We were outside at the football field, sitting ontop of the stands. Thankfully, I didn't see Tubbo anywhere.

"So? What made you want to talk to me after yesterday?" He asked.

I cleared my throat, "I'm s-...." I groaned.

He chukled, "Uhm....what?"

I took a deep breath, "Ranboo I'm sor-...."

"Oh I see. You can't bring yourself to apologize...,but for someone reason your trying." He said confused.

I rolled my eyes, "Well if you weren't so shity, it wouldn't be that hard."

"Well if you hadn't been rude, you wouldn't have anything to apologize for." He smiled.

I huffed, "Your making it harder to do this."

He shrugged, "I don't see why you have to. I mean-....it seems you don't really want to apologize."

Sarcasticly I said, "Ha. Ha. Why ever would you think that?"

He laughed, "Well then don't apologize. I'll do the project on my own. And when we do peer reviews....I'll be honest."

I sighed, "We can meet up at my house to do the project, after school today."

He smiled, "Good. Now what was the other thing you were trying to say?"

I rolled my eyes, "I am s- ughh!....Your so awful! I just can't! I did nothing wrong!"

He scoffed, "Did nothing wrong?! You insulted me to the max! Jeezus Tommy can't you just tell me your sorry! It's not that hard!"

I huffed loudly, "Okay, sorry you can't handle people telling you the truth. That you have no real friends and that you-"

He grabbed the collar of my shirt, "Shut your pretty mouth...you know nothing about me. And you never will....."

Pretty mouth?

"Excuse me?" I said raising an eyebrow.

"Y'know your really good looking. And you have a great personality.....,but your incredibly rude." He said.

I pushed him, but he didn't budge, "Let go prick! I don't want to know anything about you! And I don't care what you have to say about me!"

He clenched his fist, "You make me want to beat the shit out of you..."

I scoffed, "Do it dipshit."

He huffed, "Stop calling me names."

I leaned towards him, "Do it prick! C'mon! You'll probably get expelled, ruin that perfectly fake reputation of yours."

He took an uneasy breath, I could tell he was fuming with anger, "Its not fake! Stop assuming shit!"

"What happened? I thought you were a goody two shoes. Never cussed." I smirked.

He tightened his grip on me and brought me closer, "Shut your mouth already. I swear I'll punch you."

"Do it already....pussy." I chukled, "Your all talk no balls."

He stared me right in the eyes and then...all of a sudden it was like his eyes sparkled as they stared at me. He smiled slightly, "Is it just me....or do you want to kiss?"

I blushed- why did I blush? I have no fucking idea.

I pushed him back. This time he let go of my shirt collar and I yelled, "What the fuck did you say!? No!"

He chuckled and brought me back, "Y'know you really are cute....hot even."

He pulled me closer and placed a kiss to my lips. I melted- but why? I couldn't help myself. I kissed back and he pulled me closer.

When we pulled away he smiled, "So...did you just fight with me to get my attention? You liked me all this time.....and you were upset I never noticed you?"

I blushed brighter, "Wh- What? No, you have it all wrong. I still hate you."

He smiled and cupped my face, "Can I kiss you again Tommy?"

"N- No..." I bit my lip.

He smirked, "Thats pretty hot Tommy. But, what are you biting your lip for? You liked it, huh?"

I shook my head and pulled away, "No! I didn't like it! You assaulted me!"

He rolled his eyes, "You kissed back, silly."

I shook my head violently, "No! No! No! No! No! No! No! What have I done?!"

He chuckled, "Oh don't worry, I like you too Tommy."

I huffed, "No! I don't like you! Your terrible! Plus-....y- your someone elses...I- I couldn't have you even if I wanted to- not that I do anyways...cause I don't."

He raised an eyebrow and scooted closer, "What do you mean, I'm someone elses? I don't have a girlfriend or boyfriend.....,but I mean-...you can be my boyfriend if you'd like to?"

I scoffed, "What?! No! Stop it! You already know how I feel about you, so stop!"

He furrowed his eyebrows, "Tommy what's the matter? It's clear we like each other, so come here."

I huffed, "I don't like you! I'll never like you! I hate you, okay! Your the worst!"

He stopped pushing it, "Jeez...."

I frowned, "I'm sorry, but I think your getting the wrong idea."

He frowned too, "But....y- you kissed back."

I sighed, "I know.....and I shouldn't have. I truly am sorry for that one...."

He grabbed my hand, "Tommy I don't understand."

I stood up, "Just don't ever do anything like that again. I just want to....not be enemies. But that doesn't mean I want to be your friend."

He stood up and laced our fingers, then very sweetly he asked, "Can we still hang after school?"

I nodded and blushed, "Yeah...,but you have to stop this."

"Stop what?" He asked confused.

I moved his hand away from mine, "Don't touch me or talk so softly....It's wierd."

He looked to the ground, "Oh....my bad."

I rolled my eyes, "Get it through your head. I don't like you at all."

He nodded. I sighed and then walked away from him. I was gonna go find Tubbo....,but I can't even face him now. After what just happened....I feel extreme guilt.

I mean- holy shit!

What actually just happened?!

Tubbo likes him!

And I hate him!

Or at least-.....I- I'm supposed to hate him.

So why?

Why did I kiss him back?

Why did I melt so easily into his touch?

And...why do I sorta- not hate him as much?

Doesn't matter though, huh?

I can't be with him either way- though it's not like I want to.

.....Now I'm the worst friend ever.

...I kissed my best friends crush.

And the worst part is...I liked it....a lot.

I want to do it again too-

Jeez. I'm so fucking screwed.