense atmosphere between the both of you. "Did you tell him to check if it's at his office room? If not, it may be in our bedroom."
Clearing his throat, Jungkook diverted his gaze away from you and gave his mother a forced smile, mumbling thanks before scurrying out of the kitchen. You released a sigh of relief that you didn't realize you were holding it in and turned your attention back to your lunch, finishing up the remaining food.
Once your bowl was cleared of any rice, you pushed back your chair and stood up. You carried your empty bowl and utensils to the sink, placing them inside for washing up until Mrs Jeon cut in saying that she could do it herself.
"But Mrs Jeon –" You tried to protest but the middle-aged cut you off, taking over your position at the sink.
"It's alright, dear. I can wash them for you." She shooed you away. "Go spend some time with Jungkook!"
There was a doubtful look on your face, but you didn't want to argue with the older female. So, you thanked once more before exiting the kitchen and to the living room where you noticed a certain brunette was absent.
Glancing around the room with a frown, you asked. "Where's Jungkook?"
Seokjin who was cuddling with his fiancée on the sofa paused the movie they were watching and turned to you with a raised brow, answering your question. "He's currently out with Taehyung. Didn't he tell you?"
"Apparently he didn't." Your frown deepened, your gut feeling telling you the said male was avoiding you.
You left the couple to their movie and headed upstairs to your room to grab your necessities before leaving the house. You thought to yourself maybe a walk around the neighbourhood would clear your mind.
Me time sounded like a cup of tea that you needed now.
The neighbourhood in Busan that Jungkook grew up in was a small and peaceful one where the residents of the community knew each and every one. People greeted you with friendly waves and smiles which you happily returned.
Suddenly, a waft of (f/d) filled your nose and you found yourself following the aroma to a quaint cafe just a few streets down. The bell tinkled as you pushed the door and entered the café, letting the staffs know that there's a new customer.
Walking up to the cashier, you skimmed through the menu on the wall and settled on an (f/d). You placed your order and paid the staff who informed you to take a seat first and they would serve you your drink once it was done.
Nodding your head in thanks, you made your way to a table tucked away in the corner of the café but still gave you a nice view of the streets. Your order arrived and soon, you were sipping away happily – enjoying the various people walking past the café.
"(Name)? What are you doing here by yourself? Where's Jungkook?" came a familiar voice.
You glanced up and was surprised to see Namjoon standing in front of you, his brows raised in confusion. Giving the tall man a small smile, you replied. "Surprise seeing you here, Namjoon-oppa. As to answer your question, Jungkook's currently out with Taehyung-oppa. So, it's just me and my (f/d)."
As to prove your point, you lifted your cup containing your (f/d). Namjoon's lips curled into a smile, gesturing to the empty seat next to you. "May I join you?"
Your smile widened, delight at the thought of having company. "Of course. Although, I suggest you get something for yourself. It's a perfect day for a good chat over some drinks."
The blonde chuckled and sent a wink your way, causing you to giggle. "Maybe I should take up on that offer. I'll be right back."
Cradling the cup in your hands, you waited patiently for the said male to return which didn't take that long. Soon, both of you fell into an easy, but comfortable conversation.
"Is that why you are called the God of Destruction?" You laughed after hearing Namjoon telling you about his tendency of breaking things with just a single touch.
"That's what the guys call me after I broke my sound speaker," Namjoon replied, sipping his drink.
A laughter escaped, and you wiped away the tears that had gotten there because of how hard you were laughing. Namjoon was grinning, showing off his dimples. You calmed down and finished the remaining of your drink, smacking your lips cleaned.
(E/C) eyes were fixated on the now empty cup, your voice seemingly quieter than before. "Thank you. I really needed that."
The grin morphed into a confused frown as Namjoon placed his cup down and gave you his undivided attention. "What do you mean by that? Is everything alright, (Name)?"
You sighed, unsure of whether you should share your trouble with the older man since you would have to tell him the truth about your relationship with Jungkook. You were afraid that he would confront the younger male about and it was the last thing you think.
Namjoon took your hesitation as a sign of unsureness. Placing a comforting hand on yours, he gave you an assuring smile. "Hey, it's alright if you don't want to share. I'll just company you if that's all you need now."
Shaking your head, you glanced up at the man with a grateful smile. "It's okay. I need to get this off my chest anyway. But promise me that whatever I'm about to say, it's just between the two of us."
The blonde nodded his head, his eyes showing he understood. Taking in a deep breath, you plunged straight into your story – starting from the very beginning. You told him about the favour that Jungkook had asked of you and what transpired last night as well.
"So, now I'm a loss on what to do because I'm 100% sure I've ruined our friendship beyond repair and Jungkook's avoiding me like the plague." You smiled sadly, heart aching at that thought.
Namjoon hummed thoughtfully, letting what you said sank in. However, what piqued his interest the most was the favour you had one-sidedly agreed to when approached by Jungkook. "Are you telling me you're in a fake relationship with Jungkook?"
You winced slightly at the way how the older man put it. "Yea...but please don't tell anyone! It was supposed to be just between me and Jungkook."
Namjoon nodded his head, but that didn't he approved of it. "I already promise I won't tell anyone, but that doesn't mean it's a nice thing to do – lying to everyone around you."
"I know it isn't." You hung your head in shame. "At the same time, I can't say no to a friend who has approached me for help."
You felt a hand on your head, gently ruffling your hair. Looking up, you were met with kind eyes. "I'm sure Jungkook who have the done if he was in your shoes."
The corners of your mouth lifted into a smile.
Namjoon moved his hand away from your and back to his side, remembering your predicament with Jungkook. Being the wise person that he was known for, he decided to give you some advice in hoped that it would help you.
"As for your case with Jungkook, give the boy some time." The blonde begin. "After all, his heart has been broken once before by someone he loved. It'll take a while for him to think this through carefully in fear of going through the same thing again."
You frowned, but nonetheless nodded your head in understanding and thanked the older male.
For the rest of the day, both of you enjoyed the afternoon – talking over a cup of your favourite drinks.
Meanwhile, in the far distance, a certain brown-haired male was watching both his friends interacting with one another, smiling away without a single care of the world. The entire time, there was a displeased frown on Jungkook's face as he saw the way how you lit up as you laughed at something Namjoon had said.
He was not one bit happy at all.
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