It's the first time I've ever been in Xan's room so I take every detail I can in. My eyes scan the space, my teeth digging into my lower lip to fight a smile when I notice the picture of me in my cheer uniform that he stole. It's taped on his wall amongst a handful of other pictures similar to the way mine is in my own room.

Before I can look around too much Xan pushes me down onto his bed.

"What are you doing?" I ask as he spreads my legs and presses a kiss right below my belly button.

He blows a path of warm air across my lower stomach, stopping a breath away from my pussy. "What does it look like?" His hands glide up and down my inner thighs, over and over, driving me absolutely crazy.

"But you came inside me." I reply breathlessly.

"You think I'm afraid of my own come? You swallow it all the time." He retorts and then his mouth is on me and my eyes roll back into my head.

"Jesus, Xan." I moan, spreading my legs further and burying my fingers in his hair.

His tongue laps against my sensitive clit, swirling and rolling before sucking the sensitive bud into his mouth. I arch up off the bed and his hands grip my thighs and pin me down into the mattress. His mouth is relentless, his tongue a weapon that my body happily surrenders to. Every muscle in my body tightens in anticipation just before my orgasm crashes over me. I curse and whimper Xan's name as the delightful feeling charges through me like a freight train. Xan presses a gentle kiss against my pussy and my body sinks into the mattress in a melted puddle of nothing.

My heavy lidded eyes meet his as he rises onto his knees and towers over me looking like a god. His tongue snakes out and runs across his lips in a slow swipe and dear god it's so fucking hot. His finger tips dance across my thigh until the brush the lips of my pussy. He sinks two fingers inside me and I groan, clenching around the digits as he slowly thrusts in and out a few times before retreating. His fingers glisten in a mixture of our come and just when I expect him to bring the digits to his mouth he drags them across my breasts, painting my flesh. He plays with my nipples, pinching and tugging until their so hard they ache then he leans down and sucks one into his mouth.

"You're killing me." I moan, my nails digging into his back.

He swaps to the other nipple. "Now you know how I've felt since the day we met."

I open my mouth to question his reply but his lips release my nipple and meet mine before I can get a word out. His tongue snakes into my mouth and I forget about everything except the way he tastes.

"We taste good don't we?" He asks lowly and then bites my lip, dragging it away from my mouth before releasing it and flashing me that damn grin.

He molds his body against mine, his hand slipping under my back and abruptly rolls so I'm on top. I raise up, pinning his hard dick between my pussy and his body and grind against him.

He groans, his hands tracing up and down my sides. "Are you gonna fuck me as good as I fucked you?"

I arch an eyebrow at him, rolling my hips, gliding my wet pussy across his throbbing shaft and shake my head no. "I'm gonna fuck you better."

I rise up and grip his shaft, lining him up with my entrance before slowly sinking down until just the head is inside me. I lift back up and ease back down, stopping again once only the tip is inside me and repeat the process over and over, driving us both crazy.

"Fuck." Xan grunts, sweating beading at his brow. "Come on, Lennon Rose, you're killing me."

I'm killing myself too but I know it'll be worth it. I go for a minute longer until I can't take it any longer and finally take every inch of him.

"Oh fuck." Xan groans, his chest and abs covered in sweat.

I roll my hips with each thrust, my thighs quivering every time his dick hits my g-spot but god it feels too good. I lay forward, my breast smushed against his chest as our mouths meet. His hands palm my ass and he urges my thrusts. Faster.

"Xan." I whimper against his lips as another orgasm crashes into me, my pussy locking tight around his dick.

He takes control as my thrusts slow and pounds in and out of me at a rapid pace that has us both panting. His fingers dig into my skin as he buries himself inside me as far as he can go and lets out a deep groan when his orgasm hits.

He presses a kiss against my temple, his hands gliding up and down my back as a shiver rocks through his body. I sigh, my eyelids barely open and my pussy throbbing. One hand leaves my back and tangles in my hair, he tilts my head up, aligning our lips and gives me a long slow kiss that has my insides melting by the time he pulls away. He wraps me up in his arms and we pass out.

Xan wakes me up in the middle of the night asking if he can fuck me again, I spread my legs and arch back against him and he enters me from behind. It's slow and lazy but it's so good. I fall right back asleep after we both come like nothing ever happened.

The next time I wake up the sun is streaming through the window between the curtains and my body is deliciously sore. I groan and roll over, forcing my eyes open, my hand blindly searching for Xan but he's not there. I rise from the bed and slip on one of his shirts that's lying on the floor and then cautiously open door. I can hear the tv on in the living room but I don't hear any voices. When I enter the living room Jax is on the couch and we both blush at the sight of the other.

