I woke up Christmas morning with the revelation that I can't let the hurt I feel control my life. So I get out of bed and eat a small breakfast. I get all the little gifts I got for my mom over my trip out of my car.

"Mom, mom," I say shaking her a little bit.

"hmm" she groans

"Mom wake up it's Christmas." I say smiling down at her.

"Good morning sweetheart, I'm coming." She says rolling over to the side of her bed and getting up. We walk downstairs to the living room and she sits down on the couch.

I grab the things from the kitchen counter where I set them and bring them all over. They're in a big gift bag.

She hands me a small box.

I watch her open her gifts one by one each from a different monument or place I thought was interesting. Her eyes are a lot brighter than they are when I first saw her yesterday. Probably because yesterday she saw her daughter at the lowest she's been in years.

I promised mom I wouldn't go back to cutting. No matter how bad things got. So I haven't attempted. But it's crossed my mind. A lot. I always push it away because I've learned that letting the hurt control you just makes it worse.

Mom looks happier now.

"Do you like them?" I say when she's finished pulling everything out.

"I love them, Carter, thank you." She says smiling at me. I smile back at her. For the first time in 2 weeks a genuine smile.

"Open yours." she says gesturing to the small box In holding in my lap.

I pull the top off the box.

Inside there's a heart locket. I open the locket and see a picture of dad holding me as a baby, smiling up at the camera. My hand goes to my mouth and tears prick at my eyes.

"I was going through old pictures and saw that on my phone," Mom says. "I figured you should have that."

I look up at her in utter shock then back down to the necklace. I faintly hear the doorbell ring. Mom goes to get it while I stay in my spot.

"We're head to see Carter." I hear Maddie say from the doorway. She can't see me from there, but I can hear them.

"Carter doesn't want to see anyone right now." Mom says

Thanks mom

"Please Mrs. Miller, we just want to talk to her and give her this." Kena says.

"I will give her this. But like I said, Carter doesn't want to see anyone. I'm sorry." Mom reply's.

"Okay. Sorry for bothering you." I hear Seth speak up. So they're all here.

I hear a chorus of goodbyes, and the front door shutting.

Mom comes back into the living room with an envelope in her hand.

"This is for you." She says handing it to me.

"Thank you." I say taking it from her. "Can you put this on me?"

She nods and I hand her the locket gently. She moves my hair aside and clasps it around my neck. She puts my hair back down and smiles at me.

I walk up to my room, envelope in hand. I open it not really knowing what to expect.

Dear Carter,

I know we've only known you for a short amount of time, but we all love you so much, we've missed you these last couple weeks at school. We wanted to give you a real gift but couldn't decide so we decided to write you a letter. Seriously though, you've brought us all together and none of us could ask for a better friend. Merry Christmas Carter!

xo,

Kena, Mads, Rach, Josh, Jake, Seth, Dylan, Ollie, and Noah.

P.S. let Noah explain -Kena

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