"I thought you left me because you wanted to save me from the prison. Do you know how it breaks my heart more knowing this was all your plan from the first? Knowing that you had known everything, still lying to me and give me a fake hope that we could have a happy marriage, make me head over heels to you but you just simply left me after that. Are you happy, Y/N?"

He averted his eyes, but not before you recognized the pain in them, a tormented and languished gaze, a stare preserved for people who were able to love deeply enough that they could be destroyed by it. For a moment, you knew that gaze intimately, remembering it from a time long gone. The ache of a shattered belief once known. You knew that feeling.

"Are you happy that you finally could pay your revenge? Are you happy hurting me, thinking that I was totally deserve on what I had done to you before? If that so, yes you have done a right thing, Y/N. I was deeply hurt because of you."

Looking at that pain in his eyes, you felt a regretfulness with his that you had never experienced before. Like they shared something powerful and unspoken, something so deep and devastating, it bonded them together. You knew then, that if he didn't forgive you, you would never survive.

You were nothing without him.

You stood there, staring at him without saying anything because you know you are going down. Tears came to his eyes, which he quietly wiped away. You were crying too, your shoulders heaving up and down and how you wish he could hold you, comfort you because you cannot deal with this alone.

Silence. It was a moment of silence between us. When truth is replaced by silence, the silence is a lie. Things come apart so easily when we have been held together with lies. He was right. You had hurting him with your lies. Even though, from your perspective it was not a completely lie, you did know about Mark's plan and you did left him at time he needed you the most.

Just because something isn't a lie does not mean that it isn't deceptive. Just because you're really have a honest feeling to him at that time does not mean you can hide the fact that you're the one who started that evil plan- the whole contract marriage and using Jungkook just to get revenge on Jennie. It isn't right to wish pain on other people just because they hurt you first.

But now you had realized, be clinging to your hates so stubbornly because your damn selfishness, once hate was gone, you forced to deal with pain. The feelings that hurt most, the emotions that sting most, how you wish you just die on that day than dealing this pain? You know that it's easier to look at death than it is to look at pain, because while death is irrevocable, and the grief will lessen in time, pain is too often merely relentless and irreversible.

Remorseful. Guilty.

That was how you felt at that very moment. You wished for a time machine so you could go back, rectify the mistake - the worst of all you had done.

However, you could not. Impossible. In this sadness there is no past or future, just living by the moment. You had to live with it. Remorse etched at your heart. Guilt gnawed like a worm at the core of an apple. A tear trickled down your cheek, memories flooded your mind...

You just looked at him, feeling utterly breaking. You didn't know what you was supposed to say to him.

My life is with that man. Please let me stay.

You wanted to reach out and grab his hand and hold it to you, right over your heart, right where it aches the most. You don't know if doing that would heal you or make your heart break entirely, but either way this constant hungry waiting would be over.

As you about to take a step closer to him, you heard Jungkook spoke. You stopped and looking at him whom shaking his head, not letting you to come close to him.

"You were not wrong for leaving. I know how messed up I was on that time. But you were wrong for coming back and thinking you could have me when it was convenient and leave when it was not."

The sadness flowed through your veins and deadened your mind. Tears release the pain that is embedded in your heart and soul. His words were a poison to your spirit, dulling you, killing off your other emotions until it was the only one that remained.

It was as if a black mist had settled upon you and refused to shift, and no matter how bright the day was you would feel no sun and hear no bird song. For the world was lost to you and you knew of nothing that would bring it back into focus.

His eyes were glistening, but for some reason you couldn't reach out and touch him. It was like some gestures were so simple they were beyond you. His pain was guarding him. He wasn't always that way. His guard wasn't always up and that wall wasn't always there. Heartbreak changed him, made him less trusting.

"Please," you said. "I'm begging you to stop, Jungkook!" you began to cry but maintained your shouting through it, like a wind through sheets of rain.

He lifted his head to look at you for a second but then he looked away again.

"I don't understand, Y/N. I don't understand why you'd leave me. Why would you that? But now I have come to realize why you did left me..." he gulped and remained silent for a moment, a tear streamed down his face again as he turned to see you.

"I'm not the right guy for you," his voice broke. "I can feel it so strongly and it's making me crazy- please," he said to you. "Don't be sad. Or hurt. Or guilty. You've done nothing wrong."

You gasped. "I'm sorry-"

"Don't be sorry, either," he said again. "If I stayed here, something inside me would be lost forever-something I couldn't afford to lose... Your happiness..."

Your heart literally hurts when it's breaking. You can feel it, every beat another ache, and nothing you can do will stop it, either from beating or breaking. His words were killing you deeply and the guilt of this holds you down momentarily. It appears to be there constantly. You realize that nothing belongs to you anymore.

