"-...I can't do this."

"....What?"

He held my hand, "You know I love you. But your obviously having trouble with this whole relationships thing. I put you first, above everything Tommy. And I'm not asking to be your top priority. I'm just asking for lunch....and even that you can't do. So how can you handle all this?"

He's right.

I'm so confused and I don't know why, but I just want to fix everything with Tubbo above all else.

That's been the most important thing to me lately and it doesn't seem to be changing any time soon...

Even so...I still want the relationship. And I think he should stay with me. I don't think breaking up after a week is a good idea. I still want him...

"I'll try harder. Please Ranboo. I'll wear your jacket again. We can have lunch every other day and you can hold my hand when we're with Tubbo. Just don't break up with me after one week. Give me more time." I pleaded.

He kissed my hand, "I know you want to sort things out with Tubbo first, so do it. Then come back."

I don't know how to be vulnerable....or sad. So instead I acted with rage...and perhaps that was my biggest mistake-

"Don't worry prick. I'll move on quick. I never loved you anyways- and you know that..." I laughed, "Cause I wasn't foolish enough to ever say it. Not only do I not love you...I don't even like you."

His eyes widened and he let go of my hand. He took a step back, "Fine then....don't come back at all..."

Tears poured down his face and he ran away to the bathroom crying.

I've never seen him cry before.....

What a coincidence that the first time I'd see him cry...it'd be cause of me.

Fuck!

I hate myself...

I went outside and under the stands by myslef. I curled up in a ball...and cried.

I may not fully understand what love is romantically, but...whatever it is I feel with you-....must be it.

Cause-

I love you Ranboo.

Wether his words were misguided by anger or sadness....it won't change the fact that he said it.

And if the words he speak truly express the way he feels...then that doesn't change anything either.

Cause until he apologizes and explains himself,.....I really have no choice, but to belive it.

And though the words cut deep and it would be easier to pretend I never heard it- I can't.

I truly love him...and he's truly hurt me.

So there I went, in a restroom stall by myslef. I curled up in a ball...and cried.

I sat by myself on the way to school today. I wanted to be alone.

I sat by myself on the way to school today. I wanted to be alone.

It was lunch now and I sat by myslef at a cafateria table. Unfortunately the usual crowd of girls came over and sat down. They began asking me out and fan girling as I sat there silent.

I sat by myslef at a cafeteria table. Unfortunately my teammates and the usual crowd came over and sat down too. They began talking and socializing as I completely zoned out and sat there silent.

When Ranboo and I got together, word spread quick since we were so popular. Thankfully, the break up was kept between me and Ranboo, for it had only been a day.

I didn't really plan on telling anyone- Actually, I didn't really plan on speaking to anyone at all ever again.

I needed to pee though, so I stood up, "Leave me alone. You all know I'm taken."

I only said it so they'd leave me alone.

Then I walked to the restroom. But I was stopped by some guy. I didn't look anywhere, but straight ahead of me. It was like I was in some sort of trance.

"Hey Tommy. I heard your dating the captain, however you two don't seem all that close." The guy said.

"Uhuh." I muttered completely out of it.

"So?" He asked.

It was a couple minutes later when a hand waved infront of my face. I refocused and then saw Purpled.

"Uh- yeah?" I asked.

He looked at me then over somewhere else, "Hey uh, someone's getting awfuly close with your man."

I looked over and saw some guy talking to Tommy. It hurt my heart. I know the guy is probably just hitting on him, but I can't help thinking Tommy did what he said he would-

"Don't worry prick. I'll move on quick. I never loved you anyways- and you know that..." he laughed, "Cause I wasn't foolish enough to ever say it. Not only do I not love you...I don't like you."

It cut me deep.

His words hurt more than any injury I'd ever faced....because, I love him.

I shrugged, "That's alright, he's no cheater."

I just said it so he'd leave me alone.

I decided to keep watching though.

"So what?" I asked finally snapping out of my trance.

"So are you guys dating?" He asked.

"Why does it matter?" I asked finally looking up at him.

"Well, everyone always thought you were straight. And I always sorta had a crush on you. So when I found out you were bisexual- I was thrilled." He smiled.

"So...your asking me out?" I asked.

He blushed, "Yep."

I nodded, "Huh."

"'Huh'?" He aksed, "What's that mean?"

I shrugged, "I dunno what to say."

He sighed, "How about you answer this- Can I kiss you, Tommy?"

My eyes widened and I shook my head no.

But- that never worked, did it?

I saw Tommy shake his head and the guy cup his face then say something.

I wasn't with Tommy.

I was still hurt by him.

And I was still both sad and upset.

But- I still loved him.

The guy leaned in and then I was pulled against a familiar chest as wierd as it sounds. I looked up to see Ranboo. I turned around to face him and hugged him, burying my head in his chest. He hugged me then spoke, "What were you doing?"

The guy got nervous, "I didn't know you guys were still dating! And he wasn't telling me yes or no! So I just though that-"

"You just thought that you could kiss him without consent? That's assault you dumbass." Ranboo said angry.

I hugged him tighter.

Ranboo rubbed my back, "Your okay."

I wasn't scared of this guy....I just missed Ranboo's hugs.

"I'm sorry! I won't ever touch him again! I promise!" The guy said nervously.

"Good, now scram." Ranboo said and the guy did as such.

I didn't want to pull away.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

I didn't respond.

"I know you aren't hugging me out of fear." He sighed, "But then again I'm not sure why your hugging me at all...you don't even like me."

I didn't respond.

How could I?

He let go of me and then I finally let go and stared at the ground.

He fluffed my hair, "I'll see you around my love."

Then just like that he walked away.

I sighed, You fucking dumbass. You could've apologized just now and told him how you feel! God your such an idiot!

I sniffled and then continued on my way to the restroom to pee.