《I'm An Idiot》8
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"Before you, Jungkook had a girl who he loved very much betrayed him by taking advantage of him for her own selfish gains."
Hoseok's words plagued your mind and no matter how hard you tried to forget about it, you couldn't seem to get rid of it. A sigh left your lips as your legs took a mind of its own, simply just walking with no destination in mind.
The sound of waves crashing against the shore that caused you to snap out of your reverie and your head lifted, surprise to see where your body had brought you to. It was the pier that Jungkook had shown you on your second day here in Busan.
You were slightly puzzled as to why your subconscious had brought you here, but you chose not to question it. Instead, you walked to the edge of the pier and removed your shoes before taking a seat.
Humming a tune, you enjoyed the sunset view as the sea lapped at your feet, washing away the soreness from walking around the whole day. As much as you loved spending time with your new friends, it's always nice to have some alone time to yourself.
The serenity and peace of the beach allowed you the space to think with no distractions and you mulled over what Hoseok and Yoongi had revealed to you earlier on while out shopping.
You had only known Jungkook for a year, maybe slightly more and knew many things about him – such as his dislikes and likes, his small habits – the little things that you noticed after being around him for so long.
You even knew about his future since the two of you had a conversation about it not too long ago. However, you didn't know his past. The sort of life he led before bumping into you in the university hallway.
It wasn't in your business to know, yet you couldn't help but wonder from time to time. What was the Jungkook like before you knew him? Was he always full of smiles? Did he have a habit of wrinkling his nose like a bunny whenever he was excited about something?
Most importantly, did he had another girl who he was supposed to close to like he was with you now?
A sigh escaped your lips as you felt troubled by what Hoseok had said. You felt unsettled by his words, to be honest, but you were too afraid to ask more than what you had already been told.
Besides, it wasn't in their place to tell you Jungkook's past, so you didn't press for more even if you were tempted too.
Placing a hand into your pocket where it held the ring that you had bought for your best friend, you took it out and held it in front you, the metal glinting in the evening sun.
Twisting the ring between your thumb and index finger, you couldn't help but wondered if Jungkook would like it or not. 'Should I've maybe have brought another colour instead of black? Also, is the engraving too cringy even if it kinda fits him?'
You were so deep in your musings that you missed the sound of footsteps coming from behind you.
"Well, if I have known you'll be here instead of somewhere else, I'll probably won't be running around the whole of Busan trying to locate the whereabouts of my girlfriend."
A startled yelp fell from between your lips, nearly dropping the ring. Even without turning around to see who it was, you knew it was Jungkook from his voice alone. Standing behind you was none other than your best friend who was currently smirking at the fact he managed to scare you.
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There was a scowl on your face as you said, "Couldn't you've announced your presence nicely instead of creeping up on me like that?"
"Where's the fun in that?" Jungkook grinned and walked up to you, taking a seat next to you.
You scooted slightly over so that the brown-haired male had enough space to seat. The pier was just nice where it could fit two people, although your shoulder had a tendency of brushing against Jungkook's whenever you moved your body.
"You're such an ass, you know that right?" You punched Jungkook's arm, glaring at him.
"Ow." Jungkook teasingly said, rubbing his arm but you knew he felt no pain because you could see the amusement dancing in his eyes.
You stuck your tongue out childishly at him who rolled his eyes at you, before turning your attention to the scene in front of you. Other than the sound of seagulls calling in the distance and waves crashing against the shore, it was silent between both you and Jungkook.
The two of you just sat in comfortable silence, enjoying the view of the sun setting in the horizon – painting the sky in a beautiful gradient of red, purple, pink and orange. A small smile graced your lips as you revelled in the peace that always accompanied whenever you were around Jungkook.
When the sky had turned dark as stars dotted the vast space like diamonds with the moon reflecting in the sea than did Jungkook broke the silence.
"(Name)." The brown-haired male hesitantly called out to you, his eyes fixing on your side profile.
"Hmm?" You hummed, showing that you were paying attention.
"Earlier on, I saw you with Hoseok-hyung and Yoongi-hyung talking about something. I was about to cross over and asked you myself, but you had already left." Jungkook was unsure on how to approach with asking you a question, but he pushed his nervousness aside and pressed on. "Do you mind if I asked what it was about?"
When you didn't say anything after a while, Jungkook took your silence as a no. "It's alright if you don't want to talk about it. I'm just curious that's all."
Shaking your head, you faced the brunette with an assuring smile, saying that you didn't mind it at all. "It's not what you think. I'm open to talk about it. It's just I'm thinking of how I can word it without appearing intrusive since it was about you."
Jungkook fixed you a confused frown. "Intrusive? What do you mean?"
