"Hey, Y/N"

"Yes big man?"

"You should really join back in the SMP.."

After an eventful weekend with Luca and Lily, the next day I went to Tom's house to proceed with our project-- which was thankfully almost done in it's planning stage!

Though after hours of being at his house, he finally says something that threw me off.

At the familiar sounding words from Tom, I stopped writing and let out a bit of a long sigh.

"...this again?" I muttered out, leaning back into the couch cushions, "....you're surely persistent about this..."

Tom scoffs a bit at my statement.

"Me? Persistent?"

"You're the one constantly bringing up the SMP when I always tell you that I feel awkward after all that happened." I began to ramble on, "It was my fault for being stupid back then... but- surely you understand."

"Yeah, I know" He says, "..but still"

"still..?"

At this, Tommy stops what he was doing. He places down the pen in his hand and he proceeds to also lean back on the couch cushions, Tom's eyes start to shy away from me.

"I just... It'd be really cool if you were back in the SMP..." He tells me, voice quieting a bit. The way he looked while saying what he said made my heart harm a little. He just looked... cute when saying that- I'm allowed to admit that.

I started smirking a bit, rolling over and leaning closer to the blonde.

"..Seriously, is having me back in the SMP really that important to you?"

Turning to face me with cheeks brushed in red, Tom starts glaring.

"H- Hey, It's not like I'm the only one who wants you back..." He tells me, "Not only a lot of the SMP members, but there are some viewers that actually really like you being on there."

Tom then starts to calm down a bit, afterwards I see him smile.

"You made everyday on the SMP much more enjoyable for... everyone" He says, "..You had fun too, right?"

My mind starts to flood back to all the good times I had on the server. All the people I got to talk to, the places I got to visit, the opportunities I received... All giving me a satisfying warmth.

"Yeah, I did" I smiled too, "but--"

"--you think it's still.. wrong?" Tom finishes my sentence for me.

"..yeah"

I sighed, my smile fading.

I'm not really sure why I feel this way about the smp anymore. Maybe it's because I have other worries and doubts about it. Maybe it's because.. if I joined back then social media will blow up?-- in a bad way.

I mean- having someone who wasn't meant to be there go back again? as an official member nonetheless.... There would at least be some sort of uprise..

That's probably the real reason why I didn't want to go back on, even if I really wanted to- I kept telling myself that it was wrong for more stupider reasons. But I was actually afraid of the consequences that the others will have to go through.

I could care less about what happens to me, people can say whatever they want. I just don't want any of my favorite content creators to receive stupid backlash over it.

"You shouldn't have to feel that way, y'know..." Tom murmurs.

He pauses for a moment before letting out a lightly loud and overexaggerated exhale.

"Look- I'm not a fucking spokes person like Wil, but you don't need to feel like joining back is wrong."

"You should really think about the SMP as... a place where you can hangout with friends." Tom tries to reason, "Like, Y/N- joining back into the SMP doesn't mean you have need to stream. You can just play on the SMP and help with lore occasionally-- mostly with mine though."

'Oh yeah- lore'

But those are reasonable alternatives I can do... Roleplaying again without the need to focus on a chat would be better for my heart. The troubles I had trying to interact with my chat when I did stream was a massive stress for me.

In a summary: Though the lot of them were lovely- I still had a hard time talking and being entertaining.

"But, that's all." He concludes, " You don't need to worry about chat and their opinions on you.. You can just play the SMP normally."

Yeah. His ideals and offers were really tempting...

Honestly, I was going to say no- only because I still had my ideals in mind. But the more I stared and Tommy, and the more he stared at me with those-- puppy dog eyes.. my words were caught in my throat.

I wasn't able to say a proper 'no'.

"...While the idea does seem appealing--"

"...Dream still has you whitelisted" Tom mentions.

I raised an eyebrow.

"wait- he does?"

"yeah," He replies, "...actually, I don't think he ever got rid of you- despite everything..."

"....you wanna get on with me sometime this week?" Tom asks.

"really?" I questioned.

"Well, yeah." He says, as if it was dumb of me to even ask, "so- how about it?"

"uhh.... well..."

I paused for a moment to think about what he asked of me.

"sure... I guess it'd be fine" I answered.

At my answer, he sounded quite over the moon. He was so excited for our time on the SMP that we instantly started planning what to do and when we should get on.

He had many plans- and I listened to every single one of them.

The poor project was neglected again, but that didn't matter all too much to me.

It's been a while, so I'm not even sure about many changes to the SMP...