What I did was foolish and impulsive... If I could take it all back, I had done this so instant... I truly didn't mean to hurt you in any way... I am sorry for hurting you, Jungkook...

"Please don't leave me. I need you..." At that, you howled great big, messy sobs, your shoulders shuddering, "Don't go, Jungkook. I-I love you and I-I'm sorry I hurt you be-before,"

A single tear slid down from his warm, deep black eyes, followed by another one, and another one, until soon, a steady stream of salty tears flowed its way down his pale cheek, releasing the sadness and sorrow that has been held inside of him for all this time but still he did not make a sound. At the same time, a girl lets out a heart wrenching wail that was followed by a series of blatant tears. One would ask. Is it better to rack your body with noisy sobs and let the world know of your pain, or to slowly release your emotion within yourself with silent tears?

"I was yours. Unconditionally and completely. And now here you are for the hundredth time stopping me from leaving you, when in truth it was you who so carelessly let me go. Just like you had said before, our marriage was a mistake and it was my mistake making you a priority when I was just your second choice..." the tears finally got the best of him and he pressed his palms to his eyes as his shoulders started to shake. He cried silently, in so much pain that there was no sound to equal it.

You cried harder. You didn't want to, but you couldn't stop yourself.

You couldn't stop yourself, so you thought about all the bad things happened between us and you fed it and fed it until you was crying so hard you had to gasp for breath between sobs. Breathing is hard. When you cry so much, it makes you realize, that breathing is hard. It hurts to breathe because every breath you take proves you can't live without him.

He slowly lifted his face, continually speaking and his voice choked with tears. "I saw your worst, Y/N and I stayed. I told you I will accept Mark's child no matter how much I hate his father but you doubt me. You doubt my love to you. When I say I love you more, I don't love you more than you love me. I mean I love you more than the bad days that happened to us, I love you more than any fight we ever had. I love you more than the distance between us, I love you more than any obstacle that could try and come between us. I love you the most but you doubt me and leave me again..."

Hearing those words, it's breaking your heart apart more and more. The chasm is filling up. Filling up with gallons and gallons tears. Tears that were unshed, but piled up. And the endless supply of hurt, guilt, and sadness grew and grew. And now it's going to burst out. The tears will empty from the chasm, and fall out as a stream from your blood shot eyes. And the chasm will expand, and expand and it will be too much for your small heart that can only take so much. And your heart will crack in two. But no one will know. No one will ever care. He had said so.

He took a deep breath in, still managing himself as if he were resisting temptation. He swallowed down the dry choking sobs which had been heaving up from his heart hitherto, "All I want is someone who will stay, no matter how hard it is to be with me but you... you don't want this as much as I did. You don't want me as much as I want you. You don't want to fight for me, for our love and our precious daughter. Maybe it is enough to show me that we will never ever could be together..."

Jungkook is the type of guy who disliked tears, he has always disliked tears, had never understood them, and sometimes lost his temper over them; but as for today both of us are wrenching with tears, when our suffering are over limit, the soul cries out.

You reached out for his hands and clutching him tight in yours. "No, that's not true, Jungkook. Please listen to my explanation first. I did not leave you because I hate you or anything like that... I was just-"

"It's too late... Whatever you try to tell me, it is too late, Y/N. We had gotten ourselves this far and there are so much trouble I got you into. I had hurting you so many times until I lost counts, you nearly die because of me and I don't want Eva to lose her mother again..."

You saw how the weight of his mistake, the guiltiness, weighed down on him and he cried, brushing the tears on his cheeks away brusquely; his eyes rimmed with dark circles looking extremely heartbroken.

"This is not your fault. Please stop blaming yourself. If you wanted time, I can wait. I'll wait for you," you said as your hand dropped to your side, as your eyes began to dim, in determination. "I could wait for you to forgive me even it takes forever."

Jungkook slowly brought his hands to your cheeks and caressing it along with his sad smile. "I wish I could take the colors from a rainbow and place them into your heart so you would remember what beautiful feels like and know there is hope in the dark. But I was totally forgot I'm the one who turned you into someone who wasn't pretty anymore..." he said. His voice breaks on the words.

"You were pretty until I saw the way your eyes swelled when you cried and you were pretty until I heard how you stutter your goodbyes. You were pretty until I saw the way you lock your door at night, and you were pretty until I knew you never felt quite right. You were pretty until I heard your heart is empty but then you weren't pretty anymore. You were beautiful to me and I destroy you, the beautiful side of you..." his eyes were glistening staring at you in tears. But that smile... That smile you weren't able to forget...

