Taehyung was for some reason angry with you-- and you did not know the reason why. Although you have tried talking to him but he was not responding to you at all in fact, totally ignoring your existence. After you told him what happened inside the castle when you were lost that how you met this whole other Taehyung he grabbed your arm and pulled you closer to him as he said

- Do not ever roam around this castle ever alone!

He warned and then nothing. He did not even spare a single glance at you. You were getting angry because you thought that he would be giving you all his love to you when you were looking so pretty in this dress. You wished he would be giving his love to you.

You felt stupid.

The ride back home was silent. SeokJin looking at both of you as Jungkook was trying to crack jokes to break the tension. Eunwoo was showing you some of your mother's hotels records.

- We got some rumors that your grandfather may be alive.

He said looking at something in his iPad as your eyes widened and you looked at him forgetting all your worries.

- Wait- what really?

- Again, it's just rumors so I will suggest not to think about it so much.

- Try to dig more, forget about any other job you have been given. Just look after it if he truly is alive then I want to meet him as soon as possible.

Taehyung looked after you-- after a whole night as if you grew two heads.

- It can also be a trap. Do it once the mission is complete.

- I don't remember him being your man. Eunwoo will do as I say.

- Sure and once you get to know that it is a trap then you will regret.

- Perfect, cause I seem to be regretting a lot of my decisions.

And after that nobody spoke anything. Jungkook pulled out his earphones listening to songs and Eunwoo and SeokJin were talking with each other while you were trying your best to not cry. You wrapped the shawl Eunwoo gave to you around yourself tightly trying to find comfort in it.

Soon, you all reached the house as Jungkook got down and helped you as you strode to your room. You were sitting on your bed as you took off your heels while massaging your legs. You saw there were red marks on it as you sighed. Taehyung entered the room as he took off his jacket and threw it on the couch, his back was facing you as you picked one of your heel and threw it towards him with full force as it hit his back and he groaned turning towards you.

- Ow, what the hell was that for?

You got up as you glared at him with tears in your eyes. You were sure that your eyes were bloodshot red.

- Jerk.

You were making your way out of this room when he came and grabbed your arm pulling him towards you as his face was cold. You recognized that expression, it was the same when he looked at you for the first time in the abandoned room and called you an 'asset'

- What was that for?

- Oh look! Somebody can talk.

- Ii won't tolerate you talking to me like this Park Y/N.

Ouch. Again with the first names.

- And I won't tolerate you misbehaving with me like that. I am your wife for goddamn sake and it was our reception day Taehyung and you did not even spare me a single glance.

Your tears were pouring down your cheeks by now as you felt the anger run through your veins.

- Oh? I thought you said all of this was just a game for you right? A dare to be more precise.

You gulped the lump forming in your throat as you looked at him with a broken expression as you nodded your head.

- Of course it was, thanks for reminding me Mr. Kim.

You pushed his hand from yours as you made your way out of the room and got inside the only room which was free as you took your dress off and cursed at yourself remembering that you did not bring any clothes with you. You were in your bra and shorts as you went inside the bathroom to wash your make up and when you looked at your reflection you cried harder.

⚠

You just wanted it to end-- the pain. Funny thing about the pain is when you feel it, it hits you like a wave and washes away all your happiness and only leaves you with destructive thoughts. The self doubt, self hatred your anxiety crawling up your skin and eating all the confidence and every fucking happy thing you have ever had.

You felt angry. Angry because it was unfair. It was unfair how it was others mistake that ruined your life. You were angry at your mother because she was a fool to fall in love with him and to keep you when she knew you would be living this life, angry at your father your siblings at Taehyung because one moment he makes you feel like a queen and next moment worst than a slave. you were angry at this world for existing.

Your head was filled with parasites. You could see black dots covering your eyes.

Your tears were rolling down your face as you looked at the razor beside the water tap. You were staring at it for some time. It has been a long time since you have last harmed yourself. You remembered the times you cut and burned and scratched your hands, thighs, stomach, legs. Anything. You remembered the time you no longer had place to cut on your skin. And how Sehun treated your wounds and Jisoo asked for a promise from you that you would never harm yourself again. You sniffed as you took the razor in your hand

But suddenly the bathroom door opened and you saw Taehyung standing in the doorway his chest going up and down as his eyes were bloodshot red too as if he was crying too. Your eyes widened and your first instinct was to hide the razor behind your back. But too late because he already had an idea what you were doing. He held your hand as he took the razor out of your hand and threw it away as he held your face and kissed you.

The kiss, unlike the others was full of revealing secrets-- his and yours. Both of your insecurities and doubts and your pain and your troubles. Everything was revealed in that one kiss.

- No! You are not fucking alone. I am here with you and I will always fucking be. I am so sorry i know I was a fucking jerk there when I already told you that I will never leave you. I am fucking sorry. I am a messed up person Y/N. Just like you my life was unfair too. So let us treat each other please. . I need you. I need you more than anything and anyone. I am fucking serious. Tell me what you want and I will give you anything and everything.

He said holding your face as he was telling everything with so much desperation and so much honesty. His eyes held so much pain and so much guiltiness. You were already crying but hearing him telling those things to you, you felt more emotional than ever. All of your emotions were all over the place and you knew that he was right. Only he can treat you like you can.

- Stupid. I don't want anything, I want you to be with me. To love me.

You whispered as his eyes shined with tears. You could see the scars on his wrist and arms too and you knew-- you were sure of it that he has been there too.

- I will make you feel so loved tonight my love that you will never doubt yourself. Just give me the permission.

- Permission granted.

____________________________________

Hey lovelies!!

How are you?

To all my babies who self harm : You are and I know it is hard. You feel like the world has cornered you and you have weird coping mechanisms including self harm. Believe me, I know. I am walking the same path as you. But we know that self harm will not lead you anywhere. Hang in there, believe in yourself even if it is hard try harder. Beat your enemies and fight your insecurities.

Thank you, I purple you.