"I was shopping for something when Yoongi-oppa and Hoseok-oppa appeared at the shop. Everything was fine until Yoongi-oppa asked me a question that took me by surprise." You took a deep breath before continuing since this was when things got serious. "He asked me a simple question, yet I could feel the weight of it."
"What did he ask?" Jungkook implored.
Focusing your attention on the calm sea in front of you, you continued. "He asked me why I liked you and when I told him the reason why he seemed satisfied by my answer for some unknown reason. So, when I asked why he wanted to know, Hoseok stepped in and told me about how there was a girl before me that took advantage of you."
You didn't have to look at Jungkook's face to know what his reaction was. The way how his body stiffened next to you, accompanied by the tense silence, told you all that you need to know his reaction.
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No one said anything for the next few minutes. You were starting to regret telling the truth, but you did promise yourself that you would never hide anything from Jungkook because he's your best friend.
Okay, maybe except for your feelings towards him.
For the first time since you became friends with Jungkook, you felt awkward around him which had never happened before. Twiddling your thumbs, you fixed your eyes on your feet, watching with forced interest as the water covered up till your ankles due to the high tides at night.
Both of you just sat there in an uncomfortable silence as each of you were deep in your thoughts. You glanced at Jungkook out from the corner of your eyes and noticed the tightness in his jawlines, wondering what was going through his mind currently.
You weren't sure how much time had passed but guessing from how high the moon was glowing in the night sky, it was quite late at night already. Everyone was probably worried about the whereabouts of you and Jungkook, so you decided to head home.
You stood up and dusted off any dirt on your pants. Since your feet were still wet from dipping into the sea, you decided to walk back barefoot. Besides, the house wasn't that far from the beach so you would be free from any danger of injuring yourself.
"We should probably head back before Jin-oppa panicked, thinking that we're lost and called the cops on us." You joked, trying to lighten the tense mood.
You barely took a step forward when Jungkook spoke up, his voice barely above a whisper. "You're the first girl in a long time that I allowed myself to get close to."
You froze when you heard his confession, your heart pounding in your chest. Turning around to look at the male, his head was downcast, hiding his face from you. However, you knew he was trying his best to be honest with you even if he didn't want to base on how tightly his hands were clenched into fists.
Remaining silence, you walked back to where Jungkook was and took your seat next to him once more. You waited patiently for your friend to gather his thoughts, humming a tune underneath your breath to pass time.
Another minute passed before Jungkook spoke up again. "Before you, there's another girl. She was just as bright as you, like a flame that could never be snuffed out. I found myself growing attached to her and before I knew it, I had fallen for her."
Jungkook lifted his head to look at you, his lips curled into a small smile as he thought of his past love. Your stomach twisted at the fact that another girl had Jungkook's affection which you had been secretly desiring all this time.
You shoved that thought aside, reminding yourself it was about Jungkook and not you. You can dwell on it later on when you're alone.
Noticing that the male had gone silent, you slightly nudged his shoulder, gently encouraging him to go on. Jungkook fixed you a grateful smile as he continued his story of a past unknown to you.
"At first, everything was what I imagined our relationship to be – pure and innocent. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. However, things took for a sour turn when Jimin-hyung approached and told me the truth." The brown-haired male exhaled shakily, tears pricking in the corners of his eyes. "Apparently, I had been caught in a lie all this while. I had thought she had genuinely loved me since she was so eager to be with me. When in actuality, the only reason she got together with me was so that she could use me as an excuse to be closer to Jimin-hyung."
Your heart broke at his next few words. "I wasn't the one she was in love with, instead it was Jimin-hyung."
He tried to hold in his tears, but his eyes betrayed him, and a tear fell as a choked sob escaped between his lips. Soon, tears were falling like raindrops, becoming one with the sea.
Heartstrings tugged for the man who you loved, wanting to take away his pain and sorrow from him so he would never shed another tear for a girl who didn't deserve him. However, you knew it was impossible because a wound left by the one he loved would forever remain as a scar in his heart.
Instead, you brought your best friend into your embrace, carding your fingers through his brown locks as an act of comfort. Immediately, Jungkook clung onto you like a child to his mother, his hands clutching the front of your shirt tightly. His face was buried into your chest as he cried, not caring if his tears stained your shirt.
At that moment, he acted like you were his lifeline and held on, afraid that you would slip through his fingers.
The only sounds that could be heard in the quiet of the night were Jungkook's sobs as he cried his heart out and the calm waves caressing the shore. You sat there for as long as Jungkook needed, humming a tune to fill in the lack of conversation between the two of you.
Right now, what Jungkook needed was the comfort a friend and not words that probably were meaningless in this situation. And, you were fine with it.
