«we were born to be alone»

✎

"Happy birthday to you," Seojun sang as he carefully lit up the chocolate cupcake he bought for me, "now blow the candle."

Usually someone wishes for something on their birthday, and I was close to wishing for Seojun to feel the same way back. But I would rather get him to like me on my own, no forced feelings or anything. Just natural.

I blew the tiny flame out and snatched the treat away from Seojun, pulling out the candle just to throw it on the floor.

"What was your wish?" He asked me.

I stood up from the bench we were sitting on and took a quick bite of the cupcake, "I didn't wish for anything," I said before gulping down the chocolate dessert.

"Why not?" He walked up to me and had a confused expression on his face, "you don't make wishes on your birthday?"

I have. I wished to be more social and to have the best school year ever but they never came true. So I gave up on them pretty quickly and just accepted the fact I'll have a boring life forever.

"I do but I couldn't come up with a wish this year," I lied to him. Seojun only nodded and kept quiet as we entered the school building.

"I'll be right back," he patted me on my back and hurried away. My eyes followed his steps and saw that he was speeding towards a girl. Jukyung. His feelings for her are never going to disappear. I will always come behind Jukyung.

I'll always be second.

I walked to my classroom and kept thinking about Seojun and I. My heart knew he was never going to feel the same way back, and I accepted the fact he'll only ever see me as a friend.

I reached my desk and planted myself on the wooden seat. The classroom was somewhat empty. A few students were speaking amongst each other, some were studying or taking naps, and I was finishing my cupcake.

Suddenly I felt someone wobbling my shoulders. I turned behind me and came face to face with Sua, "happy birthday Yeeun," she cheered.

Sujin smiled softly and repeated those same words, "happy birthday Yeeun," she rubbed my shoulders gently and handed me a tiny piece of candy.

I felt a rush of glee over take my body. This was the moment I realized I finally made friends, which was something I have always been lingering for.

Sua spent the entire conversation begging me to spend time with after school. Apparently she came up with plans to celebrate my birthday. There was a part of me that wanted to say yes but then I remembered Seojun also wanted to take me out.

"You're always with Seojun just hang out with us this once," Sujin pleaded.

Despite only being friends with them for two months, they've treated me as if we've known each other since we were kids. They made me feel welcomed and not so lonely.

"Sure," I told them. They both smiled and Sooa began telling me all the things she was planning on doing. She was cut short by a cheerful Jukyung, "Yeeun!" she shouted, "happy birthday!"

I thanked her quietly and turned my attention back to Sua, who immediately began talking again once she saw the opportunity to continue describing her plans.

The next few minutes were just Sua speaking. I focused on the words leaving her mouth until I noticed Seojun enter the classroom. For a moment I thought he was looking at me, but in reality he was staring at Jukyung.

I remembered what I told myself earlier. About him only ever seeing me as a friend. I knew the only person he had feelings for was Jukyung and that it wasn't going to change, so I knew I had to end things to make him happy.

I stood up from my seat and left a blabbering Sua behind. I went over to Seojun's desk and leaned close to his face, "can I talk to you privately?" I asked him.

He seemed puzzled at first but soon agreed to my request, "sure."

I had him follow me all the way outside of the classroom and froze once I realized I was actually going along with this foolish idea. But I had no other choice, Seojun didn't feel the same way back.

"I think we need to end this relationship," I struggled to say nonchalantly, "how do you expect Jukyung to like you back when you have a girlfriend?"

Seojun looked at the ground, as if he was thinking about something. A few seconds later he glanced back at me and his face lit up, "you're right," he told me, "no wonder she avoids me."

I felt a wave of sadness rush through my body as he smiled in excitement. A part of me regretted this and I didn't realize until now that the friendship we both had was going to change starting today.

I forced a smile back and cheered him on, "go talk to the love of your life," I joked with him as I pointed to our homeroom where a happy Jukyung was chatting with Sua and Sujin.

He patted me on the shoulder, "now you have a chance with Suho," he teased me before returning back to our classroom.

I cursed Seojun out quietly and stood there as my mind came up with a hundred different ways to insult him. He actually believed Suho and I will become a thing. That idea completely baffled me.

I was in misery the next few hours watching Seojun flirt with Jukyung in the most obvious way possible. Sujin kept giving me awkward glances and I noticed how she couldn't keep her eyes off of Seojun.

The hallways were flooded with blabbering students once we were dismissed, and I didn't even get a chance to exit before being pulled back into the classroom. I turned around and saw Sujin with a frown on her face.

"I need to tell you something," she told me.

"What is it?"