"Um... good morning." I say, tucking a lock of tangled hair behind my ear.

"Good morning, Lennon." He replies, catching me by surprise.

I guess what he seen last night made me pretty damn memorable. I want to laugh at the thought but I push the feeling down.

"Where's Xan?" I ask.

His brow furrows. "He didn't tell you? He had a lunch date, he left ten minutes ago."

A sinking feeling pulls at my stomach and that angry green monster I met for the first time last night rears it's ugly head again at the thought of Xan on a date with someone else. The thought makes me feel nauseous and dirty.

"Oh," I mutter. "I should probably get dressed and go then."

I guess Xan's just not that into me, not like I thought he was at least.

"You don't have to, stay as long as you want." He shrugs.

Part of me wants to stay and wait until Xan gets back, whenever that may be, to hear an explanation. The other part of me, the irrational part, wants to leave and never speak to him again.

"I have a few things to do but thanks." I lie and then fast walk back to Xan's room and shut the door.

Tears prick my eyes but I'm not even sure why. Xan and I are just fuck buddies, we never made any commitments and I don't even like him most of the time. Maybe it's the sympathy I saw in Jax's eyes or the shame I feel although I don't know why I feel like that either. I haven't done anything shameful, I had a night of amazing sex and now I'm going home.

God, what am I talking about? Of course I know why I'm upset. My feelings for Xan had changed, they'd morphed into something more than just two people messing around. I have a right to be upset! With the way he holds me and touches me and kisses me, I thought there was more there.

I slip my skirt on but don't bother with my top, instead I leave it on Xan's floor and steal his shirt. Divya's pea coat is laid across his desk chair so I tug it on and leave the room. Jax is still on the couch when I step into the living room but I don't even look at him, I can't. I grab my shoes and quickly lace them up and then leave the house.

The walk to my apartment feels longer than usual even though it's not. I'm sore and each step just reminds me of everything that happened last night, every detail is burned into my brain and I'm scared it'll never go away. Divya gives me the spare key and as soon as I step inside I let the tears free.

Damn it, screw you Xan!

I swipe the tears from my cheeks angrily.

"What's wrong?" Tayen asks as she's exiting the bathroom while I'm removing the pea coat.

"Nothing, I'm fine." I mutter, tossing the coat onto the couch.

Her eyes scan my body as I take a seat on the couch to remove my shoes. "So since you're wearing a shirt that isn't yours and yesterdays skirt plus you never came home last night, I'm gonna say things worked out at first?"

At first.

"Sure, after I fell on my face before I could even make it across the room to Xan." I huff.

She winces. "I was about to ask where you got that mark on your chin."

"I was walking toward him but then I saw him smiling and talking to a girl and I just... froze. Someone mowed me down and Jax helped me up. I was jealous." My nose winkles in disgust. "I felt so stupid that I ran out of the basemen and Xan ended up following me. He drove me to their house, got the first aid kit and cleaned the mark on my chin and my elbow." I toss my shoes by the door and cross my arms. "Then he bent me over the couch and Jax walked in on us and we both came in front of him."

She gapes at me. "Oh my god."

"Yeah!" I purse my lips and heave a sigh. "He took me to his room and we messed around some more and then fell asleep. When I woke up he was gone and Jax was in the living room. He actually remembered my name for once and told me Xan was on a lunch date." I shake my head in complete disbelief. "A lunch date, only hours after having sex with me."

I was still in his bed and he went out with another girl!

"Well I mean if he didn't remember your name after watching you come I'd be worried about him." She jokes but then sobers up. "You have feelings for Xan, don't you?"

I shrug, glancing down at my lap. "I thought we had become more than just a hookup. It hurts knowing he got out of bed with me and went on a date with someone else. Literally only hours after he came inside me." I pause and smack my forehead, feeling like an idiot. "Oh my god, I let him come inside me without a condom on without being monogamous. I'll have to get tested."

"Lennon!" Tayen scowls at me.

"I know, it was stupid." I groan. "I was so caught up in the moment and I'm on birth control so I didn't really think too much about it, but I should have."

"It's okay, I'll go with you if you want some moral support." She gives me a reassuring smile.

I sigh. "How do I get myself into these situations?"

She frowns. "Honestly I thought Xan was into you. I've never seen him out with anyone else. Ace says he usually stays busy with tutoring, working at the shelter or in class. Maybe you should talk to him."

I snort. "That's not happening, I don't want to see him."

If I looked at him right now I might cry and I don't want him to see me cry.

"You should talk to him at least to get closure. I know you and if you don't this is going to follow you around until it blows up in your face."

She's probably not wrong but I'm still not going to talk to him. I'd rather deal with an explosion than talk to him again.

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