"I don't want to hurt you or anybody so please forget about me. Clean your tears and stop crying; you are not the only one with a broken heart."

You sucked up your tears and sniffled one last time. You wasn't really ready, but you knew you had to be. You wiped your cheeks dry and summoned up all the courage you could muster. This man you were with would sooner leave you behind and you had to be tough, at least, for now.

"It was always going to come to an end, wasn't it? I loved you. Even it was hard I still loved you. I wish you still did too, but I guess things have changed." You said.

He nodded his head, half-hearted. "I know. And I loved you too, so much. But I think most good things come to an end eventually."

"Thank you, Jungkook."

He lowers his head at the break in your voice. You ignore the moisture in his eyes and pretend that yours don't sting again.

"For what?" he whispered.

"For the memories of five years we had together. Eva is the biggest gift I ever received from you and for that I thank you,"

No matter how badly the bond between us might end, know that I will never forget you or the memories we made. Simply because the good outweighed the bad and I'm grateful to have met someone like you, Jungkook.

The second you realized you had nothing left to say is the exact moment you realized it was truly over. There are three things in life that that leave and never return: words, time and opportunities. And you just had all of them in one moment.

"Eva..." he smiled. "She will forever be our daughter,"

You took a step closer to him, feeling hesitated to say it. After taking a deep breath, you spoke low, "Can I hug you for the last time?"

He walked up to you slowly and pulled you closer to him wrapping his arms around you, his grip around your tight. You couldn't have stopped the flood now if you'd wanted to, and you really didn't want to. You'd been holding it in too long. You sobbed against his neck, eyes streaming and burning, throat raw and sore, chest aching. You babbled between the sobs, begging him to stay.

"My love," his voice whispered, "There is no need to fear now. I shall protect you from those who mean you harm." His hands massaged your back.

The sky was so blue you couldn't look at it because it made you sad being in his arms, swelling tears in your eyes and they dripped quietly. And then we hugged each other tighter than we ever had before, knowing that we never would again.

"Wasn't it nice?" you said into the silence. "To feel wanted, even if it was only for a little while?"

"And if it wasn't real?" Jungkook stroked your hair and pulled you into his chest, deeper.

You squeezed your eyes shut and thought for a moment. "It was nice," you repeated, "even if it wasn't real." A pair of tears raced down your cheeks.

I was hoping to find home in your arms, instead we became distant strangers the moment your arms enveloped me... it felt a lot like goodbye...

I didn't mean to leave but because I did, now I can barely breathe. I love you so much it hurts, I just wish you will take back your words. But you won't. I was never good enough for you, all I ever did was hurting you. And I'm very sorry that I did and I know it was all my fault. I know you have all the reasons to leave but I wish every second of every minute that you will find one reason to stay. But the truth is you won't, you will move on and I will be alone. But that's fair. I left, so now you're leaving me.

You slowly released the hug and staring at his face. "I love you," you whispered softly. "I would have given my life to have one more day with you, and tell you that."

You gently leans in and kisses Jungkook's lips. The lips you touched were cold and yet they responded to you with an unusual warmth. Something, you thought, was wrong with that. The hands were too smooth, not like a plastered wrist would feel.

This was a different kind of a kiss, not one that leads to something, but a hard, painful one.

It was a goodbye kiss.

There was a lot of pain in that kiss. There was so much hurt and so much fear in it. You felt tears rolling down the both of our faces. But, in that kiss, there was even more want. We both wanted to smother out that pain, to not have remembering so many horrible things in the all too recent past, to just be two broken person saying goodbye.

The memory slowly faded away. You could feel tears strolling down your snout from your eyes. You missed Jungkook... He did what he could to save you today...

We pull apart and take shaky, shallow breaths. "I have to go now," he said, looking away as if the kiss was meant nothing to him.

"N-no," you shook your head instantly and tears keep falling down to your cheeks. "Please don't leave me, Jungkook..."

"Take care of yourself, alright," he said before kissing your forehead and started to walk away.

Breathy gasps reverberated through the cemetery. You were crying. Salty tears mingled with dark clouds and the oncoming tempest whipped your hair around. You was finally alone, scared and devastated. Your heart felt butchered, your love taken away bit by bit.

But when you does feel all the strength go out of you, and you fall to your knees to the grass and you think you cry, then, or at least you want to, and everything inside you scream for just one more kiss, one more word, one more glance, one more...

He started to estrange her...

And they became strangers

Who knew each other's heart,

So broken as they drifted apart.

You walked away and all I did was watching you, because no matter how hard I tried to make you stay, you still left just like me three years ago...