Sujin looked at the door once more before turning back to me. She seemed anxious and began blinking rapidly, "you should know that Seojun has been shamelessly flirting with Jukyung."

"Oh," a bitter feeling taking over my stomach, "we're not together anymore," I murmured to her.

"Why?"

I hummed to myself before finally coming up with the perfect lie, "we treated each other more like friends. It didn't feel like a relationship," I said in a soothing voice to convince her.

Sujin didn't seem to question what I told her and she began rubbing my shoulder as a way to comfort me. Before she was able to say anything else, Sua popped her head inside and began shouting for us.

"We're leaving!" Sooa whined, "let's go."

Jukyung appeared behind her with a huge grin on her face. I felt my shoulders being squeezed and I turned to see Sujin staring at her with a not so nice expression.

I dragged her with me as I followed both Sua and Jukyung to the hallway. The four of us were strolling to the outside of the school building until Sujin opened her mouth, "let's play a game while we walk to the arcade," she suggested.

Sua nodded her head as Jukyung just looked at her with a smile. Sujin gave her one back but for some reason it seemed not genuine. I brushed her off and waited for someone to start whatever game they wanted to play.

Sujin held both of her hands up, "put a finger down," she spoke slowly, "if you have ever messed around with someone's boyfriend," she shifted her gaze to Jukyung, who chuckled at the ridiculous question.

I scrunched my eyebrows together and thought back to the conversation we both had. Sujin was obviously right about Seojun being flirty but I was confused on to why she was suspicious of Jukyung.

"Sujin you've done that?" Sua asked with a concerned look on her face, she sounded hurt as she waited for her best friend to answer her question.

Sujin quickly shook her head, denying that she's ever intervened in a relationship before, "no. I just asked to make this game more fun."

Sua laughed awkwardly, "oh," she turned to me and asked, "Seojun didn't plan anything for you?"

My eyes widened. I remembered that Seojun DID have something planned. He's probably still at the school waiting for me or maybe even looking for me. I looked down at my phone, panicking as I tapped on the screen to check if I received anything from Seojun. There were some very angry and confusing messages flooding my lock screen.

"Where are you?"

"Are you with the girls?"

"Hello???"

"Are you ignoring me?"

"I'm sorry if I made you mad with the comment I made about Suho earlier"

"I'm not sorry anymore I hope he throws strawberry milk at you"

"I hope you go back to being a loner"

The messages just kept coming in and the loud vibration wouldn't stop. Sujin, Sua, and Jukyung could only look at me in confusion as I attempted to send a message back, even though it was quite impossible because Seojun wouldn't stop spamming me.

"Are you still at school?"

"Yeeun answer me"

"I hate you"

"Why would you ditch our plans?"

"This is the last time I'm ever doing anything nice for you"

Sua snatched my phone out of my hands to see what was all the commotion. She gasped at the dramatic messages from Seojun and furiously glanced at me, "who does he think he is?"

Both Sujin and Jukyung took a peek at the texts and raised their eyebrows in shock. I stayed silent as Sua continued cursing out Seojun. Her complaints were cut off when a male voice began shouting.

"Yeeun!"

The four of us turned to the voice and my eyes widened once I saw Seojun. He was stomping over to us and his face was filled with rage. Sua glared at him as he got closer and closer to us.

Seojun stepped close to me and huffed out, "why weren't you answering my texts?" He questioned me as he pulled his eyebrows together. Seojun kept quiet as he waited for my anxious self to answer him.

"You two aren't even together anymore," Sujin spat out, "why do you care?"

Without even turning to look at her, shock crossed Seojun's face and I could sense the panic filling up his body. My eyes shifted from Sujin to Seojun repeatedly until he finally spoke up, "I know," he struggled to say, "but you know I needed to make sure she was going home safe."

I just stared at him as he came up with the worst lie ever. Seojun avoided looking at the three girls and glanced down at the ground. He gulped before looking back up at me, "get home safe," he awkwardly patted my shoulder and proceeded to walk away but he was stopped by an angry Sua.

"Explain this," she shoved my phone in his face which caused him to turn pale. Sua continued to wave the phone in his face before he yanked it out of her hands.

"Why are you reading our messages?" He asked her.

"Because you wouldn't stop spamming her," Sujin answered.

I noticed the tension between the three of them and walked in between Sua and Seojun. I pulled my phone out of his hands and tried coming up with something to say to calm them down but nothing popped up.

Sua aggressively poked his chest, causing him to take a few steps back, "how dare you disrespect her?" she hissed, "you bastard!"

No words came out of Seojun's mouth as Sua continued yelling at him. I finally had the courage to intervene and managed to get Sua to shut her mouth, "shut up!" I shouted at her.