You simply revelled in the quietness, giving the brown-haired male all the time he required to calm down. Besides, it was not like you had anywhere else to go other than home.
Ten minutes later, there were no more tears left for Jungkook as he had cried himself dry. Sobs turned to sniffles and Jungkook pulled himself away from you, giving you a wry smile as he dried his tears.
"Here, let me help you." You crooned, using the sleeve of your shirt to wipe away the remaining tears.
Your best friend said nothing, just staring at you drying his tear-stained face. You pulled away, satisfied with your job, a small smile on your face. Looking at Jungkook, you ignored the intensity of his stare.
There was a flutter in your heart.
"We should probably head back. It's late at night already." You mumbled, checking the timing on your phone.
Jungkook still said nothing and neither did he made any effort to move, remaining like a statue on the pier. When you noticed he wasn't moving, concern overtook you. "What's the matter, Jungkook? You aren't saying anything."
His stare became more intense, brown orbs boring into your soul. A shiver crawled up your spine.
There was thick tension in the air that a knife could slice through it as you returned Jungkook's gaze, except confusion and concern, were reflected in your own eyes, unlike your friend whom you couldn't seem to decipher the unknown emotion in his eyes.
You began to feel slightly uncomfortable from the atmosphere in the air as well as Jungkook's endless staring. Squirming, you tore your eyes away from the male's face and fixed your attention on somewhere else.
"E-Erm, is there something on my face?" You winced, mentally cursing yourself for stammering.
Instead of a verbal reply, Jungkook leaned forward until both your noses were touching. (E/C) eyes widened at the close proximity and tried to remain nonchalant about it. Although, you were panicking on the inside.
'Does he not know what personal space is?!' You mentally screamed. 'This is way too close for my comfort!'
Heat filled your cheeks and you didn't have to look in a mirror to know that you were blushing like mad. Due to the close distance, you were drowning in those magnetized eyes, casting a spell over you.
You could no longer handle the overwhelmed of emotions you were feeling, and you felt like you could faint any time. So, you squeezed your eyes shut and prayed that Jungkook returned your personal space to you.
However, your prayer wasn't answered.
"(Name)..." Your best friend murmured in a low tone. "Open your eyes and look at me."
You shook your head so hard you wouldn't be surprised if it popped off your neck. "N-No!"
Your heart threatened to jump out of your chest when a large palm held your chin, a thumb rubbing slowly on your bottom lip. You were certain you were going to die of a heart attack pretty soon if Jungkook doesn't stop what he's doing.
"Open your eyes and look at me. Don't make me repeat myself." Jungkook's voice took on a darker edge. "You should know how I don't like it when people make me repeat myself."
Shuddering, you forced yourself to open your eyes even if you didn't want to because you knew that if you did, you would be trapped by those chocolate brown that you had come to love.
Nonetheless, your eyelids slowly fluttered open – (e/c) clashing with brown.
The air sparked with electricity and you felt hot even though it was a cool night. The warm chocolate you had come to know had taken a darker hue and you could see your reflection in it.
"What is it about you that made me trust you so much even though I told myself to never get close with girls anymore?" Jungkook began, pain flashing through his eyes a memory of the girl he used to love appeared in his mind.
However, all he could remember was her smile – her face a blur to him.
The male went on. "How could someone like you tear down the walls that I've to build around me? How could have you worm your way into my heart so easily?"
It was the next few words that caused your courage to return, your shyness disappearing momentarily.
"Even if I tell myself that you can hurt me in the future, why do I still find myself thinking of you – wanting to see your smile that lights up my world and to hear your laughter that has become my favourite sound in the entire world?"
It was Jungkook's turn to be taken by surprise as you pushed his hands away. You placed both your hands to his cheeks, lightly squeezing his face. It was the determination in your eyes that had his heart racing.
"I'm not like that girl who hurt you and left a scar in your heart. You're my best friend and someone who is very dear to me. I would never hurt you, Jeon Jungkook. Not now and not never." You declared fiercely.
Jungkook lifted a shaky hand to his face, swallowing your much smaller palm in his larger one. His voice was thick with emotions when he replied in a low whisper. "How do I know I can trust you? I want to, but because of my past, I'm afraid to trust my heart with you. I won't be able to handle a second heartbreak."
You knew the struggle that Jungkook was facing. He wanted to trust you for you could see the hope in his eyes yet hidden in darkness was also fear – that he would end up hurt again.
Maybe it was due to you being caught up in the moment or maybe you wanted to assure Jungkook and affirmed your words. Whatever the case was, you said something that you would never in a million years had said it.
"It's because I love you and I will never, ever hurt the one I love."
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