«i became blur»

✎

"Save me a seat" Seojun reminded me before walking away to the lunch line. I only nodded in response and looked around the cafeteria for some seats for us.

I found an empty table in the middle and hurriedly made my way over there. I sat down slowly as I scanned the cafeteria for Seojun. There he was in line chatting with Jukyung. She gave him the biggest grin ever and he leaned closer to her with each and every word that came out of his mouth.

A bitter sensation took over my body. I became more tense as I watched them giggle to each other. I sucked in my lips before looking away and going back to waiting for him at this table.

"Since when did you start liking Seojun?" I turned my head and saw Sohye standing over me, "the most random couple I've ever seen," she snickered as she sat herself down next to me.

I scooted away, "why do you care?" I asked her.

Sohye began tapping the table with her fingers and she leaned in slightly, "I find it funny," she whispered, "that's all."

I flickered my eyes to the table, "okay," my voice quietly let out.

"I'll see you in class," Sohye rubbed my back as she got up and returned to her group of friends.

Suddenly I hear a loud bang next to me. I turned to look and saw Seojun with his tray of food resting on the table. He shoved a piece of meat in my face, expecting me to just eat it from his hands.

I moved his hand away, "what is wrong with you?"

Seojun threw the meat back on his tray and sighed loudly, very loudly, "you're the worst," he said while shaking his head.

I slapped his shoulder, "aren't you the same person who thinks slamming me on the wall is romantic?" I said to him before stealing food from his tray.

He rested his cheek on his hand and slightly smirked, "but you like it."

I paused right as I was about to insert a piece of fruit into my mouth, "no I don't," I muttered.

Seojun moved closer to me, "your face turned red and you didn't move at all."

I pushed him away, "stop it," and proceeded to munch on the piece of fruit I was holding. My mind couldn't help but focus on the voices chattering from all over the cafeteria. Were they gossiping about Seojun and I? I can't walk peacefully in the hallways without someone shooting me a look. There's a part of me that somewhat regrets going along with this little joke but there's another part of me that enjoys Seojun's company.

"You okay?" Seojun spoke softly to me.

Despite having the urge to reply no, I still responded positively to him, "yeah," I gave him a small smile and looked down. I clasped my fingers together before a hand placed theirs on top of mines.

"You can talk to me about anything," Seojun muttered to me. His eyes showed that he was being sincere, but I'm still unsure about any of the words that come out of his mouth. That he doesn't truly care about me. That he's only saying that stuff so I can fulfill my promise of helping him out with schoolwork

My eyes refused to look up at him, I only scooted away and placed a strand of hair behind my ear, "my bad," he said as he removed his hands from mines.

We spent the next 30 minutes in silence. Seojun got up from his seat and followed everyone else out of the cafeteria. Leaving me behind instead of forcing me to follow him.

"Today we'll be doing a mini poster on explaning what this sentence from a short poem means to you and your partner," Mr. Han told the class, "go sit with your partners you have 40 minutes."

Mr. Han paired me up with the only person I despise as much as Sohye.

Lee Suho.

He shot up from his chair and strutted over to my desk. Suho's eyes refused to meet mines as he planted himself onto the seat next to me. I awkwardly rubbed my hands together before deciding to speak to him.

"Let's get started," I said in a somewhat cheerful tone. He only nodded in response. My body slightly scooted away from him as he reached over me to grab some of my utensils.

Suho immediately glared at me and that just caused me to scoot even farther from him. He appeared to be annoyed as he aggressively scribbled onto our poster.

I just started at him in silence, analyzing his every movements trying to read his body language. I noticed his lips were pressed together and he had a tight grip on the pencil.

He definitely has some sort of grudge against me.

I glanced around the classroom before clearing my throat, "are you mad?" my voice trembled a bit.

Suho responded the way he usually did.

Silence.

I sucked in my lips and nodded. There was absolutely no way I was going to do my share of this project with him refusing to acknowledge me. On the bright side at least he wasn't forcing me to do this on my own unlike .

Suddenly, Suho dropped his pencil and stared straight at me. He raised his head a bit before opening his mouth, "why are you with Seojun?"

I scrunched my eyebrows together, taken aback by his words. I let out a tiny laugh and responded to his question, "why do you wanna know?"

He shrugged and continued scribbling on our poster, "I was surprised that's all," Suho looked up and motioned his head to Seojun, "if I were you I would be checking up on what he's doing behind my back."

I glanced over at Seojun and noticed that his eyes were fixated on someone. I already knew who it was without even looking. I sighed and went back to analyzing Suho.

I didn't seem to understand why he would tell me that. Was he looking out for me or did he want to start problems? I crossed my arms and leaned back on my chair, "why do you care?" I blurted out.

"I'm just saying," he quickly responded to me, "your boyfriend seems interested in someone else," he said under his breath.

I snatched my pencil out of his hand in rage, "give me that back," Suho scoffed and attempted to retrieve the writing utensil back, "where'd your pencil go," I sneered at him.

Suho didn't give up. He leaned closer and closer in an attempt to grab the pencil out of my hands. I shifted myself away from him as he shoved his hands in my face, "grow up," he hissed at me.

Without realization, I scooted to the edge of my seat and sensed my body begin to lean back. Suddenly I felt a tight grip on my wrist and that same grip pulled me forward.

"Watch yourself," I heard someone say in a threatening tone. My eyes followed the voice and there was Seojun towering over Suho. Both men shooting each other a dark look.

Seojun refused to make any eye contact with me meanwhile I continued to stare at him. He peeped at me before taking a step back, pressing his lips together, and slowly releasing his hand from my wrist.

Seojun returned to his seat but kept his gaze on Suho. He only responded with a sigh and an eye roll. I sneakily placed my pencil on his desk and kept my distance from him, "sorry," I apologized quietly.

I sat confused, thinking whether or not Seojun did that out of jealousy or to make this whole relationship seem more realistic. Or maybe he was just simply passing by and thought Suho was pushing me. But I didn't enjoy whatever that was not even one bit.