Sua gave me a confused look, frowning because I raised my voice at her. I awkwardly turned to the rest of the girls before coming up with a lie to throw them off from the text messages, "we were still planning on hanging out," my voice shyly spoke, "but I decided to celebrate my birthday with you guys without telling him."

"I'm not apologizing," Sua boasted, "I will always defend my friends," she glared at Seojun, who rolled his eyes at the tiny girl attempting to intimidate him.

"Next time," he told me, "tell me when you're going to cancel our plans," he muttered with a hurt look on his face.

Before I could explain myself, Seojun walked away. My eyes followed him and I left behind the girls to jog up to him. I tugged onto his elbow and tried to spin him around to face me, "are you mad?"

Seojun chuckled, "no I'm so happy you ditched our plans," he said in a sarcastic tone.

I punched his shoulder in response and he yelled in pain. My eyes shot him a look and punched him once more as I began defending myself, "I didn't mean to ditch you," my voice whined, "Sua and Sujin really wanted to hang out so I said yes."

"So you should've just told me," Seojun said, "I looked like an idiot looking for you all over the school."

The corners of my mouth began lifting themselves, "you were looking for me?" The thought of Han Seojun running all over the school building just to find ME made me burst into happiness.

"I was looking for you," he repeated, "and you were nowhere to be found," Seojun sucked his lips before finally speaking again, "and for your next birthday you're spending it alone because I'm never doing anything nice for you,"

Seojun leaned in, "again," he empathized.

I raised my eyebrows as Seojun attempted to walk away from our conversation but I quickly caught up to him, "are you serious?"

Seojun nodded instantly, "yes," he spat out.

My hands reached out to give him another slap but he grasped onto my wrist and pulled me close to him, "hit me again and I'll tell your mom you cheated on me," Seojun threatened.

My mouth fell open, "you are so miserable," I angrily told him as I attempted to tug my wrist back but Seojun had a tight hold and would not release me.

"Let her go," our bickering was cut short when someone decided to intervene. My head turned to the voice and there was Suho staring at the both of us.

Seojun tightened his grip and practically slammed my body onto his chest when he jerked me closer to him, "and what if I don't want to?"

My face turned red as Seojun's sweet cologne filled my nose. I felt a sense of comfort of being this close to him, but it was also a bitter feeling because I'll never experience it again.

Suho walked over to us and glared at Seojun, who showed him no emotions. It was weird to be in between two boys, who were for some reason in a rivalry, but I felt flattered since their arguing would always be over me.

I paid no attention to the boys since I was too busy dozing off the idea of two handsome men fighting over me. I woke up from my thoughts as I was suddenly pulled away.

My eyes trailed from the arm that was holding onto me all the way to their face. Suho now had his hand squeezing onto my elbow as Seojun began throwing insults at him.

A burst of annoyance over took me and I began punching Suho on his chest, causing him to release me and take a few steps back. I shot Seojun a look before going over to him to do the same.

"Hey!" Seojun shouted, "stop it!"

"I am so tired of the both of you," I snapped, "why do you guys always have to drag me into your stupid fights?" I rested my head onto my hands and took a deep breath.

"Ah," Suho muttered, "I'm sorry."

My head shot up from my hands and turned to Suho. I once again began slapping on his chest as I shouted furiously, "I'm especially tired of you," the slaps rapidly became more violent, "you're always provoking Seojun!"

I heard a chuckle come from behind me and I paused the beating. I shifted my attention from Suho to Seojun and pushed his arm, "why are you laughing?" I asked as I started whacking him once he responded in another chuckle.

Seojun became vividly annoyed and tried moving away from me, "hey!" he shouted, "are you crazy?" He looked at a frightened Suho, "get her off of me," Seojun pleaded.

I pulled away from Seojun before Suho even had the chance to grab me. I twirled away from them and I looked up to sky, my hands positioning themselves into a prayer, "dear god please me," I cried out, "what did I do to deserve this?"

"Yeeun what are you doing?" Seojun questioned me.

I finally calmed myself down and turned back to them. A smile grew on my face once I thought of a great idea to get these two befriend each other.

"Since it's my birthday," I told them, "my birthday wish is for you two to get along."

Seojun rolled his eyes and scoffed, "that's not happening."

I smirked, "you told me we'll do whatever I want. So I want you guys to come with me and my friends to celebrate my birthday," nodding to Seojun once I reminded him of his promise.

Without glancing at Suho, Seojun exhaled deeply and closed his eyes. He glared at me before finally responding, "fine."

"Great."