Rose had been listening to Chan's SKZ-RECORD song, I hate to admit, on repeat.

How could I forget. The day you lied to me.

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It was a form of self-torture as if Chan was singing directly to her. Every moment since she left Chan in his studio that day, Rose had wondered if she was doing the right thing.

He probably hates me now after what I said to him.

That day she had gone home and cried herself asleep. When she had woken up and made a plan. She couldn't stay there. The boys knew where she lived and if they came for her, she wasn't sure that she would have the strength to say no.

So, after sorting a few things out, including telling JYP of her departure who was very understanding if not a little too gleeful at the news and had told her not to worry about anything, Rose booked a flight.

Deciding where to go had been a little difficult. She hated to leave Korea as all her friends were there, but ATEEZ were close friends with Stray Kids and Anna had just debuted. Plus, she wasn't sure she could face seeing her friend living happily with her Idol soulmates at the moment.

So, Rose had headed home and now she was back at her parents' house. After two weeks of feeling sorry for herself, it was time to accept what she had done and move on.

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"Good. "

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"That's nice. "

Rose was going to KCON in LA. Her mum had no idea that the soulmate she had run away from would be there or she might not think it was such a good idea, but Rose had to see her boys again. She needed to make sure that they were okay.

As she gazed out of the window of the plane, Rose couldn't help but get lost in her thoughts. Here she was about to secretly see her soulmate and the boys whom she had come to love more than anything, and she had disappeared from their lives without even goodbye.

When she thought of her sweet Felix and how he must have come back from Japan to find her gone, it made her throat close up. At the time she thought she had to do something drastic to remove herself from their lives, but she hadn't considered how that would affect her returning to them. When that time came would they even want her back?

After landing in LA, Rose made her way to the hotel and waited for Anna to arrive. BTS's soulmate was coming to KCON to support their company's youngest male group, ENHYPHEN, but since she wasn't there official for work, she was arriving a day earlier. Rose had booked her room in the same hotel that Anna would be staying in. So, they were planning on ordering room service and having dinner together to catch up once she arrived.

Once she arrived at the hotel, Anna messaged Rose her room number. When the other girl opened the door, she immediately wrapped Rose in a tight hug. After somehow managing to walk in and close the door behind them, they stayed like that for a good few minutes.

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Anna pulled away and they went and sat down in the comfy chairs in the living space of Anna's suite.

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They spent the rest of the evening chatting about anything and everything other than Chan and Stray Kids. Rose had already told Anna what had happened over the phone once she had gotten to England. Anna had been a supportive friend about her decision as she partly understood being an Idol's soulmate herself.

The next day they went sightseeing around LA while Anna did a vlog. Like when they went to Lotte world together, Rose made sure not to appear on camera. That night they were talking about what would happen tomorrow when Anna felt like she had to say something.

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Rose willingly fell into Anna's open arms and cried as the other girl comforted her.

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Anna respected Rose's choice and knew it wasn't her place to interfere, but she wanted her friend to be happy. Nevertheless, it was going to be difficult to see the members of Stray Kids tomorrow.

KCON was amazing. Rose dressed in disguise with a hat and mask on as she attended the ATEEZ fan events during the day. She was so proud of them. For the concert, she was sat far away from the stage, so she didn't need to worry about being recognised by any of the Idols.

When Chan appeared as the first special MC, Rose did her best not to start crying. There was her soulmate, in person, and he looked so good. He was shining like the star she knew he was. This is why she gave him up so that he could soar unhindered.

She felt so proud whenever she saw any of the boys appear on stage and even more so as they all came out to close the show. They were amazing which was not surprising, but it was interesting how they adapted to the 360-degree stage. Although Rose did wonder what the view was like for fans who were close to the stage when the Idols were dancing with their backs to them.

As they said goodbye it was hard knowing that she couldn't go and see them. Even more so because she could tell that they weren't quite themselves. They did a good job of hiding it and the hype of the concert must have helped, however, Rose knew them well. Jisung in particular seemed to be more subdued than usual which worried her.

It had been three weeks since she left, so surely, they weren't still affected badly enough to let it affect their work. Rose had always imagined that she was having the hardest time other than Chan. She thought most of the other members would be angry but forget about her quickly. If her leaving negatively affects their career, the opposite of what it was meant to do, she would never forgive herself.